My heart! So wide open with women, midwives, doulas, physicians, educators and all who share a passion for respectful, quality care with heart.

I feel a glow with the love of an extended family that accepts me for who I am, who listens, shares, nurtures, challenges and debates with compassion and love. With my dear friends and many new friends, I have danced, sung, enjoyed skits, fire, water, air and earth, laughed and cried.  I am have felt creative energy flowing in young and old as together we vision a world of gentle, peaceful, sacred birth and how the ecology of birth, effects the ecology of our planet.

These are all feelings I am full of as I fly across the Atlantic back home after an incredible week at the Midwifery Today Conference in Blankenberge, Belgium.  Huge visions and grand dreams fill me whenever we gather at Midwifery Today conferences.  We are always reminded of Margaret Mead’s great quote:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has”.

Jan Tritten, our mother of Midwifery Today brings together many wise and inspiring speakers and sessions, I honor them all and want to share just a few with you….

Verena Schmid, a midwife who practices in Italy, and whom I co-taught with at our doula workshop this year in Bassano de Grappa, speaks so eloquently about the eco-system of birth, the ecology of birth.  Her words, always take me deeper in our need to reframe our perspectives of childbirth globally.  Being busy teaching and facilitating sessions myself I could not attend all her sessions but I trust I arrived at the right moment as in her session on the physiology of second stage, I entered the room as she was saying:

“Orgasmic power is the capacity of abandoning oneself to the flux of biologic energies, and of being able to unload the accumulated tension of labor pain through involuntary rhythmical contractions of body and vagina, giving the baby to the world and welcoming with satisfaction and tenderness”

There are no coincidences she continues: Childbirth is sexual. Childbirth is an opening process. Childbirth and integrity. All spoken over evocative images of beauty, history, and symbolism.

Verena recommends this 80s video to show spontaneous birth when women are upright and ease their baby’s into the world.

Verena explained all the harmful (yes harmful!) aspects for the pelvic floor in 2^nd stage:

Recumbent or reclining positions (also in water), Imposed position by caregiver, not instinctively assumed by women, Pushing efforts in apnea (holding breathe), fundal pressure, Episiotomy, Vacuum/forceps, Disturbed environment, Lack of empathy and affective support, and Fear.

What a contrast to what is possible, and yet with all the scientific knowledge, why are we not improving care to make birth safer and easier for women?  We have the knowledge.

Betty Anne-Davis a midwife from Canada said it well at the Human Rights in Childbirth Conference that followed, “Doctors don’t know Squat!”  (The position of course as she and I both agree we value and honor doctor’s and their role, we just need more midwives to have a healthy maternity care system in balance)

We must stand, kneel and squat to deliver and not take it lying down!

I also had the chance to speak with Michelle, Marta‘s daughter, who was so inspired by helping to catch her sister that she too attended sessions and shared her growing passion for childbirth as a natural part of a woman’s life and sexuality.

Katerina, a midwife from Russia also shared her Orgasmic Birth story with me as her children played nearby, so many women from around the world, 42 countries in total representing our diversity and desire to reclaim childbirth and strengthen midwifery care around the world.

Here is Mr. Bernard Bel’s of AFAR response to Debra’s backstory about the Orgasmic verse Organic Birth titles….

Dear Debra,

Long ago (in 2001) a group of birth activists led by two homebirth midwives invited us for a contribution to the public show they organise every year in the context of International Women’s Day. Since I was collecting interviews of women who had unassisted births, I suggested that we invite a few of them to speak about their experience. The title of their intervention would be “Le plaisir d’accoucher, pourquoi s’en priver?” which means: “Pleasure of birthing, why should we avoid it?”  The organizers felt shocked with the title and this contribution was canceled on the pretext that it would generate “bad reactions from the press”… Their main problem was to promote the case of intelligent women who did not rely on the care of midwives for a secure birthing. However they felt equally disturbed by the notion of pleasure associated with childbirth. One of them confessed that after thirty years of practice as a homebirth midwife she had never noticed anything pleasurable in the experience of her patients!

