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Giving Voice to Mothers

My heart breaks reading this new report about mistreatment in childbirth. I have heard too many of these sad stories, and have even been a witness as a doula to abuse during birth. It’s terrible, inhumane, and inexcusable, yet it happens every day. “The Giving Voice to Mothers study: inequity and mistreatment during pregnancy and childbirth in the United States” has striking findings:

“…17.3 percent of women reported experiencing one or more types of mistreatment and percentages were even higher for women of color compared with white women.”– read more

I am grateful to all the people who shared their stories to create a unified voice demanding maternity care to do better. As Maureen Corry said to me years ago:

"statistics are people with the tears washed off making it easier for us to read.”

For each person, their story often goes well beyond the moment of mistreatment and extends for their lifetime because as we know – birth is a day we never forget.

The “Giving Voice to Mothers Study” only further ignites my excitement to be named Co-Chair of the new International Childbirth Initiative (ICI). Learn more about the ICI 12 steps that are moving us in the direction to end mistreatment in childbirth – learn more

Together we can and are making a difference – please share your thoughts on this new study, and join us as we continue to work to improve people experience in childbirth.

bumps boobs birth

Do you know the story of your own birth?

Has it shaped your life choices or feelings about birth, your career or in another way?

Becca, the creatrix behind the newly launched and fantastic, evidence based podcast, Bumps and Boobs said “It’s hard to believe that an experience that you cannot even remember, such as your own birth, can leave a lasting impact on your life.” – read more

Becca’s life choices were greatly influenced by her own birth and the lack of support her mother received when giving birth. Becca went on to become an RN and to work in labor and delivery. “As I began working, I realized that my mom’s story of the doctor who did not believe in her body’s abilities was actually an everyday event.”

I hope you’ll read more of Becca’s birth story and why she “feel[s] called to leave a positive mark in the birthing community, no matter how small.” (we think it’s HUGE Becca!)

Read her story and enjoy Episode 13 of her podcast- of which Becca and I chat all about pleasurable birth!

If Only Everyone Had a Postpartum Doula

If Only Everyone Had a Postpartum Doula : When a baby comes, friends and families don’t always know how to help.

By Zoe Greenberg

Oct. 2, 2018

New parenthood — during which ordinary people find themselves abruptly responsible for a brand-new and sometimes famished, inconsolable being — is famously harrowing.

It’s good to have supportive family and friends during this time. But increasingly, parents are turning to postpartum doulas, as well.

Unlike birth doulas, who assist mothers during pregnancy and childbirth, postpartum doulas step in when the baby is already born, and throughout the first six weeks after birth. They teach the supposedly natural but actually quite difficult to master skills of soothing, bathing and breast-feeding infants, without any personal baggage.

Claiming Your Self-love

I’m excited to share this incredible guest blog from Melissa Ambrosini, the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl and Open Wide, host of the number one podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show, a speaker and self-love teacher.

“There’s so much shame and taboo in society when it comes to sexuality… particularly women’s sexuality.

This kind of shame is deeply ingrained in us — and so embedded in our stories and culture — that even women who are otherwise incredibly conscious can still sometimes find themselves affected by it.

Unfortunately, sexual shame isn’t something that will just ‘go away’ if you ignore it for long enough… in fact, the opposite is true — this ‘spiritual baggage’ can turn toxic if not dealt with.” (Read More)

I couldn’t agree more!

Head on over to my blog to read her top 3 Tips to kickstart your journey to release your shame and embrace your sacred sexuality.

Then share with me how you will begin releasing your shame and claiming your own self-love and sacred sexuality – tweet me @OrgasmicBirth

Maternal Death Inspires Movement

This May marks the 10 Year Anniversary of the release of our Award Winning Documentary Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret. It is such an honor to see our film growing and showing around the world as it continues to inspire conversations about the power and pleasure that is available with a natural childbirth. Orgasmic Birth gives viewers an intimate look at home birth and birth in hospital and how our choices of where and with whom we give birth impacts MotherBaby health and wellbeing. Our film pulls back the curtain on the intimacy, love and sexuality of birth – how birthing with love provides the perfect cocktail of hormones to flow for a safe and gentle birth.

