• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Debra Pascali-Bonaro

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

  • ABOUT
    • ABOUT DEBRA
    • START HERE
    • OUR TEAM
    • PRAISE
    • GIVE BACK
  • SCHEDULE
    • ALL EVENTS
    • DONA DOULA WORKSHOPS
      • BIRTH DOULA WORKSHOPS
      • POSTPARTUM DOULA WORKSHOPS
    • RETREATS
      • EAT PRAY DOULA
      • PRENATAL EDUCATION
    • ADVANCED SKILLS WORKSHOPS
    • CONFERENCES
    • INVITE DEBRA TO SPEAK
    • DOULA SCHOLARSHIPS
  • ONLINE DOULA TRAINING
  • CHILDBIRTH EDUCATION
  • PRODUCTS
    • FILMS
      • EDUCATIONAL LICENSE
    • BOOKS
    • COACHING
    • PRODUCTS WE LOVE
  • BLOG
    • ORGASMIC BIRTH
    • BIRTH STORIES
      • Share your Story
    • PLEASURE
    • DOULAS
    • PARENTING
    • INNER WISDOM
  • CONTACT

In Your Voice

Marcy’s Tips for Healing Birth Trauma

Submitted by Marcy Stevens Sauter IBCLC, PCD (DONA)

“Working with women on a daily basis, I have found that my story is not uncommon. Birthing women are very vulnerable, period. Most cultures are not sensitive to the needs of birthing women, especially here in North America where I reside.”

______________________________________

imageOn a recent trip to Bali, I attended a birth doula training that was taught by DONA trainer Debra Pascali-Bonaro. My intentions were not primarily geared to becoming certified, they were more to discover and attain birth healing for myself. After carrying a load of birth trauma for decades, my focus was to find peace for my heart and soul once and for all. The simplicity of being in the community of other women was very healing. Their non-judgmental company and listening ears made a huge impact on me. I needed the community of women to advance me on my journey.

Without going into the gory details of the traumas I experienced as a birthing woman, I have found that I am not alone in my quest for healing. Working with women on a daily basis, I have found that my story is not uncommon. Birthing women are very vulnerable, period. Most cultures are not sensitive to the needs of birthing women, especially here in North America where I reside.

Perhaps I was naive to think that I would be a hostess of the perfect birthing woman. My plan was to have my babies without any intervention. I imagined myself as a warrior woman whose body sustained life for 9 months to the growing baby and would continue to sustain him/her with my warm milk that my body produced. Far from it! With all four of my pregnancies, I think I had every intervention known to medical science. Despite successful breastfeeding, I still felt like a failure!

The good news here is this: there are women who experience great birthing outcomes. I’ve met them, I’ve worked with them! It gives me hope for future generations that birth will be esteemed, and it lights a fire under my feet to continue the work that I do as a postpartum doula, and IBCLC.

So what next? What will you do if you find yourself in a position like I have been in? A place where you find yourself with disappointment or depression due to unattained goals as a birthing woman.

Here’s my advice:

1. Find that community of women that will nurture you. Seek out the women in your community that are doulas, midwives, massage therapists, moms, grandmas, aunts, sisters, childbirth educators, lactation consultants, librarians, cashiers, WOMEN! There is so much we women can offer each other that is not tapped in to. Encompass yourself with the wisdom of other women, it can be healing.

2. Don’t wait for years on end to find healing! I waited for years, and the trauma manifested itself into depression and anxiety. Seek out mental health professionals that specialize in Post Trauma Stress Disorders. This step may help you avoid carrying around extra baggage of disappointment. It might be necessary, even with the community of women, to seek professional help. There are mental health issues that might need to be addressed that a specialized healthcare provider can treat.

3. Don’t blame your baby! If I was really honest with myself, at the time I gave birth, I would have to say that on a sub-conscience level, I put partial blame on my children as if they had something to do with the outcome. What a terrible load to put on an innocent baby! If you find yourself having difficulties in connecting with your infant, try wearing your baby and continue breastfeeding, which are instrumental  for both baby and mama to heal the possible disconnect that the dyad may feel after having a difficult or disappointing birth.

4. If you are pregnant, educate yourself about childbirth interventions, beforehand. I have observed that many women I’ve worked with, that have had positive birth outcomes are ones that opened themselves up to learn about the pros and cons of possible medical interventions.