In those days writings such as “Resexualizing childbirth” (Leilah McCracken) and a few pleasurable birth stories started circulating but only in a very small circle of people who could read English and communicate via internet. We started publishing birth stories, encouraging parents (and caregivers) to share their experience in writing. Gradually the idea that birth may “also” be pleasurable made its way, at least women experiencing it were no longer seen as hysterical nymphomaniacs. 😉 I often argued that sex can be the most pleasurable experience in life wheras it becomes a horrible and painful event when forced or even disturbed by someone’s will.

Indeed, pleasure in birthing requires more than the respect of privacy, but privacy and gentle care are necessary conditions for it to happen.

For these reasons I personally would keep a title like “Orgasmic birth” for the original film and a slightly less provocative one such as “Le plaisir d’accoucher” (Pleasure of Birthing) for the shorter version. Both of them would convey the idea of pleasure and we would avoid discusions about what is “natural” triggered by the word “organic”.

I let you know about more comments.

All the best,

Bernard

To read Debra’s original response to Mr. Bel’s inquiry about the titles please click here.

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Debra was asked about the different film titles: Organic and Organic from Mr. Bernard Bel of AFAR: Alliance francophone pour l’accouchement respecté. Mr. Bel explained that people were concerned (or horrified to be exact) that the Organic title was an attempt at self-censorship of the Orgasmic Birth title and further explained that in France ” ‘organic’ food/farming is still perceived as a marginal activity and “natural” is often associated with a regressive vision of women being naturally “complimentary to men” – as recently spelled out by a proposal for the Tunisian constitution (inspired by religious fundamentalists). Whereas “orgasmic” is undoubtedly connected with pleasure and freedom, i.e. democratic values.” It is so interesting how the same word can have such a different context in different languages and cultures! This discussion inspired Debra to write the backstory about the titles. Here it is….

I know many of you are wondering why the name changes from Orgasmic to Organic Birth. I’ll begin with why we even chose the title “Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret” in the first place. Some of you that have attended screenings with me over the years have heard this story of how I attended a pitch session in New York City for independent filmmakers. We were in the middle of making Orgasmic Birth and our working title was An Ordinary Miracle: Global Models of Care. The film was the same vision as it today, about pleasurable birth but we didn’t yet have a title that reflected the power and possibility that birth offers in our lives.

The day of the pitch session I was teaching a workshop in New York City.  I had spent a great deal of time talking about the sexuality of birth, the ecstatic hormones of labor and “Orgasmic Birth”.  One of the women who was at the workshop was also a filmmaker.  When I mentioned I had to leave right on time to attend an independent film pitch session with top Television executives, she offered to come with me and be my film doula.  We were all gathered in a big auditorium with a long table down below with executives from different networks.  I felt like it was the American Idol of filmmakers.  I waited and waited and finally my name was called out.  I was asked to stand right where I was and begin my pitch.  I stated my name is Debra Pascali-Bonaro and my film in production is An Ordinary Miracle: Global Models of Care.  One of the gentlemen said you can sit down now.  I quickly stated I thought I had 10 min. to share about my film.  He said with a title like that he didn’t need to know anymore as I wouldn’t have an audience for this film.  I quickly, shared my 2^nd working title, which was  Ecstatic Birth.  He repeated please sit down.  My film doula next me hit me as I was coming down to my seat and said: “yell out “Orgasmic Birth”.  Under my breath, I said “I can’t”.   She said: “Why! What do you have to lose?”.  So with that I jumped back up and yelled out “Orgasmic Birth!”  The auditorium broke into laughter and the gentleman in the front said:  “Now, that is not possible?” I went into my 10 min. about the sensuality, sexuality and the possibility for pleasure, bliss, ecstasy and orgasmic joy in labor birth and beyond.  “We birth the way we live”.  He ended my 10 minutes by saying if you make that film you will have something people will be intrigued by.  I sat down smiling and then thought am I really going to step out to the world with the title Orgasmic Birth?

Running through my mind was something my friends had said: the definition of insanity is to… do the same thing and expect different results.  I knew it was time to borrow a slogan from Karen Brody “To be bold!”  I was ready to step out and speak about the ecstatic bliss and joy available to women and men during childbirth.  We needed to have a new discussion if we were to make change in birth around the world.