Orgasmic Birth has been translated into Spanish, German, French, Portuguese, Russian, Italian, Polish, Czech, Hebrew, Slovenian, Hungarian, Bulgarian and now in March 2018 into Japanese!

I am always moved when someone wants to translate our film and bring Orgasmic Birth to their own country and community. Each language and country brings it’s unique Her-Story of birth and current culture of birth, denying or embracing pleasure and the sexuality of childbirth as well as a growing reliance of technology vs. respectful, high touch care only using technology as we use a lifeguard – when needed.

I was so moved when Ryoko contacted me about translating Orgasmic Birth into Japanese. I put her in touch with my amazing Japanese friend, doula, nurse and organizer of the first birth doula workshops in Japan – Kiyoe. Before long they were translating and wondering how Orgasmic Birth would find its path in Japan.

Japanese Birth Art

Along came, Eita Segawa, the organizer of the event. He shared his journey to activism as a response to his friends accident years ago, which resulted in partial paralysis, many moments of inspiration, her birth and sadly her maternal death which Eita believes was preventable as so many are. His sadness over her death led him to activism as an artist and birth advocate. His own partner having a medicalized birth with their first child, and then two unassisted home births. Eita went on to create birth cafés around Japan for families to visit and feel safe sharing their birth stories. I’ve been saying for years that parents need such a place to share the transformational, powerful, and transitional moments of birth and parenthood. Eita plans to continue screening Orgasmic Birth all over Japan, and I’m excited to hear more feedback!

Read more about the first Orgasmic Birth screening in Japan and the movement that still continues to spread wordwide.

Have you seen Orgasmic Birth? If not you can watch it now for digital rental or purchase in English, Spanish, French, German or Portuguese!

A True Life Red Tent

Returning to Angelika‘s and her amazing Red Tent Elysia is for me is truly coming to my other home. It has been 14 years and almost 300 doulas which we have offered the doula wisdom to in Austria. Each time I return to the singing, dancing and warm cozy womb like room that invites us each to calm, connection and to share our stories of the joys and challenges of life and birth I feel transformed.

Jaqueline our amazing translator and friend joins us and the three of us quickly share the events in our lives and our families since the last time we were together. In 14 years we have shared births, losses, family challenges, joys and many orgasmic moments as our deep friendship crosses culture and language to a connection of our hearts and minds. With our friendship ready for the next group and next phase our lives we welcome the doulas into the red tent and begin 3 transformative days – inviting each person to explore their her-story, their beliefs about childbirth, to share their experience with birth both as a mother and how they were born. With tears of joy and healing tears of release – all together we move and share our passion for birth and to unconditionally support women and their partners as we create safe, satisfying gentle births filled with pleasure and love!

I am already looking forward to next time when I return to Elysia in Austria with Angelika and Jaqueline in June 2017 for two doula workshops, I hope you will join us at one or enjoy the Austrian Doula choirs birth and circle songs and sing along with us.

Please see my schedule for upcoming workshops and dates around the world.

Bali: Blessing the Way

As I arrive in Bali, the change in climate is the first things to touch me, walking out of the airport the warm humid air caresses my skin and the sea of smiles of people waiting to welcome each person to Bali, feels so different already. As we are driving art, statues, and scooters are everywhere. The 1 1/2 hour drive from the airport to the beautiful village of Nyuh Kuning, is like a mental massage, my whole being relaxes, the cultures and pace of Bali begin to allow me to release and reflect on all I am leaving behind and all I hope to welcome and transform as Bali for me is always about transformation.

Arriving the the small, clean, green village of Nyuh Kuning my home in Bali always feels special. Each person welcomes you with a big smile and it’s not forced or fake, the Balinese smile with their heart and it will touch yours. My bed is covered in flowers as this tropical island gives us beauty all around and it’s even captured in the towels folded into a beautiful swan.

Relaxing & savoring Eat Pray Doula memories by the pool at Pelangi estate.

