Debra Pascali-Bonaro

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

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Attention Birth Doulas, Kindness & Knowledge are Not Enough

Create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth

By: Katherine Bramhall, CPM

12244702_10153719374516737_2146311270992143088_oI sat in my villa on a beautiful Bali Saturday with the sun luring me to the many beauties outside such as the pool, a great iced coffee at Three Monkeys, an invitation to the beach, etc… yet I resisted the seduction of Busy. Instead I drank instant coffee and sat quietly working all day, compelled to harvest all that just unfolded in the last week with 14 incredible birth workers from all walks of life and all stages of life. I didn’t want to miss the harvest.

As I sat, women came to my door to say goodbye to me with their eyes and hearts soft and wide and hearts generous, open and overflowing with awe and gratitude for the experiences they had just shared together and privately during their time at Eat Pray Doula.

Words like ‘transforming’ and ‘I could never have imagined’ and ‘like no other workshop I have EVER attended’ along with ‘sisterhood’ and ‘tribe’ were quietly offered. These feelings affirming that the effort and investment to come to Bali to study was more than worth the investment in Themselves and could never be quantified by words alone.

I understood, as the Group was one more of the Gathering of Women that comes together to create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth at Eat Pray Doula. As one of their teachers, I am humbled.

But with all their dreams of becoming and developing as the keepers of Birth, what I saw MOST in them over the week was this:

Compassion is necessary to work with families in birth, but it isn’t enough.

Kindness is also necessary, but even it isn’t enough.

Intelligence and a hunger for knowledge and knowing is essential in order to teach and empower  families, but it isn’t enough.

Wit and humor for both our families and ourselves is so important, but also, not enough.

Certainly these things are all common denominators in women who work with families in birth.

But what I am basking in tonight as I look back at the close of yet another Eat Pray Doula workshop here in Bali is that the piece that feeds ALL of those things…the Essence that makes it all WORK is COMMUNITY.

Community with our Sisters ties all the other components together…holds us together so we can continue to evolve this Birth Movement backwards- back to the time when giving birth was seen as natural and normal and part of life. Community has always been a huge part of my work and I am forever grateful to you and all my sisters, all around the world, for the mutual support we have shared.

Join me for Eat Pray Doula: A Gentle Birth Evolution for All Birth Workers March 11 – 20, 2016 in Bali Indonesia

Midwifery student and aspiring doula trainer, Kate, shares about walking into the unknown with women and being respectful, kind, and honoring each other. She ask birth keepers if there is nurturing that can happen in your own life to enhance your work?

Doula Rap!

I’ve had such a fantastic time while training doulas in Austria! I’m now at the Midwifery Today Conference in Germany, another inspiring and amazing time!

Doulas are amazing creatives, and I was so inspired and moved by this beautiful Doula Rap by Johanna König & Silke Weissenbacher

[Tweet “You make your decisions in the right moment With your heart, your soul and your mindfulness”]

Doula – always here for you
I’m holding your hands, I ‘m always here for you
I’m massaging your back- you’re going to love it
You make your decisions in the right moment
With your heart, your soul and your mindfulness
The river wants to flow in order to reach the sea
Doula- always here for you
The smell of lavender and rose
Get rid of your pants
Everything in privacy
then your darling will come to this world very gently
Doula – always here for you
Skin to skin
Your child is very close to you
Your dearest is finally here
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And enjoy this video clip our host put together about our workshop!

Visit my schedule to find a workshop near you!

Midwifery Today Honors Author & Pioneer Midwife Elizabeth Davis

“She has been our ideological heroine, our legislative pioneer, our practicing-hands-on-let’s-get-birth-right-kind-of-midwife, and a teacher for many future generations of midwives who understand what it means to attend birth with their hands and with their heart because of Elizabeth Davis.” – Robbie Davis Floyd

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Cheers to Author, Midwife & dear friend, Elizabeth Davis!

Did you hear that at the 2015 Midwifery Today Conference in Bad Wildbad, co-author of Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience and author of the classic midwifery text, Heart & Hands: A Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy & Birth, received Lifetime Achievement Award for her accomplishments as a midwife? I felt such joy when Jan Tritten of Midwifery Today approached me to say she wanted to honor Elizabeth Davis. My heart was singing as Elizabeth is a true hero; educating and advocating for midwifery care in California; leading the way for professional midwives in the US; and touching, educating and inspiring midwives around the world (and even a few physicians!).

