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Lesson Learned from Birth

by Lauren Williams

I am lucky enough to say that have had Debra as my doula for the birth of all 3 of my kids. I am also lucky enough to call Debra my mentor, cousin and dear friend. In fact, I joke that I want to be so much like her that I had 3 boys just to follow in her shoes.

There are only a few things in life she has recommended that I have not listened carefully to and taken her advice. I can actually only think of two times I may have given her a bit of push back and you may not be surprised to find out they were both when I was in the throws of labor!

The first time I was in deep labor with my first son as Debra sat diligently at my side. I moved into transition, I was overwhelmed, scared and felt very much out of control. In these moments, as many know, it is hard to communicate the deep intensity you feel. At that moment I found the only words I could think of that would express the extreme intensity I was feeling but also have a hint of humor to let her know I was still in there going strong…

I looked Debra straight in the eye, conjuring the few words I could find and said: “This is not orgasmic”.

In true doula fashion she had the right words for me, gently she looked at me and said, “as soon as that baby is in your arms it will be”.

I don’t know that truer words have been spoken to me. Her reminder gave me the motivation to keep going. I often think of that moment when I am attending a birth as a doula. Our orgasmic moment comes to each of us in our own way, often we just have to wait and be open to it. As they placed my son in my arms I remember thinking how right she was, yet again.

The second time I just down-right didn’t listen to my dear cousin was in my second labor.

Labor was slow to start and easy to manage. They with a boom it came on fast and furious. I dilated from 3 cm to holding my son in only 40 minutes.

While I can’t remember much from those 40 minutes other than the intensity, my husband does. He loves to remind me that when Debra was gently trying to get me into the bed and onto my hands and knees, I just stared at her, not taking a step in any direction.

As my husband jokes, I had one of the greatest doulas in the world there with me and I wouldn’t listen to her. In all fairness, I really don’t remember her even speaking, or anyone for that matter but it is kind of funny to think about.

Several years ago Debra introduced me to B-School. Of course, having learned my lesson to take her advice I signed up right away! It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my career. I am a doula, childbirth educator and personal trainer in Denver Colorado. Currently, I am in the process of selling my Yoga studio which I have owned for the last 13 years. Everything we offer is dedicated to women in their childbearing years. We offer prenatal, mommy & me and postpartum Yoga, Childbirth Education and holistic health care practitioners such as massage, Chiropractic, and Acupuncture. B-School was pivotal in me growing my business, helping us create a strong brand and focused goals. B-School has an amazing ability to get you to think of your offerings from the perspective of your client. Which in turn helps you create branding and wording to articulate to your clientele exactly what it is you have to offer. B-School is kind of like a doula for your business.

One of my favorite things about B-School is that when you sign up you get lifetime access to the program. In fact every year I redo B-School with Debra and the amazing team of Childbirth Professionals she has put together (her “Birth Your Dreams Group”). It helps me rethink and refine my marketing, my offerings, and my website.

My family and I are about to move abroad for my husband’s job and I am starting fresh in the next incarnation of my career. As I begin to build my new offerings and ideas I am so very thankful that I have B-School to turn to as a foundation to build from. This is truly one of the best investments I have made as I grow I know B-School is always there to help me grow in a very efficient and articulate way.

I can say that I think I have learned my lesson to listen to Debra when she provides advice! She’s one of those women who just seems to know the right moves to make, be it in childbirth or in business.

About Lauren

Lauren Williams is the mother of 3 young boys, a Birth and Infertility Doula, Childbirth Educator, Personal Trainer and the founder and former owner or Belly Bliss. www.bellybliss.org

About Birth Your Dreams

Lauren is amongst our incredible group of Birth Your Dreams entrepreneurs that have joined Marie Forleo’s B-School and our community.

Marie is offering a free video series for a limited time in February 2020 to get started building your dream business.

Our Birth Your Dreams Community is a special group of birthworkers who have signed up to join B-School via my affiliate link. Together we work through the B-School Marketing Course learning tips for expanding our message and businesses. As Birthworkers, we have our own unique set of goals and ideas, and together we lift each other higher and support one another on our journeys.

B-School helps each of us to continue sharing our message while creating sustainable, healthy businesses.

Interested in learning more? Join my Birth Your Dreams Mailing List for updates on B-School and more blogs from our group.