Well as they say, the rest is history.  We released Orgasmic Birth in the end of 2008. Orgasmic Birth has traveled to 46 countries, numerous film festivals and is translated into 10 languages.  We continue to receive interviews weekly from around the world.  So you ask, why did we create a shorter 52 min. version with a new opening, a new birth and revised editing of many of the scenes?  We have been asked to create a broadcast version to air in many countries around the world.  A broadcast hour is  52 minutes of film.  I welcomed the opportunity to go back into the edit room after having watched the film literally thousands of times and redo some of the scenes with a new eye.  After many hours of work, money and time put into the new addition, we thought what else could we do with it to share it with the world?

It was decided we would release our new, revised, shorter version of Orgasmic Birth  as a DVD.  If we use the same title how would people know the difference between the two?  Should it be  Orgasmic Birth 2?  That did not feel right to us. We knew we needed a new name, a way that people could distinguish between the two copies.  Over the 3 years since the release of Orgasmic Birth we’ve notice consistently that 40% of our Google analytics come from people googling the name Organic Birth.  I had often wondered; did people really think we were saying the word organic not orgasmic?  Maybe with our focus on organic gardening and organic living it seems more culturally appropriate.  So another late night searching for a title, we thought let’s give people what they’re looking for Organic Birth.

Orgasmic Birth’s cover is the color red so we made Organic Birth green.  We call Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret,  Organic Birth’s tag line is Birth is Natural! Organic Birth is still about pleasure, ecstasy, transformation, facing our fears, and finding orgasmic pleasure.  It is a slightly gentler approaching, sharing all that is possible in birth.  Our new version is another approach to bring a message to the wider world.

Orgasmic Birth still creates a larger discussion, sells more and generates the controversy needed to look into the issues and make change.  We must view the connection between birth and a woman’s sexuality.  For if we are to truly support women and their partners, fathers and others in childbirth, we must see the sacred, sensual connection to how our hormones and physiology of birth and sex are connected.

If caregivers honored the intimacy of birth: created privacy, ensured all women felt safe, offered a variety of comfort measures, many more women would find their way to an easier, safer and more blissful, orgasmic experience.

In the end, I believe each film Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret and Organic Birth: Birth is Natural!  add to the discussion and can be used in different ways and settings to help woman and men see all that is possible in birth and beyond.

I welcome your thoughts and feedback.  Have you seen both versions? Which one do you like better? How do you feel about our titles? What is your favorite quote? Both version of our film are now available on the Orgasmic Birth website for digital rental or purchase a well as to purchase DVD’s. 

Read Mr. Bernard Bel’s response here.

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DETAILS AVAILABLE SOON for ORGASMIC ITALY 2014- Sign up here.

I am sitting by the pool for my last morning in Agerola as I savor the memories, the magic, the beauty, the people and the views atop the Amalfi coast in Agerola, nicknamed Little Switzerland. High above the Mediterranean Sea, the views take your breath away.  From our Hotel Le Rocce we see both the mountains of Agerola and the Mediterranean Sea below glistening and reflecting the July sun shimmering and dancing on the water where the sea and the sky blend, taking us into infinity with our views and our dreams.  It is Orgasmic Italy!  My new name for our new weeklong retreat and tour with my cousin Graziella.  We are taken back in time living in a traditional Italian Village where we share our lives, finding pleasure in the food, people, views.  Our lives open up and expand in ways that words cannot fully capture.  Love, happiness and music flow freely.