Soon the sounds of Bali – the Gamelan begin as it’s approaching Nyepi – the Balinese New Year and preparations are under ways to prepare for Ogoh Ogoh night, where giant statues are paraded thru the streets, the Gamelan band will play and all the evil spirits will be ushered away, it a time to reflect on what you need to release and replace as Nyepi the day following is a day of silent meditation and prayer. I love these traditions and rituals and each year Eat Pray Doula allows you to arrive early or stay late depending on which workshop you will attend to enjoy this colorful, traditional festival and make it your own time for reflection and rest.

I have purchased a sarong, Kebiah and sash as anyone is welcomed into their Hindu temple ceremonies if you wear traditional dress and are not on you menstrual moon and/or grieving. Ceremonies are blessings that include blessing with flowers, rice, incense and water. The Balinese is a culture of acceptance, and any religion or beliefs are welcome. You are invited to pray with them to your Divine and in your way as long as you honor theirs. If you would like to enjoy temple ceremony be sure to bring a t-shirt that covers your shoulders, a light scarf you can tie around your waist and we will be giving you a sarong or you might enjoy shopping at the market in Ubud for your own sarong and if you pick material you can have a kebaih made to fit in just a few hours, something I wear to nice dinners and events at home as they are so beautiful!

I was invited this year to my friend Congtit’s family ceremony to bless their new home and temple. Each family compound has it’s own temple. Each ceremony is started in the family temple and this day we go to their current home to their family temple to gather the spirit of the ancestors who are here and invite them to join us at the new temple. The older women chant for almost an hour as the priest goes into trance with his own chants and ringing of the bell, and different members take turns doing their blessings with flower, incense, water and rice. Although I don’t understand the words, I feel the sacredness and connect with my own ancestors. The women welcome me to sit with them, huddling close and the language of our heart makes me feel completely welcomed.

When this ceremony at the old family temple is over the women gather their baskets of fruit and flowers as offering onto their head to process to the next temple, followed by the village Gamalon and the family. I join them in walking thru the village to the temple of the deceased – the ancetory’s ground for more blessings form the village/family priest. After a shorter time here we process again to the river temple. more blessings and offerings and then onto the families new home. The Gamalon settles in the shade, the local priest blesses the ground and a high priest from a far away village has joined us and ascends to his seat high in the temple to begin his chanting, bell ringing, and prayers that look like a trance. The family and friend gathered begin a celebration, great food for all and soon men dressed in Balinese costumes with traditional masks entertain us, making everyone smile and laugh. this ancient tradition is to bring song, music, dance and happiness to the new home. The village has come out for this day to bless this new home for Congtit’s aunt and uncle.

I was not able to join them the day before but that too had been a full day ceremony with Ganesha to remove any obstacles from the new Temple, and today the second day to bring in all they would like here. Two days of processions, praying at the village and home temples. I think about when we move home, when we have life events, what does our village and family do? How do we honor and celebrate life changes. I am humbled with the connection each person has to not only each other but how the past is honored to move to the present, and the value of joy, happiness, connection and love. My saying we birth the way we live, makes me think we need more rituals in our everyday life, or ways to come together and honor or past, remove our obstacles before we move forward.

I invite you to not only join me, Ibu Robin and Katherine for Eat Pray Doula, but maybe like me to learn about a new culture, to reflect within on what you would like to release and what you would like to bring forward to birth and life and give yourself the gift of nurturing your mind, body and spirit in Bali with us. I hope you will consider enjoying Ogoh Ogoh day and the silence of Nyepi to be a part of an ancient Balinese ceremony and at night on Nyepi when the island is dark, no lights, no car, no planes, make sure to look up at the night sky where you will see more stars than ever in your life, it’s as if you can reach up and touch them. I take time to lay outside and dream.

P.S. Another way to nurture you body and spirt is with Balinese massage. Massages in Bali are incredible and so reasonable – and if you enjoy a head massage and hair washing you must check out Cantika or for a more expensive massage in a magical location visit Taksu Spa. We will arrange massage therapist to visit our villa every day after our Eat Pray Doula workshop so you can book massages by the pool waterfall or in your room.

Join me, Ibu Robin and Ibu Katherine in Bali next year to experience for yourself and see the new Bumi Sehat Birth Center! Birth Doula Workshop and Advanced Birthworker Workshop are both are taking early registration now at www.eatpraydoula.com.