Yin Birth Retreat

This October 2020, I will be joining my friend, Dr. Claudia Citkovitz an amazing acupuncturist, to teach an extraordinary skill-building and body-spirit nurturing retreat in beautiful Western Massachusetts. This ‘Yin Birth’ retreat is strictly limited to 24 people, and will cultivate the Yin qualities of relaxation and stillness, as well as joy and connection.

Teaching sessions with me and Claudia during the day include acupressure for labor preparation, finding relaxation during birth, a frank discussion on comfort, communication and power, and advanced acupressure and bodywork techniques for obstructed labor.

Equally important, the spacious day’s plan includes optional hiking in the woods, Qigong with Claudia and yoga with Corinne Andrews, creator of the Birthing Mama® training, as well as a fire circle and our own private wood-fired sauna. Hosted by the Sirius community, delicious gluten-free meals and snacks are locally grown and sourced vegetarian with options for paleo/keto. Self-care is also a priority with available acupuncture or bodywork and a nearby hot tub on Sunday night, and optional makeup lesson and headshot on Monday afternoon (who doesn’t need a new headshot, taken after a weekend of relaxation and great company?)

Meet Claudia
Claudia Citkovitz, PhD LAc is an acupuncturist who has taught acupuncture for birth in Brooklyn, NY since 2003, and first took Debra’s doula training class in 2007 where they became fast friends. Since then the two have cross-trained dozens of acupuncturists and doulas, but this is the first time they have taught together. Claudia’s 2009 study of acupuncture during labor and delivery was the first published in the US, as was her 2015 PhD study on acupuncture for stroke rehabilitation. Claudia’s book ‘Acupressure and Acupuncture during Birth’ is available from Amazon or can be ordered at your local bookstore through Singing Dragon Press.

We cannot wait for this luxurious and pleasurable retreat together. If you have any questions feel free to write back to me – and learn more about our retreat here.

Giving Voice to Mothers

My heart breaks reading this new report about mistreatment in childbirth. I have heard too many of these sad stories, and have even been a witness as a doula to abuse during birth. It’s terrible, inhumane, and inexcusable, yet it happens every day. “The Giving Voice to Mothers study: inequity and mistreatment during pregnancy and childbirth in the United States” has striking findings:

“…17.3 percent of women reported experiencing one or more types of mistreatment and percentages were even higher for women of color compared with white women.”– read more

I am grateful to all the people who shared their stories to create a unified voice demanding maternity care to do better. As Maureen Corry said to me years ago:

"statistics are people with the tears washed off making it easier for us to read.”

For each person, their story often goes well beyond the moment of mistreatment and extends for their lifetime because as we know – birth is a day we never forget.

The “Giving Voice to Mothers Study” only further ignites my excitement to be named Co-Chair of the new International Childbirth Initiative (ICI). Learn more about the ICI 12 steps that are moving us in the direction to end mistreatment in childbirth – learn more

Together we can and are making a difference – please share your thoughts on this new study, and join us as we continue to work to improve people experience in childbirth.

bumps boobs birth

Do you know the story of your own birth?

Has it shaped your life choices or feelings about birth, your career or in another way?

Becca, the creatrix behind the newly launched and fantastic, evidence based podcast, Bumps and Boobs said “It’s hard to believe that an experience that you cannot even remember, such as your own birth, can leave a lasting impact on your life.” – read more

Becca’s life choices were greatly influenced by her own birth and the lack of support her mother received when giving birth. Becca went on to become an RN and to work in labor and delivery. “As I began working, I realized that my mom’s story of the doctor who did not believe in her body’s abilities was actually an everyday event.”

I hope you’ll read more of Becca’s birth story and why she “feel[s] called to leave a positive mark in the birthing community, no matter how small.” (we think it’s HUGE Becca!)

Read her story and enjoy Episode 13 of her podcast- of which Becca and I chat all about pleasurable birth!

If Only Everyone Had a Postpartum Doula

If Only Everyone Had a Postpartum Doula : When a baby comes, friends and families don’t always know how to help.

By Zoe Greenberg

Oct. 2, 2018

New parenthood — during which ordinary people find themselves abruptly responsible for a brand-new and sometimes famished, inconsolable being — is famously harrowing.

It’s good to have supportive family and friends during this time. But increasingly, parents are turning to postpartum doulas, as well.

Unlike birth doulas, who assist mothers during pregnancy and childbirth, postpartum doulas step in when the baby is already born, and throughout the first six weeks after birth. They teach the supposedly natural but actually quite difficult to master skills of soothing, bathing and breast-feeding infants, without any personal baggage.