In the event that you are hoping to have a non/low intervention birth, I recommend reading one or more of the following books:

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper, Suzanne Arms
The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth (Revised) by Sheila Kitzinger
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf
Orgasmic Birth Guide  by Debra Pascali-Bonaro and Elizabeth Davis

And viewing the following videos/dvd’s:

Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret
Business of Being Born
Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and The Farm Midwives

In closing, it took me decades to finally leave a good portion of emotional turmoil, sustained by birth trauma, that I carried around for way too long.

I was privileged to attend two births of local Balinese women at Bumi Sehat, a birth Center in Ubud, where Robin Lim practices. These laboring moms were surrounded by the circle of women, which empowered them through their labor. I’ve decided to attend births as a birth doula a few times per year, here in the USA. In the meantime, I will use my skills and personal experience to help heal the hearts of women that have experienced birth trauma/disappointment.

Learn more about Gentle Birth Practices in Debra’s Pain to Power online childbirth experience.

PageLines- OBirthEclassWEBLOGO.jpg

image-1

Marcy Stevens Sauter is an IBCLC and PCD (DONA) with her company Rest Assured Postpartum Doula Care serving greater Orange County, CA and Los Angeles County, CA.
Tweet

Secret Pleasures of the Uterus

orgasmic_650

by Dr. Eve Agee

The uterus…it’s our first home, a place of safety and security.  Yet did you know that this vital female organ can also be a key source of sensuality and ecstasy for women?  Even though in the West we don’t frequently associate the uterus with sexual satisfaction, many ancient cultures celebrate the sensual gifts of the uterus and recognize it as one of the main pleasure centers of our female bodies.

For many women, it may take a shift in the way we relate to the uterus to open up to the sexual rewards it can give us.  From a physiological standpoint, during vaginal stimulation or sex (with yourself or a partner), the uterus enlarges and elevates with every phase of sexual response. This can generate wonderful satisfying sensations for women and full-on uterine orgasms in some.  Even researchers describe uterine orgasms as “earth shattering” and profoundly emotional.

pregnant-woman-relaxing

These mind-blowing surges of pure bliss often occur when there is a strong emotional connection such as a intense intimate bond with a partner or during the birth of a child.  At least thirty percent of all women in scientific studies have blended or g-spot orgasms, which are a combination of clitoral and uterine orgasms.  At home away from the sterile laboratory settings the numbers are probably much, much higher.

For women wanting to find new ways to relate to the uterus for vibrant pregnancy, childbirth or lifelong sexual health, it can be helpful to get in touch with the energy of the uterus to expand ecstasy and awareness.  To do so (or to help clients do this) it’s important to create the freedom to explore what feels good to our bodies in a safe comfortable setting.  This may not involve a partner at first but rather taking time with yourself to play around with what it’s like to experience pleasurable sensations in the uterine area.

You can start to get in touch with your uterine energy to expand ecstasy your pleasure by making a few minutes everyday to connect with your womb space.  Wear loose comfortable clothing and find a quiet place you can recline or lie down where you will not be disturbed.   Close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply into the pelvic core and imagine or intend that you can connect with your uterus.  Silently or out loud, say hello to your uterus, like you might greet a beloved friend. Breathe deep long breaths in and out through your nose as you focus your awareness on your uterus. Place one hand on the lower abdomen and caress, stroke, or move your hand in slow circles around the lower part of your belly over the uterine area.

Begin to imagine a rich orange or golden light flowing to the uterus, filling it with love and tenderness.  You may also want to envision or sense the uterus pulsating in ways that bring you pleasure while breathing deeply into your womb.   With every breath, feel your uterus starting to fill with satisfying sensations and delight.  Continue this exploration for as long as you would like, acknowledging that regularly taking time to imagine your uterus flowing with waves of pleasure will help you heighten sexual ecstasy.  When you complete your practice, thank your uterus and your body for all the blessings they give you.