Guiding our woman’s circle for 7 blissful days, I am blessed.  Opening to new elements in our lives, we created friendships and memories to last a lifetime.  Taking the beauty we discovered within and around us home, we will integrate those discoveries into our lives.  Because words can capture some of the magic, here are quotes from participants to inspire you to find pleasure today where ever you are:

“I enjoyed the most pleasurable week of multi orgasmic experiences ;). Love, share, care, learn, adventure in a truly magical & mystical environment! Together in the company of very beautiful wonderful woman I enjoyed delicious Italian food, warm Italian hospitality, stunning nature. Most special for me was our boat trip along the Amalfi coast with Panini & Prosecco bubbles and refreshing swims. My heart softens & opens up of the fairytale memory of our enchanting trip between worlds in the Valley of the Fairy’s. A part of me still lingers there & a part of the valley lives as part of me now.” ~Ursula

“Breathing in the fragrances and pure air high above the Amalfi coast, I look out on the Mediterranean sea from my room.  Ageroleans open their arms and hearts in welcome. From the “biologique” food served in several hundred-year-old palazzos to mountain walks in the Valley of the Fairies, my stay has been a feast of the senses.  There is magic here.” ~ Roberta

Where do you do to find Orgasmic Bliss in your life?

Would you like to join us for our Orgasmic Italy taking place June 15 – 22, 2014?  Join our mailing list for more information as it become available in the coming weeks, and sign up early for our early bird discount!

Warm sunny days and cool breezy nights have added to a transcendent week in Bassano de Grappa Italy with 13 doulas gathered in Chiara’s beautiful Villa in the mountains overlooking the village.

Sarah Buckley, MD joined me for the Introduction to Childbirth for the DONA birth doula workshop. Sarah’s must read book Gentle Birth; Gentle Mothering is part of my recommended reading for all expectant women and birth workers.

It is such an honor to hear Sarah speak once again, about the conditions that are needed for MotherBaby hormones to flow optimally. “A woman or any mammals needs to feel safe, private and unobserved.” With the ideal conditions a laboring women finds her zone, as Ina May Gaskin says, “If a woman in labor is not looking like a goddess she is not being treated right!” When the woman is releasing elevated levels of oxytocin the love hormone, also called the hormone of calm, connection she is also receiving a great pain reliever. In addition, beta-endorphin, the hormone of pleasure, takes a woman to an altered state.

Sarah continues: “The Native Americans say the laboring woman goes out to the stars to bring back the soul of the baby. Babies also produce beta-endorphin creating a pleasurable mutual dependency. Every mammalian mother needs these rewards to fall in love and care for her baby.” “But, if the Saber tooth Tiger shows up we have high levels of adrenaline, which can slow or stop labor. In a hospital birth the tiger can be strangers, those the mother does not know or feel safe with, a doula can help her to feel safe.”

It is essential that we understand the physiology of birth so that you can create the birth ambiance and choose the people and the setting that will allow your hormones to flow optimally, not only creating a safer, easier birth, but also able to move from pain to pleasure. Sarah’s presentation is a gift for the doulas, and to me, as I always love to hear the gentle ways she presents this important essential knowledge.

This Italian doula workshop is truly the “orgasmic” doula workshop, filling us with love, wisdom, tastes, song, dance and more!!

After one of our ecstatic meals together, Elena Skoko, author of Memoirs of a Singing Birth, and husband, Roberto and daughter Coco, sing to us as mothers nurse their babies and toddlers and doulas smile and sway as our collective oxytocin and emotions flow. A beautiful end to another blissful doula workshop-day, where we discussed rebozos and the doulas role in providing comfort in childbirth.

Daniela, a doula and lactation consultant offered us her passion and wisdom in a three hour Breastfeeding class that meets yet another requirement for DONA certification.

Verena Schmid, an amazing, wise Italian midwife, joined the circle too and shared about postpartum care and the golden first hour after birth. At night, Verena joined me for the first screening or Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret in a theater in Bassano.

This is truly a special workshop where a DONA International doula trainer, a physician, midwife, lactation consultant, singers, amazing cooks, incredible doulas, have joined together in a circle to broaden our knowledge about the physiology of childbirth, understand the doulas role in supporting mother’s partners and babies, learn comfort measures, share our experiences, heal, grow and learn to support challenging births, while creating a lasting memory full of emotions, friendship and oxytocin. This has been a unique and incredible experience for us all. Together we have created an additional link in the bridge between midwives, physicians and doulas in Italy.

We have our closing dinner yet to come, look for our photos on facebook.com/obirth as we celebrate an end to a life changing week near the famous Bridge in Bassano de Grappa.