Claiming Your Self-love

I’m excited to share this incredible guest blog from Melissa Ambrosini, the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl and Open Wide, host of the number one podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show, a speaker and self-love teacher.

“There’s so much shame and taboo in society when it comes to sexuality… particularly women’s sexuality.

This kind of shame is deeply ingrained in us — and so embedded in our stories and culture — that even women who are otherwise incredibly conscious can still sometimes find themselves affected by it.

Unfortunately, sexual shame isn’t something that will just ‘go away’ if you ignore it for long enough… in fact, the opposite is true — this ‘spiritual baggage’ can turn toxic if not dealt with.” (Read More)

I couldn’t agree more!

Head on over to my blog to read her top 3 Tips to kickstart your journey to release your shame and embrace your sacred sexuality.

Then share with me how you will begin releasing your shame and claiming your own self-love and sacred sexuality – tweet me @OrgasmicBirth

Maternal Death Inspires Movement

This May marks the 10 Year Anniversary of the release of our Award Winning Documentary Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret. It is such an honor to see our film growing and showing around the world as it continues to inspire conversations about the power and pleasure that is available with a natural childbirth. Orgasmic Birth gives viewers an intimate look at home birth and birth in hospital and how our choices of where and with whom we give birth impacts MotherBaby health and wellbeing. Our film pulls back the curtain on the intimacy, love and sexuality of birth – how birthing with love provides the perfect cocktail of hormones to flow for a safe and gentle birth.

Orgasmic Birth has been translated into Spanish, German, French, Portuguese, Russian, Italian, Polish, Czech, Hebrew, Slovenian, Hungarian, Bulgarian and now in March 2018 into Japanese!

I am always moved when someone wants to translate our film and bring Orgasmic Birth to their own country and community. Each language and country brings it’s unique Her-Story of birth and current culture of birth, denying or embracing pleasure and the sexuality of childbirth as well as a growing reliance of technology vs. respectful, high touch care only using technology as we use a lifeguard – when needed.

I was so moved when Ryoko contacted me about translating Orgasmic Birth into Japanese. I put her in touch with my amazing Japanese friend, doula, nurse and organizer of the first birth doula workshops in Japan – Kiyoe. Before long they were translating and wondering how Orgasmic Birth would find its path in Japan.

Japanese Birth Art

Along came, Eita Segawa, the organizer of the event. He shared his journey to activism as a response to his friends accident years ago, which resulted in partial paralysis, many moments of inspiration, her birth and sadly her maternal death which Eita believes was preventable as so many are. His sadness over her death led him to activism as an artist and birth advocate. His own partner having a medicalized birth with their first child, and then two unassisted home births. Eita went on to create birth cafés around Japan for families to visit and feel safe sharing their birth stories. I’ve been saying for years that parents need such a place to share the transformational, powerful, and transitional moments of birth and parenthood. Eita plans to continue screening Orgasmic Birth all over Japan, and I’m excited to hear more feedback!

Read more about the first Orgasmic Birth screening in Japan and the movement that still continues to spread wordwide.

Have you seen Orgasmic Birth? If not you can watch it now for digital rental or purchase in English, Spanish, French, German or Portuguese!

A True Life Red Tent

Returning to Angelika‘s and her amazing Red Tent Elysia is for me is truly coming to my other home. It has been 14 years and almost 300 doulas which we have offered the doula wisdom to in Austria. Each time I return to the singing, dancing and warm cozy womb like room that invites us each to calm, connection and to share our stories of the joys and challenges of life and birth I feel transformed.

Jaqueline our amazing translator and friend joins us and the three of us quickly share the events in our lives and our families since the last time we were together. In 14 years we have shared births, losses, family challenges, joys and many orgasmic moments as our deep friendship crosses culture and language to a connection of our hearts and minds. With our friendship ready for the next group and next phase our lives we welcome the doulas into the red tent and begin 3 transformative days – inviting each person to explore their her-story, their beliefs about childbirth, to share their experience with birth both as a mother and how they were born. With tears of joy and healing tears of release – all together we move and share our passion for birth and to unconditionally support women and their partners as we create safe, satisfying gentle births filled with pleasure and love!

I am already looking forward to next time when I return to Elysia in Austria with Angelika and Jaqueline in June 2017 for two doula workshops, I hope you will join us at one or enjoy the Austrian Doula choirs birth and circle songs and sing along with us.

Please see my schedule for upcoming workshops and dates around the world.

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by Lauren Williams

About Lauren

About Birth Your Dreams

"statistics are people with the tears washed off making it easier for us to read.”

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