Watch the video and listen to Robbie Davis Floyd as she presents the award to Elizabeth Davis and explains how Elizabeth was instrumental in creating the certification that we now have, which is the CPM, and by advocating for state participation to ensure that the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) certification process would be truly representative of grassroots midwives and their practices. A pioneer midwife honored for her lifetime of work.

Elizabeth Davis also served as a “representative to the Midwives Alliance of North America for five years and as President of the Midwifery Education Accreditation Council for the United States. She holds a degree in Holistic Maternity Care from Antioch University, and is certified by the North American Registry of Midwives.” www.elizabethdavis.com

I was overcome with emotion as Robbie shared Elizabeth’s many accomplishments. I am so honored to call Liz a dear friend, sister and colleague as she inspires, supports and offers me so much wisdom, insights and love as a true mentor in my path to bring more pleasure love and orgasmic joy to birth and life. Tears flowed as I witnessed Elizabeth receiving this award for her dedication and determination to create a profession of midwifery in California and beyond, and for her years of teaching and inspiring all to see the fullness birth holds in the lives of women, families and for caregivers.

Trauma to Triumph Video Chat with Penny Simkin

“Thanks for sharing. I’ve not been comfortable to ask my students about sexual abuse. It’s really the wording that I need to work on and also how to go about helping the couples to heal their trauma before their birth.” – Yen Kong

OB Conf. CouponPenny Simkin joined Debra for the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference to discuss “From Trauma to Triumph, Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on the Childbearing Woman” In the video excerpt below, Penny explains how to broach the subject of sexual abuse with expectant mothers. Co-founder of DONA International, Penny Simkin, PT, is a physical therapist who has specialized in childbirth education and labor support since 1968. She has assisted hundreds of women or couples through childbirth as a doula. To view the full discussion and full conference, please visit http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/orgasmic-birth-virtual-conference/

Receive 50% OFF until December 21st using discount code: Thanks50

Courage to Birth Video Chat with Roanna Rosewood

“Thank you! You have given me so much to think about, and the idea that without challenging our fears we cannot be courageous, going towards uncertainty, made my perspective totally shift.” – Olive

OB Conf. CouponRoanna is the bestselling author of Cut, Stapled, & Mended. She’s an international speaker, co-founder and host of Birth Plan Radio, and the executive action chair of Human Rights in Childbirth. Roanna joined Debra for the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference to discuss having the “Courage to Birth.” In the video excerpt below, Roanna discusses her quote “we cannot numb ourselves to fear, pain and death without also numbing ourselves to courage, pleasure and life.” To view the full discussion and full conference, please visit http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/orgasmic-birth-virtual-conference/

Receive 50% OFF until December 21st using discount code: Thanks50

Here is what Ashley wrote in response to Courage to Birth…

“Thank you so much for this video! I am currently in the 22nd week of my 3rd pregnancy and trying to prepare to be in the birthing mindset. My other two kids are 12 and 9, so it has been a while and this was a surprise. My first birth, I thought I was prepared. At 22 I was pretty naive. I thought doing the classes was enough. My son’s birth was pretty traumatic. A very long labor, he was face up and with a narrow pelvis birth became very stressing on him and me. He was at a dangerous point in which fast action was needed. It all ended up with a ton of interventions. Including a 4th degree episiotomy, failed vacuum and forceps. It was so traumatic for me.

“I ended up finding a doula to help with the next birth. To bring focus and calm. Again, I thought I was prepared. What I hadn’t prepared for was the FEAR of getting to the point of delivery. I was doing so well, then at 7cm working with my two support people and then I panicked about delivery and it being a repeat traumatic situation. I asked for the epidural, not because I was not handling the pains of labor…. not because I couldn’t do it anymore, but purely because of the fear. Her birth was so much better but there were still some unnecessary interventions that go around all because of my fears.

“I have to be honest with you. I never even really thought about that much until watching this video. Now I’m realizing that there are a whole handful of fears that I had during each that were holding me back. One simple one that you mentioned, the gown! It kept me from going into positions that would have felt right to me and probably helped progress labor in a better way. This whole pregnancy has been much different than my others. I’ve had this positive mantra going through my head and I think it has really helped. I’m starting to get just as much excited about the labor and delivery side of things as I am for seeing my sweet baby!

Thank you again for sharing this videos. It has definitely inspired this momma.”

We hope you enjoy this clip as well as all the conference videos. Enjoy your savings until December 21st!

Top 12 Reasons to Attend a Doula Workshop

DSCN0441I am privileged to teach, dance and connect with the circle of doulas all over the world. Being a doula is universal language – like a smile – the gentle supportive role can cross nations, cultures and languages.

