Debra Pascali-Bonaro

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

Happy Earth Day: “Peace on Earth Begins at Birth”

GBF logo smallI have always loved  the saying – “Peace on Earth Begins at Birth”.  Today, Earthday, is the perfect day to look at how we can nurture Mother Earth.  It is also a great day to look at how we can Birth our babies naturally.

These days many people incorporate an eco-lifestyle, but then when it comes times for childbirth turn their bodies and their babies over to medicine and drugs.  I encourage everyone to take the time today and over the next few months to explore your natural birth options.  Researching your options now can help you and your baby avoid many of the chemicals and medications later that are often overused at childbirth (for which the short and long term consequences have not been extensively studied).

Today as I celebrate our Mother Earth, I enjoyed reading Alicia Silverstone’s Earth Day Challenge with great ideas of things we can each do to make a difference.  When Alicia was expecting her baby, she wrote about our documentary Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret and she featured our book Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth in the Kind Life Book Club, listed as one of her favorite books to read while pregnant.

Alicia reminds us  “A great documentary can be the best reminder of why we choose to maintain a kind lifestyle.”  Here is Alicia’s recommended documentary list  in honor of Earth Day.  I would like to encourage  you to see our new Green Version, of the award winning documentary, Organic Birth: Birth is Natural!

Take one-step today to make change.  Share with us what you are doing to honor our Mother Earth and how you are preparing for an Eco-Friendly Natural Childbirth.

We birth the way we live!!  Wishing you a pleasurable Earth Day!

To explore more natural comfort measures for an Eco-Friendly childbirth look for my upcoming Talks & Webinars and find more tips in my Weekly Enews.

Reduce Pain with Oxytocin, The Love Hormone

Love SculptureSubmitted by: Debra

I ask you to consider, what happens when we bypass the body’s natural ability to begin labor with love, and its ability to secrete peak levels of the hormone of love, oxytocin? Studies have shown oxytocin’s role in reducing pain. In my own state of NJ, Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University, a famed author/sexologist found that when women masturbate to orgasm, “the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased significantly by 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.”

In an interview in Wired magazine another colleague, Rutgers psychology professor Barry Komisaruk, said, “We’ve seen that there is a strong inhibition of the response to pain during orgasm. What that leads us to think is there is some kind of very important interaction between the orgasmic experience and the pain experience.”

We know that when women are induced with synthetic oxytocin they and their baby feel more pain. Labor contractions are much harder to manage and often require an epidural to manage pain. But what about other short and long term effects of not allowing our bodies to produce this essential hormone at peak levels? Synthetic oxytocin cannot cross the blood brain barrier. We not only loose its pain relieving effects, we miss the ecstatic, nurturing, bonding effects it offers to MotherBaby too.

These relatively new studies are key to our discussion in our documentary Orgasmic Birth and in my many talks and workshops about finding pleasure in birth and life. Sarah Buckley so exquisitely writes in her book, Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering “Passion and love are as powerful a combination at birth as they are in sexual activity. And in birth, as in sex, we release oxytocin, the hormone of love, in huge quantities from deep inside our brain. Here again, our hormones are directing us toward optimal and ecstatic experiences, yet this system is also extremely vulnerable to interference.”

What happens when we replace our natural hormones with synthetic hormones to begin or augment labor? We don’t know all the answers in either the short of long term for our babies and society but the question must be asked.

Dr. Buckley is the author or new Physiology Report due out next month that will provide more data and insights on how valuable our natural hormones our to keep childbirth safe, healthy and, I add… pleasurable!

Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices gives us great information and research on why allowing labor to begin on its own is so important! Lamaze International recommends that you neither choose induction nor agree to be induced unless there is a true medical reason. A “large” or even “very large” baby is not a medical reason for induction. Letting your body go into labor on its own almost always is the best way for you to know that your baby is healthy enough to be born. Spontaneous labor also increases the likelihood that you can experience the other healthy birth practices identified by Lamaze International that lead to a safe and healthy birth— especially freedom of movement and no routine interventions.

Lamaze Induction Questions
Excerpt from www.MothersAdvocate.org PDF

Amy Hannaford of Bellies & Birth comments: “Always, ask “why” when your care provider is recommending something or especially if you are being told you “have” to have an intervention, such as an induction. We normally would never let anyone do something to our bodies without our consent, so pregnancy and birth should be no different.”

Experiencing natural contractions, produced by your own body’s oxytocin, increases your freedom to respond to your contractions by moving around, changing positions, and trying the tub or shower. Interfering with or replacing the natural hormones that orchestrate labor, birth, breastfeeding, and maternal attachment may have consequences that we do not yet understand. So take the time to ask questions- its your right! Wishing you lots of love and oxytocin!

