Country of the Month

Salamat Hari Raya Nyepi, 2014

I am writing on the eve of Nyepi, the Balinese Hindu New Year, after a enjoying a day of silent reflection; the whole island of Bali is dark, no lights, no traffic, no planes and no sound.  The sky is sparkling with stars, often not seen, due to all our lights.  It is so peaceful.  I have the feeling that comes over me at a birth- the world stops and nothing else matters, the sacredness of new life, the connection to the divine in each of us can be felt.  I feel a deep sacred connection to nature.

Last night, like labor, the feeling was completely different and much more intense.  Over the last few weeks, each village made several large Ogoh-Ogoh statues made of papier-mache symbolizing negative elements and evil spirits.  The main purpose of the making of Ogoh-ogoh is for the purification of the natural environment of any spiritual pollutants.  The Ogoh-ogoh represents the Bhuta-Kala (Bhuta: eternal energy, Kala: eternal time), according to Hindu teachings. The imperceptible potentials of nature cannot be thoroughly explored by anyone. Philosophically, civilized men are required to manage the natural resources without damaging the environment itself.  What a wonderful thought to apply to birth, to honor and trust nature and not to damage it by overuse of technology.

As the sunset, groups of boys, teenagers, young and older men carried the Ogoh-ogoh on their shoulders.  A large and loud procession accompanied by tradition Gamelan music played as the entire village came out to join the procession and walk the village to ward off the evil spirit.  Several of the Eat Pray Doulas and their families joined in.  During the procession, the Ogoh-ogoh is rotated counter-clockwise three times. This is done at every crossroad of the village.  Rotating the Ogoh-Ogoh represents the contact of the bodies with the spirits.  It is intended to bewilder the evil spirits so that they go away and cease harming human beings.  After all the activity the island goes silent.  Like labor, lots of work and intensity and then the peaceful moment of holding your newborn in your arms, resting after all your hard work.  Just like birth it is important to ask – How do you ward of your fears and demons?  I love the Ogoh- Ogoh’s and all it symbolizes.  It gives us a chance to voice our fears and demons and to have a way to both symbolically and today in meditation and prayer to release and chase them away.  Wouldn’t it be fun to make our own dolls/puppets or item that could hold all our fears and negative things we have heard about childbirth?  To find our own way to release them, or as they do here to burn them and take a day to sit in silence and reflect as tomorrow begin the Balinese New Year, with new beginnings.  I am humbled to have shared in these sacred ceremonies and to look at ways we can reclaim our sacred rituals in childbirth too.

As I look at the sky sparkling tonight, I think of each of you around the world.  I hope you too can look at the stars tonight and feel the peace we feel in Bali on this sacred eve.  May the stars fill your heart with love and help you release your fears and demons.

How will you release your fears in childbirth? Please share your stories and ideas so we can reclaim sacred traditions and create new rituals in childbirth.

Join me at Eat Pray Doula

Fall 2014 or Spring 2015

I am writing as I listen to great laughter emanating from the Balinese who have gathered for the afternoon Laughing Yoga in the village of Nyuh Kuning.  Just hearing the laughter from my room I am smiling and can feel the change in my body.  What makes you smile inside and out?  What can you do to bring that feeling to you in labor and childbirth?  To laugh, releases our stress.  It’s hard to stay in the fear-tension-pain-cycle that so many women get stuck in during labor, when you smile and use laughter in labor.  It feels so nice hear the laughter.  I am drawn to go see them.  I join the crowd gathering as everyone smiles and laughs, it is contagious and feels so good!  I can feel the beta-endorphins, the hormones of pleasure flowing.

The effects of laughter are amazing including a reduction in blood pressure and significant drop in cortisol levels equating to a stress-free experience.  When we laugh, more oxygen ends up in the tissues of the body.  Laughter also encourages the body to produce oxytocin, the same hormones released during labor which relaxes the cervix.  Laughter has also been shown to reduce pain by blocking the message to the brain that pain is occurring. – Guardian Liberty Voice

What does it feel like when you change your hormones?  We all know that feeling when we are scared or stressed.  You can feel the change in your body as our stress hormones flow and tension takes hold of your body.  Check-in with how you are feeling at this moment….  Now watch this laughing baby:

How do you feel now?  Within 90 seconds you can begin to understand how there are many simple and subtle ways we can change our hormonal flow and transform pain to power and pleasure in birth.