Labor support, comfort, and the nurturing of mothers, fathers and partners during one of their most vulnerable and yet their most powerful life moments is an honor. I do believe that just by holding a mother’s space during labor that you are giving her an amazing gift. That said, I also believe that being a trained DONA doula gives you an amazing base of knowledge and understanding that will deepen your understanding of ways to support and honor the sacred time that is birth.[Tweet “12 Top Reasons You Should Attend a Doula Workshop!”]

Here are my top 12 reasons you should attend a doula workshop!

  1. Discover a doula’s Her-Story, Scope of Practice and Doula Code of Ethics
  2. Join the sisterhood: doulas practice all over the world and have a shared passion!
  3. Learn how to enhance comfort and pleasure for your clients
  4. Explore ways to grow your doula practice and your activism for every MotherBaby and Family
  5. Practice hands-on techniques for each stage and phase of childbirth
  6. RebozoLearn comfort measures with a birth ball, rebozo, peanut ball, water and more…[Tweet “Examine ways to make every birth -in every setting- a safe, sacred, gentle birth.”]
  7. Examine ways to make every birth – in every setting – a safe, sacred, gentle birth
  8. Refine the information you will cover during prenatal and postpartum visits
  9. Honor The Golden hour – Newborns and breastfeeding
  10. Improve your Communication skills
  11. Begin process to become certified with DONA International, a well-respected, evidence based and historic doula organization
  12. Elevate your doula business skills

And a bonus reason? Because educated doulas feel more prepared for the challenges and triumphs that childbirth will bring.

What to become a DONA International doula? I’d love to meet and teach you IN PERSON! I am constantly booking workshops all over the world. Check out my schedule to find a workshop near you!

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Circle of Doulas: Love is the only thing that lasts

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Austrian doulas and I singing “Who are The Witches?”

Singing, Dancing, Listening, Learning, Connection, Women, Oxytocin, and Pleasure are all words that come to mind when I reminisce about our doula workshop this past week in Furstenfeld, Austria. Angelika and I have been friends since we met at the 2002 International Confederation of Midwives conference in Vienna. That year there were 3000 midwives and 3 doulas attending, we quickly found each other. Each year I return to Austria be a part of her red tent for women, birthworkers, doulas, and midwives. My weekend is one-part in her doula training and yet it reminds me that all women can benefit from a woman’s retreat, or red tent in their community.

I think of the days long ago when our daily lives would bring us together at the river to do laundry together, sharing our stories, our challenges, secrets of our heart and our joys. The circle of women was in tact. I think that is why I love the book the Red Tent so much. It takes you back to these days and every woman who reads this can feel this calling in her soul for this connection with our sisters. In all our advances, technology connections have replaced the intimate circle of women in our lives. We are learning that this is essential for us. Think of how when you live with women our cycles come in sync. We are only beginning to understand the way we effect each other’s physiology and thus beginning to understand why women’s continuous presence in childbirth effects the physiology of birth creating a safer, shorter, easier birth.

The new female stress response “Tend and Befriend” identified by Taylor and Klein in the groundbreaking research in 2000 shows how women’s response to stress is different than the male “ flight or flight” response. We need to be with women to lower our stress and raise the hormone of calm, connection and love, oxytocin. Yet, with all this emerging knowledge, are you making time in your life each week for a woman’s tea, circle, singing, dancing, sharing? If not, why not? Next time you gather with a group of women to sing, dance, share and listen, pay attention to how you feel after. What words would you use to describe the effect of a few hours with our girlfriends on your body and mind? Preparing to welcome new life into the world is the ideal time to find your circle, your female friends that can offer you safe place to share your fears, release them and identify your strengths. To nurture you in good birth stories,  in celebration of women’s bodies and to encourage you to share your hearts desires and dreams.

I hope you will add your thoughts and your stories here so we can encourage women of the world to reconnect the circle of support of women in our lives. It is amazing how singing around a fire under the full moon as we did, rekindles a connection both to nature and women that burns on in our souls and awakens an inner wisdom and knowing that is waiting to be re-discovered.

And in honor of All Hallow’s Eve, here is Who are The Witches?