Please sign up for Debra’s enews to learn more about these studies as well as discuss many of the ways you can enhance the release of oxytocin in your labor and birth- finding more pleasure, reducing pain, and enhancing safety for you and your baby.

My Personal Journey with Birth: Third Time is Orgasmic

Debra & her grandmother
Debra & her grandmother

My fascination with childbirth began when I was a young girl, listening to the birth stories of my great-grandmother, grandmother and mother. I share these stories and my first birth experience and how I was able to have a safe, satisfying birth in the midst of a technological medical model, in our book Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience as well as in our new Pleasurable Birth films. Each of my three births provided me with many lessons and awakened more of my intuitive wisdom. It was during my third pregnancy when I was already a childbirth educator that I researched and knew that birth could be so much more than I had been able to experience in my two previous births. Although my births had been positive, healthy and empowering, I knew there was more.

Debra & Lonnie Morris Midwife
Debra & Lonnie Morris Midwife

I discovered an amazing midwife, Lonnie Morris, who at that time had a birth center in New Jersey. Having had two births already that had both elements that I treasure and aspects I knew I wanted to change, I was excited to be with such a strong midwife, whose confidence and wisdom in birth, gave me the freedom I had been yearning for to believe birth could be something incredible, joyous and yes Ecstatic, Blissful and Orgasmic!

With Lonnie strong yet gentle guidance, each visit I found new strengths and insights into childbirth and myself. She touched and rubbed my growing belly, listened to my concerns, feelings and my wishes. Lonnie helped me connect with my baby’s movements in a way that other caregivers had not done. I would no longer have to fight to move around in labor, she encourage me to find positions I was comfortable with. Labor would begin on its own, when my baby was ready, no fear tactics to begin labor before we were ready. I could eat and drink in labor, all these seem like obvious rights, yet laboring women give these up every day around the world, when science shows these simple acts make labor safer and easier for both MotherBaby. Why had I had to fight for these in my past pregnancies? A midwifery model of care, not only honored my voice, my rights and treated me with dignity, but her encouragement instead of a fear-based model, nourished me in confidence.

Debra & her baby
Debra & her 3rd son bonding

I will never forget arriving to the birth center in labor knowing I could surrender to the power of labor. Feeling nurtured and supported by a circle of women, midwives, a nurse and my partner.  I did not have to negotiate to protect myself or my baby from standard practices that did not meet our needs. I showered, moved and gave birth upright on a birth stool. I was never told to do anything. I was nurtured and encouraged to do what I had to do. To listen to my body, my baby, my “inner wisdom”. As my baby slid from my body, the sense of accomplishment, the orgasmic, blissful feeling that came over me, the release, I did it! I had remained calm, confident and upright. There are never enough words to express those feelings that are contained in the moment of ecstasy. I am filled with gratitude each time I remember my birth. I am so grateful to Lonnie and the other midwives who believed in me. They were like guardian angels, nurturing me safely thru these sacred gates. Lonnie and I have attended many births together in the past 25 years as midwife and doula. She caught my grandson. With tears in our eyes as he was born, my eyes catching hers – I smiled knowing the circle of life goes on as Lonnie continues to advocate for every woman, man, baby’s right to give Birth Your Way!

What does Birth Your Way mean to you? Please share your thoughts, your quotes, your comments as I will gather them and weave them into my upcoming teachings.

Lonnie attended Debra’s daughter’s birth too – read her story.

“Birth Your Way” Healthy Birth Practices

Mother’s Advocate & Lamaze work to educate about the 6 Healthy Birth Practices. On April 28th Debra discussed “Birth Your Way” at HackensackUMC Mountainside for a special afternoon of images and stories of birthing around the world. Debra will incorporate these Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices in her teaching.

    • Healthy Birth Practice 1: Let labor begin on its own

      What question did you ask your Care Provider about Induction such as “Can we try more natural methods of induction before using drugs?

 

 

Packing My Bags with an Open Heart

BaliAs I leave Bali to return to the U.S. I am enjoying a feeling of inner peace. I am grateful for many deepened connections to the people and the spirit of Bali. For Ibu Robin Lim and her dedication and passion for Gentle Birth, the MotherBaby’s of Indonesia and her work at Bumi Sehat. To Katherine Bramhall, a dedicated midwife, co-teacher and friend who reminds me to work on simplicity, to smile and savor each moment.Flippers
I have deepened my inner smile, renewed my yoga practice and committed to make time each day for meditation and prayer.  Together these practices have awakened an energy inside me that I am committed to keeping alive even though I know how quickly the fast pace of life will pull at me. We all know that feeling and how important having support to encourage us is. I appreciate you! Your caring, sharing and support on our journey to transform childbirth and nurture our spirit. I love hearing from you and your path to awaken your inner wisdom and to find peace and pleasure in birth and life. Thank you- I am so grateful to each and every one of you!