Recently I spent the day at the Water Temples in Bali with our Eat Pray Doulas.  Water is the element of emotion.  We could feel our emotions flowing with each sacred blessing, water flowing from deep within the earth poured on us.  Each fountain blessing us with it’s element as we held our intention, the water cleansing us and touching us in so many emotional ways. The cool water on our hot skin, we held reverence as we each connected to the divine energy within us in our unique ways.  Peace poured over us and again we changed our physiology and released our stress hormones, moving to calm, connection and the hormone of love- oxytocin was released with prayer and meditation.

As I lay by the pool, savoring the memories of our special week together, we talked about Orgasmic Birth.  The feelings of surrender, peace, joy and love that we have felt are exactly what is needed to bring us pleasure in birth too.  Take time to feel your body, understand what brings you comfort, calm, love and pleasure and find simple ways to bring this to birth is the beginning of transforming pain to power in childbirth and beyond.

Please share in our comments what tips, techniques, or tools have you used, or will you use, to move from pain to pleasure, to transform you hormones from stress, tension, pain to calm connection, love and pleasure?

Learn how you can join us at Eat Pray Doula this Fall 2014 or Spring 2015!

My journey to Bali began almost 30 years ago when Robin and I began our connection as passionate, young, postpartum doulas. Like many friends who hold a place in our heart, yet our lives take us in different direction, we went years without seeing each other, although I always followed Robin’s amazing work in Bali and felt our connection.

Robin and I both shared a special friendship with amazing midwife, Mary Kroeger. Mary kindled our connections and taught us each so much. Mary taught us both to be a birth warrior with love not anger as anger closes people’s hearts and if we want to transform birth we must open all our hearts. Mary’s transformational book Impact of Birthing Practices on Breastfeeding, with Linda Smith, was the first book that helped us understand- if we want to fix breastfeeding we must fix birth! Mary’s vision of creating an international version of the Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative began the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative where human rights, quality care for MotherBaby and love, bring the care of the Mother along with the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative for breastfeeding together. We continue the IMBCI in Mary’s memory, vision and wisdom as while she is no longer with us, she is always in our hearts

When Mary was passing she knew I loved her purple sarong. She gave it to me and shared that Ibu Robin had giving it to her. She asked me to do 2 things, 1) to chair and continue the IMBCI, and 2) to go to Bali to bring the sarong back to where it came from and reconnect with Robin. What an honor to have two such amazing tasks to do to fulfill her wishes. I have done both.

Coming to Bali the first time 4 years ago, I was not prepared for how much my re-connection with Robin would awaken a deep part of my passion and soul and take me to a place where I now call Bali my home away from home. Together we vision Eat Pray Doula as a way to share the magic of Bali and the wisdom of the birthkeepers with women from around the world. With a vision this big we knew we needed a third partner to birth our dreams. Another midwife Katherine Bramhall. Katherine had trained as a doula with me many years ago; she went on to become a midwife, connected with Robin and is now Chair of the Bumi Sehat Birth Center. The circle felt perfect, Mary working her magic in bringing us together so we can bring others together.

Today as I listen to Katherine teaching that time will heal, I look around our circle into the eyes of our amazing doulas from around the world. I feel the connections that keep growing knowing that reconnecting the circle of women, is the beginning of healing birth, healing women to birth their dreams and visions for their children, families, friends and planet.

On this day, Katherine teaches about breastfeeding after a challenging birth, step #1) “re-establish love.” Love will get the hormones flowing and re-empower the mother regardless of her circumstances. In the Philippines, Indonesia, Haiti and in any areas where there has been natural disaster, we want to protect the sacred time after birth for MotherBaby and must help re-establish love. This special quiet skin-to-skin time is essential in any situation. Dim the lights, create a sense of privacy and intimacy so the MotherBaby breast crawl will happen in it’s own time.

I listen to today’s Eat Pray Doula discussion and think again of Mary, how proud she would be that her knowledge and wisdom is being passed on.  She has connected a circle that grows and grows.