Remember that you can connect with your uterus anytime throughout your day by placing your hand over it, receiving a deep breath and feeling gratitude for all that does for you.  Just like any relationship, the more positive attention and love you give to your uterus (and all of your body), the more delight you receive in return.   Approach this process with a light heart and have fun with it. Taking the time to explore the secret pleasures of our uterine energy can bring many gifts to enjoy–for a lifetime.   Please post any insights or questions that came to you while reading this post below–we would love to hear from you.

orgasmic_650_____________________________

 

Image 18_2_2Dr. Eve Agee is an international bestselling author, medical anthropologist, women’s health expert, and Founder of the Transform Coaching Academy.   Her best-selling book, The Uterine Health Companion: A Holistic Guide to Lifelong Wellness (Random House), is the winner of the International Book Awards.

Eve has served as a White House expert, taught at the University of Virginia, and researched women’s healing throughout the world. She is the co-founder of the Hot Flash Mob and her work has been featured on NBC, Fox, BBC, iTV, Fox and NPR.  You can learn more about Dr. Eve’s programs at www.eveagee.com.

Tweet

Protecting the Normal: Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers

Submitted by: Emily C. Taylor, MPC, IHI-IA, LCCE, CD(DONA)

Founder and Director of WISE (Women-Inspired Systems’ Enrichment)

Hendricks StS Skin to SkinAccording to the Oxford English Dictionary, normal means “Serving to establish a standard.  Of natural occurrence.  The usual, typical or expected state or condition.”  Rarely does this definition apply as precisely as it does to breastfeeding.  Let’s break that definition down: 1) it is, indeed, the standard by which all other methods of feeding a human infant are judged.  (Can’t you hear the formula ads proudly proclaiming, “Our closest even to breastmilk!”?)  2) Much like other natural occurrences, even the 93 chemical elements, breastfeeding is at its finest without artificial aid.  And, 3) the flow of milk from mother to child can safely be expected to transpire.

When then, if breastfeeding is so normal, do we insist on asking women “Do you plan to breastfeed?”  And, why, do so many women respond, “I’d like to try?”  As a doula, a childbirth educator, a Baby-Friendly Hospital expert, and as a woman, I’m sad to say it’s because well-intended “supporters” among us treat breastfeeding as if it is the exception.  Therefore, it is up to us to protect the normal until this paradigm shifts.  Here are three suggestions for mothers, birth workers, or anyone who wishes to don their super-heroes cape and protect the normal:

1)     Be smarter than the advertising.  Better yet, avoid it altogether… Denounce it!  In a recent study I published with my esteemed colleagues, we found that women’s confidence in their ability to breastfeed decreased remarkably after viewing a few common advertisements.  Before reviewing the ads, women decreed that mothers’ milk was best; after the ads, they wondered whether their own milk would meet their babies’ ever-changing needs.  I don’t care how beneficent these advertisements appear: They serve their purpose of getting women to use the products.

So, what can you do?  Ask your local hospitals and providers if they are compliant with the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes.  If so, they refrain from distributing formula company advertising.  If not, ask them to do so.   (Hospitals can register with www.banthebags.org to show their solidarity with the thousands of other hospitals who have signed on.  (Massachusetts and Rhode Island are bag-free states!)  If they won’t do it, tell everyone you know to leave those bags (or “educational materials” or coupons) behind.

2)     Go “Baby-Friendly”!  The Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative is designed to give mothers and babies the optimal environment in which to start breastfeeding.  Staff is trained to provide evidence-based support on infant feeding, mothers are encouraged to hold their babies skin-to-skin, and to room-in continuously.  Only 6% of hospitals in the US are designated as Baby-Friendly.   But, you can make your own “Baby-Friendly” by requesting the practices for yourself and those you are serving.  Set the expectation: “The baby will be going skin-to-skin immediately after birth, and will stay there through at least the first feed.”  “The baby and mother will be rooming-in so they have an opportunity to practice baby-led feeding, and get to know each other with the support of the hospital staff.”  And, of course, stay close if you’re at home or a birth center, too!

3)     Learn about how the Affordable Care Act protects working mothers’ rights to breastfeed.  The ACA amends the Fair Labor Standards Act to require break time and a private place for hourly workers to nurse or express milk.  Employers sometimes need a bit of guidance about their role in protecting the normal.  Mothers and birth workers can (educate themselves and) point employers to the Division of Labor and the Office on Women’s Health.  A house bill called “Supporting Working Moms Act” is currently before the House of Representatives.  It seeks to expand ACA’s requirements to all employers.  Track S.934 so that you are ready to support it when its day arrives.

Above all, remind yourself that breastfeeding IS normal, and that like most things in this day and age, normal needs protecting.