Mother Nature, Father Time, Birth and Life!

Imagine the sunshine, a hot breeze with a sweet smell brushing your skin, the sounds of the Balinese Gamelan in the distance and tropical trees and sounds of monkeys and frogs providing you a chorus of nature’s’ bounty. Within the vibrant feel of nature you have arrived to a sisterhood, circle of women who share your passion for gentle birth. Far from home, from many different lands and cultures you settle in with them and begin to share your stories. Being so far from home takes you deeper into your story, feeling safe to share your joys as well as your pain and your challenges as this gentle space holds them all, without judgement but with love and connection.

It’s hard to find the words to explain what I feel as one of the teachers or as I like to say facilitators of the Eat Pray Doula – Bali workshops. This was our first advanced birth worker workshop and my wild trip there again reminded me of all the reasons why I love birth. [Tweet “Life (like birth) – is unexpected, and we never know what will be asked of us or how long the journey will be.”] I had planned my normal trip flying from Newark to Japan with a short layover, and then on to Singapore, with a few hours to enjoy the airport in the middle of the night and an early morning flight to Bali – over 30 hours of travel, but predictable. Doing this 4 times before I even knew where I wanted to get sushi in Narida airport. But birth is never predictable and so as I waited on the airplane at Newark for an hour with news our plane had a flat tire, I thought ok a slightly longer labor but all was fine. Oh…we are going to get off as things are going to take longer than expected. Another hour and we boarded again, ok my connection will be tight, no sushi in Japan but it should be fine. Relax. Sitting yet again, NO- we must get off again and move to another plane at another gate. I could feel my heart pick up with worry that I would not make my connections and what would happen? At the new gate I patiently waited and then came the news I had never dreamed of. Your flight is cancelled! We don’t know when you can fly, contact an agent and see what they can do for you. 200 people rushing the desk to book new flights. I sat and decided to call instead of standing and reached an airline agent quickly to learn there was no way to get on my planned flights for days. There must be a way I said. Can you travel another way? I could go to Shanghai and from there to Singapore to Bali. I spent a whole day and no progress at all, the good news I could go home and enjoy a wonderful sushi dinner with my husband Jimi and another night together and then I would do it all again tomorrow.

Landing in Shanghai was new to me. A far away land I had never imagined I would find myself in. The process to switch to Singapore airlines was not easy and I felt nervous that I could not navigate it, would I find my luggage and have time to wait in line to check in and make my gate in time. I stopped to breathe deeply, I calmed myself and proceeded thru. My Singapore flight was delayed an hour, so all the rushing was not needed and I could sit at the gate and relax. I arrived to Singapore a familiar airport, knowing I was close. I would arrive one day later than planned but would still have 36 hours before our Eat Pray Doula workshop would begin to settle in and prepare with Ibu Robin and Ibu Katherine. I found a little airport cabin to rest in, rented by the hour. I had a bed and shower for 4 hours which felt like heaven after 20 hours of travel. Feeling refreshed I headed to my gate, cleared security and we were ready to board. Bali here I come, I was already dreaming of being met at the airport by Pagi or Pastika from Bumi Sehat, how wonderful it would be to see their smiling faces!

The PA system, are we boarding? NO NO NO, they are canceling my flight. Two flights cancelled in the same trip. What? A volcano on the nearby Island of Lombok is erupting and the ash is making it too dangerous to fly. The Depansar airport is closed. The next thing that happened calmed me so much. Instead of how United Airlines had created panic and a chaotic rush to the counter, Singapore said don’t worry. Please stay seated we are going to take care of you! We will call you up by rows and provide you with a taxi to a hotel that we will pay for, all your meals and as soon as the airport opens we will bring you back and get you to Bali. They were calm, they were doulaing us thru the change. I waited patiently received my vouchers, printed hotel name and address and headed out to reclaim my luggage. I knew I could choose to see this as a problem or to find pleasure in this change. I choose pleasure and stopped at a store and asked for their best dark chocolate. I purchased it, opened it and took a bite. I chose pleasure and smiled. This re-framing let me say mother nature has a plan that is greater than me, so let me make the best of it and enjoy it. I am grateful to be safe. I sent messages to the two birth keepers I have come to know in Singapore, Ginny Phang another DONA doula trainer and Red Miller a Midwife and hypnobirthing instructor. Ginny quickly offered her home, to meet for dinner and anything I needed… she too was my doula there for support and Red chimed in too. I was safe!