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Bali Tree of Life: Baby Rituals Around the World

Baby Naming CeremonyBali is filled with celebration and rituals. I wrote about this Baby Naming Celebration last year and it is such a beautiful memory that I hope you will enjoy it with me again this year.

March 2012: Sunday was our day off from the Eat Pray Doula workshop. Today we had the great honor of being invited to share in a traditional Balinese baby naming ceremony that that is held when the baby is 42 days old. Suami: 1 Wayan Kartana and Istri: Ni Made Antari had given birth to their daughter Anac: 1 Wayan Wahyu Dharma Sentana at Bumi Sehat in Nyuh Kuning. They invited Ibu Robin Lim to join them at their blessing and Ibu Robin asked if they would share with all 25 doulas. Their generosity to open their home and their hearts to us this day left us all with such gratitude and awe.

The day started with our usual breakfast, but before long the doulas were gathering with Ibu Robin Lim, learning to tie the traditional sarongs and sashes, as we were going to temple. The heat of the morning was building as we went outside and there was a line of taxi’s waiting for us. We all piled in and began our journey winding in and out of the small streets, through little villages to arrive at a traditional family compound. The compound is a modest setting where many members of the extended family had their homes and share a family temple. The temple is a central area for weddings, celebrations, and where people rest when they pass on until their cremation ceremony.

We were greeted as family with warm Balinese smiles, hands in prayer honoring all with gratitude to share this special blessing. Food was prepared for us all and I imagine in this simple compound the women must have worked for days to weave the banana leaf plates, cook the vegetables and fruits with rice, and make the many offerings that we were soon to share in their temple.

As we ate, the priest sat and began his chanting and blessings in thePlacenta: The Forgotten Chakra area where the baby’s placenta had been buried. After a lotus birth, where the placenta is seen as the baby’s brother or sister, giving life, the tree of life, as it looks like when you view the arteries that have sustained the baby with blood and oxygen. The baby is carried with its placenta attached until it falls off in its own time. Like the petals of the lotus flower, it allows the baby to gentle unfold with its brother/sister from spirit world, until the baby is ready for the transition alone to our planet. Once the placenta is buried the baby will always be able to keep the connection to spirit and ancestors intact – if he/she travels in life, they can take some of the dirt from this area with them to always maintain their connection. Robin Lim’s book The Placenta: The Forgotten Chakra is a must read for all birth keepers.

I was filming today, with their permission, and the family was so excited that they would have a record of this day. I was soon escorted into the husband and wife’s bedroom for the traditional ritual of praying and blessing their bed, where mom, dad, and baby sleep. In this small traditional room, the music of Kenny G, played and their pillowcases were of the American flag. I smiled, feeling the traditions of past times so present and yet the current western trends seeping in. The sun shone in the window as I saw the doulas, family and friends still eating outside. It was time for the temple blessings. The priest in white, was sitting on the special stand chanting, blessing holy water, preparing the space for us. Ibu Robin taught us how to pray – to use incense to cleanse ourselves the first prayer, followed by three prayers where we held flowers in between our hands in prayer form, raised above our heads. Placing the flowers in our hair and last on the ground. As the priest comes around to bless us with holy water sprinkled over us, next we hold our hands open to heaven welcoming our cleansing and praying. Next, right hand over left, we make a cup with our hands to receive the holy water to sip, cleansing our mouths, words, and last to wash our face and head, purifying our thoughts and deeds.

Group by group we pray, the heat of the day upon us. The small sacred temple filled with all the doula’s prayers and gratitude for being part of this special ceremony.

We exited the temple to the main yard of the family compound and more food was served such as exotic fruits – many fruits I had never seen, let alone tasted. Just as I was about to sit to enjoy them, the father came and invited me to join them back in their bedroom. It was just the mother, father, baby, grandmother priest and me. They were inviting me in to film their private blessing. I had tears of gratitude, honor and without words or time, I maneuvered in front of the window to shoot into the small room so they would not be shadowed in the light. So with very little space and simultaneously trying to film while welling with my own emotion, I filmed and listened to the chants, the holy water blessings, and offerings made. The baby began to cry and was soon nestled at the mother’s breast. We all smiled with the universal understanding of the simple pleasure, comfort and nurturing that breastfeeding brings. The priest continues. Again I am struck by the ancient ceremony I am privileged to film and bear witness to and yet the contemporary music of Kenny G continues. I have my own internal smile as I wonder if Kenny G will give me permission to share this sacred footage since his music graces it.IMG_5252(1)

 

Ina May Gaskin Inducted Into The Women’s Hall of Fame

Ina May

Submitted by: Debra

I awoke yesterday to an email from Ina May Gaskin sharing that she will be inducted into the Women’s Hall of Fame!  I yelled, I danced, I cried tears of joy both for Ina May and this well deserved honor for her dedication, wisdom and love she has shared with so many  of us around the world.  Later in the day Ibu Robin Lim said “Ina May is lifting up all midwives and birth keepers around the world.”  From one hero to another!