Happy National Breastfeeding Month!

[Birth workers: If you would like to read more about protecting breastfeeding, check out our new book, Achieving Exclusive Breastfeeding: Translating Research into Action (Clinics in Human Lactation), by Labbok, Taylor or Parry, 2013.]

Also, see what the Surgeon General has to say on the matter by reading her Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding.

 

 headshot2Emily C. Taylor, MPC, IHI-IA, LCCE, CD(DONA), Achieving Exclusive Breastfeeding: Translating Research into Action (Clinics in Human Lactation), by Labbok, Taylor or Parry, 2013 is also Founder and Director of WISE (Women-Inspired Systems’ Enrichment).

 

For Debra’s Pleasurable weekly enews subscribe here.

Tweet

Zero Separation MotherBaby with Dr. Nils Bergman

Submitted by: Rachel Connolly-Kwock

Originally published June 12, 2012

Skin-to-Skin ContactAs Orgasmic Birth’s Debra Pascali-Bonaro travels all over advocating human rights in childbirth we had some advocacy right in NJ, USA with Dr. Nils Bergman’s Skin-to-Skin, It’s What’s in . . . the Evidence, the Research and the Literature at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital’s 7th Annual Breastfeeding Conference at the New Jersey Hospital Association in Princeton.

Dr. Nils Bergman spend about 7 hours working on convincing a room full of birth professionals of the many things of and related to skin-to-skin contact, breastfeeding, and the “buffering protection of adult support” required for the baby to go thru its “needed neural processes” and develop properly in a safe, warm, reassuring environment – in the light of the mother’s body. It was almost comedic – here was Dr. Bergman speaking to a room full of 80% nurses with a sprinkling of doctors, midwives, lactation consultants, and doulas trying to convince us here in NJ, a state with one of the highest cesarean rates, that their was actually no scientific evidence that the incubator is effective. The incubator was invented and used and then after-the-fact research was done evidencing that “mother is a superior incubator” – but, as Dr. Bergman informed, only 8% of hospital care is evidence-based so the findings do not necessarily translate into practice. Trying to get our heads around this shift in thinking is all part of the paradigm shift currently taking place in the birth world. Dr. Bergman said it might take us all a few days to get our heads around it and for those pathways to develop.

At Orgasmic Birth we talk about paradigm shifts but we also talk about the big change one person can make, which is why it was so meaningful to listen when a nurse asked when was the appropriate time to attempt latch if the mom had an epidural? To witness medical personnel asking questions and showing interest regarding how they were going to support skin-to-skin motherbaby care in their labor and delivery room or after cesarean was just awesome. Dr Bergman’s response offered options regarding the half-life of the medication and also using the father or partner more. He helped us understand how the father or partner is an extremely necessary person in post-partum and can offer that skin-to-skin contact and “buffering protection of adult support” baby needs to experience “needed neural processes.”

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” – Frederick Douglass

He even shared a story with us about a father who was embarrassed when Dr. Bergman needed to gently break the latch baby had on daddy’s nipple so Dr. Bergman could bring baby to mom to breastfeed. And he suggested that, as with all things, when we do something new, we don’t have to be cowboys about it and we need to do it safely.

Dr. Bergman gave the U.S. kuddos on several occasions – once because we have lots of great research on breastfeeding and another time because several hospitals encourage skin-to-skin immediately following cesarean section delivery. In post-conference research I did find several hospitals that support Skin-to-Skin care such as: Yale New Haven, McKay-Dee Hospital in Utah, and the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Do you know of another hospital that supports skin-to-skin motherbaby care? Please share with us in our comments section.

“If you are a mammal that doesn’t breastfeed, you become a fossil!” – Dr. Bergman

How do YOU see the Future of Breastfeeding and Skin-to-Skin MotherBaby Care?

It was a wonderful and fascinating day with Dr. Bergman. Catch him if you can as he has a few more speaking engagements and if you are not able to attend here are a few ideas.

Things you can do:

Be prepared with a PRIVACY TAG – this one created by California Department of Public Health you can put on your door or the door of your clients:
http://www.cdph.ca.gov/programs/breastfeeding/PublishingImages/MO-GoldenHourPtRmSign.jpg

“Put Dad to use!” says Dr. Begman. If daddy/partner is there put baby skin-to-skin with them following a delivery where mom might not be able to hold baby, such as cesarean delivery or if mom’s medication is still wearing off.