Who Are The Witches?
Midwives reclaiming their heritage: A social movement song
Who are the witches?
Where do they come from?
Maybe your great-great grandmother was one
Witches were wise, wise women they say
And there’s a little witch in every woman today
Women had babies and witches were there
To help and to hold them, and give them sweet care
 
And witches knew stories of how life began
Don’t you wish you could be one?
Well, maybe you can…….
Who are the witches?
Where do they come from?
Maybe your great-great grandmother was one
 
Some people thought that the witches were bad
Some people were scared of the power they had
The power to heal and to give and to care
It’s not something to fear, it’s a treasure to share!
Witches are wise, wise women, they say
And there’s a little witch in every woman today.
Who are the witches?
Where do they come from?
Maybe your great-great grandmother was one
Witches were wise, wise women they say
And there’s a little witch in every woman today

Finding Pleasurable Birth in VBAC

"The moment her eyes find mine, she quiets, recognizing me though we have never seen each other. We are even more connected than when we were still one body."
“I cradle her to my left side, to my heart, to where the first sound she hears is the steady and familiar beat of home. She is slippery like a dolphin and oh so soft.The bright cord, still pulsing food and oxygen, entwines us.”

Roanna Rosewood’s Cut, Stapled, & Mended: When One Woman Reclaimed Her Body and Gave Birth on Her Own Terms After Cesarean is an incredibly honest, exquisitely written book for mothers, women recovering from traumatic birth, doctors, midwives, nurses, all birthworkers, expectant parents, pregnant women, and fathers.

Cut, Stapled, & Mended is like a beautifully detailed birth story arching over Roanna’s first two cesarean births and third birth- a healing, pleasurable, bubbly VBAC, complete with her insights to birth and a broken maternity system. The book is about childbirth and about “the exquisite and raw birth of a woman” and we get to witness this via delightful treks into her life of running a restaurant, traveling to Hawaii, and mothering her two boys and husband who have creative ideas of play: “When the dish soap goes missing, I find it and the three of them on the trampoline.They have added water from the garden hose and are jumping—Dad and Avram fully clothed, Jonah buck-naked—in mountains of suds.”

“No.”Again, she allows me to interrupt her.“I don’t need to sleep, I’ll take Pitocin. I’m fine. Really. Give me Pitocin, or Cytotec even. I can do this.”
Desperate to avoid cesarean, mom says: “I don’t need to sleep, I’ll take Pitocin. I’m fine. Really. Give me Pitocin, or Cytotec even. I can do this.”

Sadly the most challenging part of Roanna’s story is common to so many- as consumers we trust our doctors and facilities only to find this approach didn’t work. Roanna admits: “As an articulate person, I had assumed I would be able to rationalize through labor, to troubleshoot, to concentrate and verbalize and make decisions. I was wrong.” After we are taken thru the heartbreak of this very traumatic first birth, we head towards her second birth with more optimism and although, it too results in cesarean surgery, the experience is better and mom is able to employ different pleasurable birth techniques: “Our Hypnobirthing routine works well. I don’t experience “pain,” the surges continue to be manageable.” And after the surgery they receive MotherBaby Friendly care: “I am grateful for the gift of this profound time, to be the first person my baby sees, to allow the familiar beat of my heart to comfort him, and to have the dignity, privacy and warmth of my little cave…””

Roanna and her Merbaby
“The moment her eyes find mine, she quiets, recognizing me though we have never seen each other. We are even more connected than when we were still one body.”

For birth number three, mom goes into full training mode even having found acceptance: “If we have to go through a cesarean, it will be okay. Birth is not everything.We have an entire lifetime to share.” But instead she finds herself in a place where she can say: “Where before there was pain, now there is only exquisite pleasure.” And to her a “merbaby” is born!

This is such an important and beautifully written book for anyone preparing for pleasurable birth, recovering from traumatic birth, as well as all birthworkers- doctors, doulas, nurses, and midwives alike. Enjoy your read of Cut, Stapled, & Mended – you won’t want it to end!

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Roanna with 2 of her 3 children and her wonderful midwife, Laura.
Roanna with 2 of her 3 children and her wonderful midwife, Laura, at book launch party.

Roanna is an the author of  Cut Stapled and Mended: When One Woman Reclaimed Her Body and Gave Birth on Her Own Terms After Cesarean, an award-winning international speaker, co-founder and host of Birth Plan Radio, and the executive action chair of Human Rights in Childbirth and most importantly, a mother. In her not-so-humble opinion, the latter makes her a true birth expert.

Hear more from Roanna in the en*theos Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference as she discusses Finding the Courage to Birth and how we cannot numb ourselves to fear, pain, and death, without also numbing ourselves to courage, pleasure, and life. Labor doesn’t come from nowhere, when contractions begin. It’s the physical manifestation of our experiences throughout life and pregnancy. Fear of labor isn’t bad thing. It illuminates the specific work you can do to prepare for labor.