I arrived to a nice hotel and in the taxi line met Lori and Miriam from Sacred Doula and Sacred Midwife on their way to Bali too for their workshop. We smiled and I found even more comfort finding I had two more companions on this new adventure. By putting us all at the same hotel Singapore airlines put an agent in the lobby to answer our questions and keep us updates on the volcano. They reassured us they would bring us to Bali as soon as they could. The people came together, rather than random passengers on a plane, people were talking, going out to explore Singapore and even look at traveling to other destinations for those who were on holiday and were not committed to Bali. I was thrilled to have another bed and after a nap went downtown to meet Ginny for dinner. What a treat to meet her again!

On the next morning Miriam, Lori and I walked to a local mall and had massages, heavily and painful, yes Pain and Pleasure can happen at the same time! He dug in, working all the knots out of my shoulders from sitting and traveling – it was now Thursday and I had begun my travels on Sunday! We returned to the hotel for updates and they let us know they were providing us another night hotel and would hold a 2PM update meeting once they had news from Bali. We all gathered and the Singapore representatives said we have good news, the winds changed and we can go… be in the lobby with you luggage at 4PM. Yeah! I went to pack and walked into the lobby where representatives organized us on to 3 buses, whisked us to the airport where they had opened many counters just for our flight so they checked us in quickly, thru security and boarding and off to Bali – yes in the air at 6PM. The most efficient – gently, respectful, pleasurable process with smiles and care. When we touched down in Bali the whole plane cheered and clapped. Mother Nature had delayed us, but Singapore Airlines had doulaed us and gave us an opportunity that led to new friendships, time to explore Singapore and Ibu Katherine and Ibu Robin had reorganized the schedule to allow me time to settle before teaching. They created the “Eat Pray Doula ~ Volcano Eruption Schedule : Welcome EPDoulas… The best thing about being BirthKeepers is the fact that we can be and must be flexible. Babies come when they are ready, and apparently so do Volcanoes! Airplanes on the other hand, come when Mother Nature and Father Time make space.”

I had been gently reminded of my own saying “we birth the way we live”! I had traveled 5 days to arrive here, significantly longer than I had “planned”. The process of delays gave me a special dinner with my husband, a chance to land in China a land when I was young I could never have dreamed of going, to enjoy a dinner with Ginny, to meet the Sacred Doulas- Lori and Miriam, to enjoy some awesome dark chocolate and have a painful, pleasurable massage and still arrive in time to begin Day 1 of our workshop. Each of the doulas had a story of arriving in Bali and dancing with the volcano’s energy in some way. These stories lead to many life and birth stories. Sharing a passion for birth each group forms a bond that no words can explain. Nurturing each other, taking much needed time to nurture ourselves, massages, the magic of Bali, the heat, the pool, the water temple, cleansing and blessing. I laughed, cried, learned, stretched and as Jordan so well said was transformed – we each grew or strengthened our wings, recharged, healed, were inspired, and connected. I am returning home ready to go deeper in spreading a message of love, pleasure and possibilities with a larger and ever growing circle of sisters- with overflowing gratitude for the gift of mother nature and father time and for each day we walk together.

Join us in Bali for our next Eat Pray Doula gathering for a life – changing, workshop/vacation of a life-time! Give yourself the gift that will keep on giving for years to come.

(What are you waiting for? It’ s a write off and holidays are coming, this is the perfect holiday gift)

[Tweet “Share your EPD Bali or other adventures and how – Life is like birth”]….Tweet @OrgasmicBirth

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"statistics are people with the tears washed off making it easier for us to read.”

Join me, Ibu Robin and Ibu Katherine in Bali next year to experience for yourself and see the new Bumi Sehat Birth Center! Birth Doula Workshop and Advanced Birthworker Workshop are both are taking early registration now at www.eatpraydoula.com.

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