EDUCATE yourself so you can be an ambassador of skin-to-skin motherbaby care: Read all about it at Dr. Bergman’s website offering wonderful products, research, and suggestions about how to implement skin-to-skin motherbaby care http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/.

INSPIRE yourself by looking at these beautiful images on the WABA site: http://www.waba.org.my/resources/images/images_page1.htm

To subscribe to Debra’s Pleasurable Weekly enews please click here.

Tweet

WBW MotherBaby: ChelseaCohen

These photos were submitted by: Chelsea Gehrken. Chelsea is a Momma, Doula, and Aromatherapist and “a lactivist, intactavist, and AP kinda gal!” Chelsea writes: “My journey with breastfeeding was at first a long and hard road. We used an SNS and donor milk quite often in the first year. Luckily we (my LO and I) both love nursing. We stuck to it! There are no words that can explain the pride I fill up with when I look at my 20 month old nursing. There were moments, even days when I didn’t think we would last much longer. But, here we are, despite all our troubles we did it and will continue to until he chooses to wean!!”

 

I was cooking for everyone in the family, all 4 generations, but my sweet Cohen needed his dinner first!
On of my favorite pictures! I was cooking for everyone in the family, all 4 generations, but my sweet Cohen ( 15 months) needed his dinner first!

 

This was taken when Cohen was 11 months old. I love his dream nursing snuggles.
This was taken when Cohen was 11 months old. I love his dream nursing snuggles.

 

This was taken when Cohen was 19 months. I love this picture because it shows how special this time is for the both of us.
This was taken when Cohen was 19 months. I love this picture because it shows how special this time is for the both of us.

 

To read Debra’s Pleasurable Birth Weekly enews please subscribe here.

Tweet

The Noble Lie of Childbirth

Submitted by Guest Writer: Denny Hartung, MD

Plato Silanion Musei Capitolini © Marie-Lan Nguyen / Wikimedia Commons

Unless  you have a philosophy background, degree or interest, or are a fan of Plato, you may not have heard of the concept  of “The Noble Lie”.  I first heard about it in Washington, DC, at The International  Breech Conference in November, 2012. A wonderful midwife from Canada named Betty-Anne Daviss shared it while waxing philosophical at one of the lectures, and I share the concept humbly with you. I believe it has merit as we think about the childbirth experience over the spectrum of care today.

Betty-Anne told us The Noble Lie comes from Plato’s Republic.  It is a myth or “untruth”, if you will, told by an elite, to maintain or advance an agenda. I did a little more digging after the conference and found out, in the “Republic”, the myth went something like this:  Into whatever societal class you were born, there you will always remain and exist.  Slaves and serfs are always in the lowest class, landowners will always lord it over the serfs, and the politic or ruling class will always have most of the wealth and always rule.  If the ruling elite got the masses to believe that, then they maintained control and there was less chance that the masses would revolt and disrupt the status quo.  We know this idea today to be antithetical to the general good of society.  All have opportunity to improve their status in life, contribute to society to the fullest, and can grow, given the right circumstances.

The “Noble Lie” of childbirth, as Betty-Anne tells it, is this, “Women in childbirth need to be saved most of the time.” Her idea is that “the elite” are telling women they cannot give birth on their own. “You need that epidural.  Your baby needs continuous monitoring.  You need an IV.  You need pitocin to help you deliver your placenta.  You need that cesarean to save your baby from the difficulties of natural childbirth. You cannot deliver a breech baby vaginally.” I could go on and on.  One wonders if the childbirth industry is telling us that to maintain control too.  Something to think about…

Birth is a sentinel event in the human experience. The world is never the same after each and every birth.  A new life is here to change everything. Maybe another Mozart or Gandhi or Goethe has come.  Even more amazingly, a woman has been transformed into a mother.  The process and outcome should be given the respect it deserves.

I believe that women need “saving” from childbirth only rarely. Cesarean birth can be good – sometimes. Epidurals can be helpful – sometimes, as can pitocin, etc.  But, I believe we trivialize the experience of childbirth for each woman, her partner, her growing family, society and the global community when we disempower  her from the most powerful and difficult thing she will ever do.  Too much unnecessary intervention not only affects her, it affects our community adversely.  Once a woman has given birth, she knows what she is made of. Let’s not let the “Lie” lead us away from the real truth of childbirth.  Most of time she CAN DO IT.  As a mother, she can then help others through it.  She can lead our community and her family better.  She can withstand practically anything.  She is empowered.  She can change the world.