Eat Pray Doula Will you join us at the next EPD Workshop? Are you being called to join the circle of women around the world? We are women, mothers, teachers, acupuncturist, yoga teachers, educators, doulas, midwives, lactation consultants, nurses, grandmothers, sisters, and more. We invite you to join us to birth your dreams in Bali. 

“We know from research that if there is harmony in the team that works together, the health of the mother is better.” – Verena Schmid Cert. Midwife

Verena Schmid, certified midwife; international teacher in Salutophysiology and Salutogenesis in midwifery; founder and director of the international school of Midwifery Art in Florence, Italy and the professional magazine D&D, Donna e Donna; author of professional books for midwives and promoter of self determined, conscious childbirth, project leader of the “Centro Benessere Maternità” in Florence. Verena promotes midwifery within a health paradigm and normal birth on different levels: practical, political, cultural and professional. For this engagement she was awarded by the international award Astrid Limburg in 2000.

In this blog, Roberta shares about her experience on Pleasures of the Amalfi Coast Women’s Retreat

High above the Amalfi coast, I look out on the Mediterranean Sea far below the craggy mountains swiftly descending to meet the blue water. This view from my room and balcony in Le Rocce hotel never fails to make me catch my breath as I stand mesmerized.

I left Montreux with music fans about to gather for the annual Jazz festival. (Estimated 200,000 fans over 16 days.)  Europe’s trains make it easy to get around, and a friend of mine, Debra Pascali-Bonaro, just happened to be hosting a women’s gathering in Agerola, Italy, during that time.

The area around Agerola is called “small Switzerland” for its cultivated terraces stepping down the mountains.  Pumice from the Vesuvius eruption of AD 79 holds moisture in the soil for the many small farms; every house has its own plot for harvesting vegetables each day of the long growing season.  I don’t know anyone who would argue with me when I say that in Italy eating freshly prepared food in quantity daily is a cultural mandate.

The first official day of our women’s week the seven of us sat down to lunch in a small room just off our hotel pool for the following menu served as courses:  deep fried stuffed zucchini flowers, salad, stuffed lamb rolls with a vegetable side, and a fresh fruit mixture for dessert.  Crisp crust bread of course, and wine and sparkling mineral water were our beverages.

When we weren’t eating, we were learning about Agerola, the surrounding countryside, and its people.  One of the famous locals is Paolo Avitabile, a soldier and mercenary in the early 19th century.  He became a colonel in the Persian army, leaving after six years to make more money as a general in the Indian army. He became governor of a territory in Afghanistan in 1834, establishing order with ruthlessness and brutality, it’s reported. He made his fortune advancing money to the British to pay their troops in the British Anglo-Afghan wars. Having thereby transferred much of his wealth back to Europe, he quit his post to return to Agerola and build a castle.  We toured the site of the castle high on a hilltop which Mussolini coveted a century later and leveled to build his own great building.

Coincidentally, as I was walking around one of the hamlets of Agerola, I stopped at a restaurant in the courtyard of the Palazzo Acampora. I talked with the manager who gave me a pamphlet about the Palazzo.  It had the rest of the story about Paolo Avitable.

Join Debra on the Amalfi Coast

Returning to Agerola and building his castle, he also married his much younger and beautiful niece.  She took as her lover, Luigi Acampora. One night General Avitable summoned a friend to tell him he was dying, exclaiming, “They have poisoned me!” referring to his wife and her lover.  The lovers got away with it, married and chose the Palazzo Acampora as their residence.  The locals want me to write a book about the general. The last and only book about him was written in Italian in 1909.

There is magic here in so many ways.  One day we took a leisurely five hour hike to and through the Valle delle Ferriere, Valley of the Fairies State Nature Reserve. Stopping at a plunging waterfall, stripping to our bathing suits and cooling off, we thought we were in heaven. But heaven was up ahead. Following the stream, continuing to see aqueduct ruins, carefully crossing a tree trunk bridge, we were all stunned to silence as we entered an area with cascades of gentle waterfalls from different stream tributaries. The water flowed softly down the mountainsides in many places, looking like thousands of translucent threads.  It felt like a holy place.