It has been an amazing 18 months as Ina May Gaskin has received the Right Livelihood Award in 2011.  Often considered the “alternative Nobel Prize”.  They wrote; “Ina May Gaskin is a role model for midwives who still dare to think in different paths, trying to implement more humane obstetrics in their countries, and providing women with the chance to choose the way of giving birth that seems right for them.”  Watch her gracious and powerful acceptance speech. What a powerful call to action including:

“care given during the time surrounding birth should give the needs of the mother-baby pair precedence over the needs of caregivers, institutions, and the medical and insurance industries. Individual hospitals should consider implementing the 10 Steps to Optimal MotherBaby* Maternity Services (www.imbci.org)…if all countries put the welfare of mothers and babies at the center of maternity care policy, midwifery would have to grow strong again.”

Please join me in honoring Ina May, posting this to your friends and sharing your favorite Ina May Gaskin quote right here.

To subscribe to Debra’s Weekly Enews please sign up here.

How Will You Honor International Women’s Day 2013?

“The equality and empowerment of women and girls is truly the moral, economic and humanitarian issue of our time.”  – Marie Forleo

entering Yoga Picture 2Marie’s quote was going thru my mind as I was pushing thru the pain in my morning yoga class at Eat Pray Doula in Nyuh Kuning, Bali. Gabby, our beautiful teacher, kept saying move thru the pain, go deeper, move, move move, breathe breathe breathe. Her words not only ring true to the physical stretching we were doing, but also emotionally and spiritually. As a woman, we all have our own pain, past grief, loss, and in many cases, trauma. We must first heal ourselves, and in doing that, we give ourself the gift of love and empowerment. As we push thru and past our pain we become healers, ready and able to serve other with our example, to share our love and compassion.

On International Women’s Day, my honoring and celebration starts personally within, and expands to how each one of us can help bring respect, dignity, and honor to every girl and woman.

You can make a difference. How often do you read something and think it is too much to take on. You don’t have the time or money? Someone else will do it?

IntIWDernational Women’s Day is a day that I urge you to take a stand! You can make a difference in many simple ways to help empower women and girls. You may already be doing this in your own family or community. If not, now is the time to begin. To begin with yourself. What do you need to do to feel your power- to “Awaken Your Inner Wisdom?”

FoB DVD cover

The Face of Birth Documentary The women of our Eat Pray Doula Workshop will be part of the global screening of “The Face Of Birth”– see our recent blog post “The Issue of Homebirth in Australia” to learn more about this film about Birth as a Human Rights Issue and find your local screening. http://www.faceofbirth.com/

 

No Woman No CryNo Woman No Cry Another important film that will be screening on facebook today at 11am eastern time is from Every Mother Counts is “No Woman No Cry” This is a powerful documentary from Christy Turlington-Burns of the tragedy of maternal mortality around the world.

Half the Sky Have you read or seen the documentary Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide ? This powerful book and film is on my must read for everyone! It looks at the tragedies Half the Skyof women enslaved in sex trade, dying from preventable causes in childbirth and more. While hard to read at times, I encourage you to open you eyes and heart to what is happening globally to women and girls. The co-writers and husband and wife team, Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, show us how in each case just one person made a difference and transformed a girls or woman’s life. You will cry, smile and move to action!

Video “Most AMAZING INSPIRATIONAL Transformation” by Sun Gazing While this video clip is not about women, it does show how our determination to push past our pain, past our beliefs can create miracles in our own life and touch other’s lives by our examples. Grab a tissue and watch.

IMBCO LogoIMBCI There are many organization that are dear to my heart that are working to improve the lives of MotherBaby in childbirth. Two I would like to share with you and encourage you to visit and support today are The International MotherBaby Childbirth Organization– a human rights framework around quality care with a heart for all pregnant and birthing women around the world. As Chairperson of IMBCI I know first hand the difference your donations will make!

IMG BumiSehatBumi Sehat Bali I am writing this from Bali where I am working with Katherine Bramhall and Ibu Robin Lim a CNN Hero as they raises awareness and money for Gentle Birth at Bumi Sehat Bali. Please give $1.00, just one dollar, or more… you will make a difference in the lives of women today. Bumi Sehat is the Global Birth Fair Spring Featured Organization. This month purchase a pair of adorable Bumi Baby Booties & all proceeds go to Bumi.

I am thinking of you today, celebrating every girl and women of the world. Join me in standing for every woman right to respect and dignity in life and in birth!

As www.womendeliver.org say – “Invest in Women- it pays!”.

Love and blessing,

Debra