Debra, Gail Tully, & Dr. Dennis Hartung at 2013 Minneapolis Birth Symposium.
Debra, Gail Tully, & Dr. Dennis Hartung at 2013 Minneapolis Birth Symposium.

 

Denny Hartung, MD learned that art of gentle birthing while he served as an Army OB/GYN with military Nurse-Midwives for 11 years in Alaska.  Since his Army retirement in 2005,  he has practiced community Obstetrics and Gynecology in Hudson, WI, and in the eastern suburbs of the Twin Cities area of Minnesota.  He has an interest in VBAC/TOLAC and vaginal breech birth and promoting the midwifery model of care in obstetrics.

 

Subscribe to a Weekly blast of Pleasure in Debra’s Weekly Pleasurable enews

Tweet

Breakfast in Bed Invitation with “Listening to Mothers III”

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 9.46.10 PMA Call for Birth Workers to have Breakfast in Bed with “Listening to Mothers III”

Submitted by Jill Wodnick, M.A., LCCE, ‘Giving Birth & Being Born’, Montclair State Univ. Center for Autism & Early Childhood Mental Health

It’s time for me to restock my Corn Flakes! Thanks to the support from the Kellogg Foundation, the Listening to Mothers III research was released May 9, 2013.  In no surprise to birth professionals, a national survey of new mothers reveal that risky procedures in healthy populations are overused and many beneficial practices are underused.  My hope is that the leverage of this report found in today’s Wall Street Journal and Consumers Reports is that the conversation will expand and permeate into the paradigm of optimal maternity care.

imageforOGblogLTM3In a tale of two labors, inductions had drastic birth outcome implications.  53% of women had inductions; whereas  47% had no induction. Looking at birth outcomes, the  woman who went into labor without an induction and without an epidural had a cesarean birth rate of 5%; the woman who had an induction and epidural had a cesarean birth rate at 31%. The value of the Listening to Mothers is that Childbirth Connection did just that: listened with clarity over the past decade to mothers from all over America making a real imprint in the buzz word of ‘patient centered care.’

Today’s webinar by Childbirth Connection to present the Listening to Mothers III featured a cross section of change makers.  In hearing Leah Binder, president of the Leap Frog Group focus on the employers and purchasers of health care, she was quick to point out that labor and delivery make-up 25% of hospital charges.  New Jersey’s own Dr. Thomas Westover, M.D., Co-Chair, New Jersey Hospital Association Perinatal Safety Collaborative, Assistant Professor, Maternal & Fetal Medicine & OB&GYN, Robert Wood Johnson Medical and Cooper Medical School detailed the need to engage payers so hospitals have the capacity offer consistent VBAC access.

Aligning incentives for higher quality care will go a long way to foster the gap that is in maternity care between protocols and best practices.  Only 2 out of 5 women walked around during labor.  More than two-thirds (68%) of women who gave birth vaginally reported that they lay on their backs while pushing their baby out and giving birth. The anonymous quotation of this woman tells the journey of what so many women experience:  “I was not allowed to get up and walk around, even go to the restroom, after I had been strapped with the fetal monitor.”

The fact that freedom of movement is not consistently accessible nor available begins the cascade of many interventions which drive up cost and can derail the treatment of women.  Issues of  equity, access and disparities all make this report critical to review.

Callers on the webinar about Listening to Mothers III asked about sharing this information with medical providers and the challenge for employers to support education and information for pregnant women.

Third times a charm.  The last two LTM surveys have been a much needed voice in patient centered care and narrative medicine.  Now, we have a decade worth of Listening to Mothers.  We can list out the need to improve care and the list of underused comfort measure and list over used procedures.  We can find that in the past decade, our lists may have gone on deaf ears when it comes to consistent implementation of best practices.

The root word of both list and listen is the Indo European word root of kleu.  They are together because listening involves tilting or leaning over to a side to hear something. So hear the direct words of LTM III:

‘Over the three Listening to Mothers surveys, respondents have increasingly supported the idea that birth processes should not be interfered with unless medically necessary. However, there was little indication that the maternity care system protects, promotes, and supports the intrinsic physiologic capacities of this largely healthy population of women and their fetuses/newborns.