In another holy place, the church of Madonna of Loreto, we saw a newly discovered fresco by an unknown artist  from about 1375.  Part of the fresco is a scene of the Last Supper of Jesus, done at least 20 years before Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous version in Milan.  The fresco was discovered while repairs were being made to earthquake loosened plaster covering it on a ceiling in the church. I’m working on the mystery of who the artist is. The church is among several beautiful churches in the Agerola area.  But coincidentally, 475 years after the fresco was painted, the mausoleum of General Avitable was constructed in this same church.

Graziella Coccia, Debra’s cousin through their maternal line, was often with us as our local guide.  She invited us to her home for a luncheon with some of her large extended family.  We learned how to make gnocchi in her kitchen, then watched while her brother-in-law and her 84 year old mom made mozzarella cheese. Green beans freshly picked from their garden and Tiramisu made by her daughters, Angela and Bianca, were some of the other treats we savored.  We all ate at a long table on their patio in the shade of their arbor of ripening kiwi. Graziella’s 82 year old father shared his homemade wine with us.

There is much more: a classical music performance of flute and piano in Ravello; an all day boat ride just for our party along the Amalfi coast, stopping to swim in caves; discovering the best pizza in Italy in Agerola (“Tony” has a trophy to prove it); getting to know my new women friends and being with Debra, my long-time friend; exploring other nearby sites; gelato and more gelato.  From the “biologique” food served with pride and love to the open-hearted welcome of Ageroleans including our van drivers, my stay was a feast of the senses and spirit.  Debra is planning more such trips if any of you women are interested.

Though I enjoyed it, spending the last two days in Florence was a bit of a come down only because there were so many tourists! But nothing can dim the splendor of the art and architecture of Florence.  After the heat and crowds of Florence I was happy to get “home” to my little apartment in Montreux.

Join me for Orgasmic Italy:  Amalfi Coast Women’s Retreat & Tour. Registration opening soon!

“It all began one sunny day on my honey moon in Positano Italy almost 14 years ago.”

Vita Nascita. Life birth. Weather we are birthing new life spiritually to ourselves, or physically (and spiritually) to a new baby- it is always important to nurture ourselves. That is why I am so excited to have 2 workshops in Italy this summer. I love the element of water to enhance our connection to our emotions, it is no surprise that both my summer workshops are near the water.

People know I like to share the best-kept secret, as in our documentary Orgasmic Birth where we share that pleasure in childbirth is not only possible but something we need to talk about. I also love to look at the herstory of childbirth and the herstory of my family roots to Italy.

It all began one sunny day… on my honey moon in Positano Italy almost 14 years ago. My husband and I were driving and saw a sign for the town of Agerola (a-gzher-ola) that I knew was where my great-grandmother was born. We began the windy drive up, up, up to the top of the mountain and found absolutely stunning views of the Mediterranean. We started searching for my family and soon people were helping us and, we found my family!

What a surprise when I found my cousins who still have the home where my great-grandmother was born in. With stories and old photos we have pieced together our family-ties and since then have developed a close bond and deep love for them and the traditions and culture of Agerola. It was amazing story, that still touches my heart today, as I reconnected our family.

That is why this summer I am so excited to share my family and one of my favorite places with an intimate group. I have come to know the many treasures that are hidden in this mountain village and am so looking forward to sharing the pleasures of life, history, art, dance, food and music of Agerola, Italy with others.

My friend Jacqueline is joining us to translate. Family friend, Salvatore, will host us at his Hotel Le Rocce where from one’s room you can look out at the whole coast seeing views of Positano, Amalfi, and the Mediterranean sea below.

At the hotel, I’ll guide us thru some workshops to help us all open up, decompress, revel, and reconnect- vita nascita! We will meet my dear cousin Graziella, who has shown me the many treasures and traditions in this special region and she will help lead the group into town to visit a family friend’s panetteria, the pottery shop, the mozzarella maker, and more. Our driver, Efisio, will take us on special day trips to Amalfi and Ravello and we will walk to Positano via the famous Path of the Gods (and share some secret treasures that only the locals know about!).

So looking forward to the celebrations of life in Campania and to giving birth to the life within us- Vita Nascita, and awakening our inner wisdom! Join me on the Amalfi Coast Women’s Retreat and Tour!