Technology-intensive maternity care continues to predominate.

Our maternity care system is failing to provide care that many mothers told us they want and that is in the best interest of themselves and their babies. Moreover, this unnecessarily costly style of care places a considerable burden on governments, employers, and families who pay the bills for this major sector of the health care system.

The Institute of Medicine’s landmark Crossing the Quality Chasm report exposed the gulf between where our health care system is and where it should be with respect to safety, effectiveness, patient-centeredness, timeliness, efficiency, and equity.’

As you take the time to read Listening to Mothers III, take a moment over your own breakfast cereal to read the research.  You will digest the research and resources of what maternity care can be in the United States and our role in the many dimensions of care.

 

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 10.00.46 PMJill Wodnick teaches didactic sessions to medical residents as well as Lamaze Childbirth Education through Montclair State University’s Center for Autism & Early Childhood Mental Health.  Speaking frequently about birth, she recently delivered a webinar for the NJ Hospital Association on sustaining NJ’s BabyFriendly Hospital Initiative through the use of doulas. She can be found singing and playing board games with the 3 boys and husband in Montclair, NJ. www.JillWodnick.com

Tweet

Recovering from Birth Trauma: Working with Parents

Submitted by: Suzanne Swanson, PhD, LP

Introduction from Debra: We have reached a time in the developed world that it is not enough to survive childbirth, women must survive and thrive physically and emotionally.  To ignore the importance of  a women’s emotional well-being during childbirth is to leave a mark that can create a lifetime of pain.  As Dr. Sarah Buckley says” When women are safe, supported and undisturbed” they can find comfort and pleasure in birth and I would add thrive emotionally. ~  Debra Pascali-Bonaro 

33-122572623351tzSara doesn’t like to tell her birth story:  “I didn’t have a Cesarean.   My baby came fast, really fast.  People say I’m so lucky I didn’t have a long labor.  I’m ok; my baby is healthy.  But I felt so alone:  no one believed me, no one was ready to help me.”

LaKeesha’s story looks very different, but she’s pretty reluctant to talk about her baby’s birth, too: “I did have a Cesarean.  My baby came early and then they had to get her out immediately.  But then even when her Apgars were good, they kept her in the NICU.  I had to fight to give her my colostrum and breastfeed her.  She’s thriving and happy now.  My friends keep telling me to focus on the present.  Why can’t I stop thinking about what might have happened?”

Cheryl Beck’s research leads her to conclude “birth trauma is in the eye of the beholder.”  Sarah and LaKeesha both experienced birth trauma:  each one lost her sense of feeling basically safe —  emotionally or physically or both — in the world.  The births of their children activated a sense of danger, plus the physiological arousal that comes with “fight or flight.”  And neither the fear nor the arousal seem to go away.

Sara doesn’t want to go to her 6 week appointment.  She’s not sure her 3rd degree tear is healing properly, but she doesn’t really trust her OB to take her seriously anymore.  She finds herself thinking, “I’m not really worth listening to.”  LaKeesha isn’t sleeping well.  She wakes in a panic from nightmares — the baby’s heart rate is dropping!  During the day she flashes back again and again to her separation from her baby, her longing to hold her and breastfeed her.  She feels like a bad mom “Why didn’t I insist they bring her to me sooner?”

They’re not alone.  Eighteen percent of women in the 2008 New Mothers Speak Out survey experienced some of the characteristics of post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD): flashbacks of the birth, nightmares, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, anxiety or panic, anger or irritability, numbness or avoidance. Nine percent of the mothers surveyed met all the criteria for PTSD. (Childbirth Connection, 2008)

We women can feel so vulnerable giving birth.  We’re in a new world with each birth, an unfamiliar land with no guideposts.  With care, respect, and encouragement, a woman’s openness to this unique birth can be transforming and her own confidence can blossom.

But when things happen quickly, when no explanations are given (or laid out without room for informed consent), when a woman does not feel respected, when a physical sensation reminds her of previous sexual trauma, she can feel overwhelmed and unable to integrate her emotional experience.   “What’s happening to me?  Is my baby ok?” In the middle of feeling threatened, often a woman tries to protect her baby:  “Do whatever you need to!”   Or she may feel guilty later that she was unable to give her baby the start she’d hoped for.

And we must not forget partners.  Ed’s wife Karen gave birth to their baby boy in the water.   They felt so connected as a family, so happy with the support of their midwife and doula.   Then —  hospital policy —  the baby’s glucose levels were tested and found to be borderline and he was taken to the special care nursery.  Karen was tired and in tears.  Ed wanted to advocate for their family, but he was tired, too, and felt helpless. He just couldn’t figure out what to ask, what to say.  Weeks later, he goes over and over the conversations with the RNs and the pediatrician.  He doubts himself as a father and is not as involved with his son as he imagined he’d be.

How can we work with birth trauma?  What do these parents need?  They need, first of all, to be heard and respected.  If we respond to their stories with “but you have a healthy baby; that’s what’s important,”  we dismiss them one more time.  Minimizing re-activates that sense of emotional danger  (“I don’t matter”) and invalidation.  We need to provide the safety of acceptance to parents whose births (and that includes the postpartum period) have been traumatic —  the safety of witness, of being validated and cared for.  We ask open-ended questions (“what was that like for you?” and  “what had you hoped for?”).  We make open-ended comments:  “There’s so much you’re turning over.”  “What you wanted matters.”  We don’t superimpose our own beliefs or experiences on theirs.

parents-holding-baby-871294937167Xx4We listen some more.  We may, as we get to know the story, notice with them that there are some parts of the story that are not activating, parts of the birth that actually felt —  and still feel —  safe and satisfying.  We don’t use that knowledge to dismiss the sense of danger.  We simply notice that —  for some parents, not all — the story is a little larger, a little wider, a both/and (safety/danger), not only a story of panic and trauma.  We can sit together with grief and sorrow and loss.

We can offer traumatized parents simple techniques to ease their anxiety and panic:  meditation, relaxation,  4/7/8 breathing or butterfly tapping to lower their baseline level of arousal.  We can encourage them to develop a postpartum mantra that includes both the distressing experience and affirmation.  For example, Sarah might repeat,  “Even though I felt like nobody was listening to me, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I believe I am worth listening to.”

What else?  We can point out resources online to share experiences or learn more about trauma:

  • Solace for Mothers  http://www.solaceformothers.org
  • Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth  http://pattch.org
  • International Cesarean Awareness Network http://ican-online.net/
  • The Birth Trauma AssociationTrauma and Birth Stress (TABS) http://www.tabs.org.nz/
  • PTSD after Childbirth  http://ptsdafterchildbirth.blogspot.com/
  • Postpartum Support International  www.postpartum.net
  • Postpartum Progress  www.postpartumprogress.com

We can suggest classes, workshops and groups that focus on healing birth (see see FB pages for ICAN, Healing Birth Stories, Another Birth/Another Story).

We can encourage parents to consult psychotherapists, bodyworkers and postpartum doulas (and birth doulas during another pregnancy)  who are familiar with both physiologic birth and birth trauma.

Women and their partners do heal from difficult or traumatic birth.  We can help them reclaim their confidence, strengths and connection to each other.

*   *   *

Beck C. 2004. Post-traumatic stress disorder due to childbirth: the aftermath. Nursing Research 53(4): 216-24.

Declercq E, Sakala C, Corry M, Applebaum S. 2008. New Mothers Speak Out: National Survey Results Highlight Women’s Postpartum Experiences. Childbirth Connection: New York

web-1-2Suzanne Swanson, PhD, LP is a psychotherapist who has been working with pregnancy, labor, postpartum, loss and mothering for over 30 years. She was Founding Director of Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota; she is a Minnesota Coordinator for Postpartum Support International and a board member of PATTCh (Prevention and Treatment of Trauma in Childbirth). Suzanne is the author of What Other Worlds: Postpartum Poems.  She is mother to three adult children, and grandmother to one sweet baby.

Tweet
  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Go to page 4
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

Site by The Design Valley

Categories

  • Awaken Your Inner Wisdom
  • Birth Stories
  • Country of the Month
  • Do Something
  • Doulas
  • In Your Voice
  • Orgasmic Birthing
  • Pleasurable Life
  • Uncategorized

Sunken Treasure Publishing LLC © 2021 · Key birth photography by Sweet Births © 2014 · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Site Cookies