Cold.  White.  Warm.  Pleasure.  Connection.  Nurturing.  Sharing.  Love… These are all words I feel this week co-teaching a doula workshop in Montreal with Rivka Cymbalist, author of The Birth Conspiracy and founder of the Montreal Birth Companions. Being in Montreal is filling me with many emotions since I attended McGill University there, was married there, and gave birth to my first son there. Each street corner brings a flood of memories. Montreal is where I entered the sacred gate of motherhood that led me onto my life journey of bringing information, wisdom and pleasure to all as they prepare for childbirth. While pregnant, I realized I had been blessed with confidence and knowledge from the grandmother’s before me.

In this video Debra shares about her first personal experience with birth, in Montreal.

Yet so many women seemed to have lost their connection to the birth stories and the knowledge held by all the women who have given birth before us. As I navigated the system to claim my power- to birth my son with trust, confidence and pleasure, I felt my body, fill with power and grace. I birthed myself into motherhood, into a strong woman that has now lead to my return to share this knowledge and the many stories from the 1000’s of women I have been blessed to meet and share their birth and/or stories with, who have reclaimed this sacred inner wisdom.

In our doula circle, Rivka asked: “How can a doula maintain a foundation of pleasure for women prenatally and in labor, birth and beyond?” Our group of doulas suggested the following ideas and questions to consider, which can all be used by a doula or partner:

1. Providing access to information, and facilitating informed decision-making. Would you like more information?

2. Women find pleasure when they feel calm and confident.  What helps you feel calm?

3, With food, special foods you enjoy in your culture. What food nourishes you?

4. Touch and hugs. Do you like to be touched? How?

5. Are you happy? A smile can change our hormones and bring more pleasure.

“Prenatal is a time of hope, of looking forward, even if we have conceived in challenging circumstances, there is still an element of hope when pregnant.” Rivka smiles as her wisdom feels so natural and we each understand how a doula can nurture and help a woman prepare for a pleasurable childbirth.

6. Comfort measures in childbirth. I shared that I have a Mary Poppin’s bag full of pleasure tips for comfort in childbirth that I shared with the doulas so they can pass them along.  What comfort options will help you move from pain to pleasure and find comfort in childbirth?

7.  Love her thru labor!

When is the last time you heard I love you?  Share your love. Rivka says she tells women she loves them, she loves watching women in labor, women in labor are the most beautiful! I am reminded of Ina May Gaskin’s quote” If a women in labor does not look like a Goddess you are doing something wrong!”

8. “Don’t just do something, Sit there!” If the birth is going well, respect women for what she is doing.  A laboring women will let you know what she needs if you listen.

9. Do not argue with anyone in the room. Maintain an environment of peace. Be respectful and loving to everyone in the room.

10. Support and respect the partner and the intimacy of the couple.

11. Music: Can create sensuous, intimate feelings and memories. What music or sounds brings you pleasure?

12. Adjust lighting that creates a safe, pleasurable feeling: What type of lighting creates safety and pleasure for you?

13. Breathing: What type of breathing helps you relax?

14. Listen to Women, honor her-story!

15. Support and provide breastfeeding information.

“Breastfeeding is a huge source of pleasure in a women’s life, whatever else is happening in her life, she will find pleasure in the special relationship and bonding that breastfeeding will bring.” – Rivka Cymbalist

16. “Postpartum stay naked in bed. Staying in bed, naked from the waist up with your baby helps restrict unnecessary visitors,” Rivka shares to help mothers to enjoy the sacred babymoon time while others can nurture you, cook for you and care for you and your family.

17. Tenderness: Be Tender to yourself and surround yourself with people who will be tender to you.

18. Next we had the pleasure of a talk from Julie Bonapace who taught us how the three endogenous mechanisms can relieve pain. Rather than try to capture all the great information she shared, look for her guest blog soon that will revolutionize the way you look at finding comfort in childbirth.

19.  Birth is sexual! How can you incorporate and honor your sexuality in childbirth?

Wow, what a great doula list of tips to help every woman and her partner to find pleasure in childbirth and beyond. Please add your tips too, so that we can continue adding to our list of pleasurable birth tips!

Learn more about Montreal Birth Companions or order Rivka’s book, The Birth Conspiracy.

FRIDAY January 31st is the LAST DAY to sign up for Kim Anami’s class- sign up today, don’t miss out!