Debra Pascali-Bonaro

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

Pussy Power!

I always talk about the doulas role in creating Birth Ambiance,  so people feel safe, private and relaxed to open to the deepest parts of themselves.  

We must also create this at our workshops and retreats too. I love when we host doula retreats in places that have been built by birth keepers with the sacred energy and messages of birth all around.  Whether you are birthing a baby, or a dream or a new career as a doula – the energy around you – where you choose to learn can make a difference in how safe you feel to go deep into the space that birth calls us to enter. Elysia in Austria and Robin Lim’s Peace Kitchen for our Eat Pray Doula Retreats in Bali are two of my favorite places abroad, and of course my own special space in NJ. These spaces invite us all to connect to the generations of women before us, all those who are giving birth around the world, to face our challenges, to open to heal, to grow, to stretch and to bring more love and light into all the dark spaces and dance and sing our songs with pleasure and love.

Angelika invites us to connect with the Goddess within, surrounded and reminded of all the symbols of opening to the sacred feminine throughout her-story.  

Angelika’s red womb tent always is filled with beautiful images of the birth Goddesses and each year she has a new creative project to take us deeper into understanding the sacred feminine.  This year her project was even beyond, deeper, inside the power that is too often overlooked or hidden with shame – into the power of the PUSSY! I was so inspired by her crocheted Pussy I decided I had to read Mama Gena’s book by the same name. I had downloaded the book and the audio before I left and had not made time to begin, clearly Angelika and the universe was telling me the TIME IS NOW!

I love to walk each morning and so my morning ritual is to wake with the sun, do some morning yoga sun salutations and then set off to walk to a cafe and on the way listening to Mama Gena in her own voice share about Pussy!  I highly recommend her book and so much so as I am developing an in-person and online class for doulas and educators to prepare their students for a safe, satisfying and pleasurable birth experience. Pussy will be a prerequisite to read, journal and discuss as we must connect with, examine our beliefs, and heal our own connections to our sacred feminine power to teach and pass it on to others.

I gaze out the window and the hills are alive with the sound of music, it reminds me to be present.  The train provides such a rich opportunity to revel in the beauty all around me, above me, inside me and my gratitude blessings for this amazing opportunity to connect with doulas, the sacred feminine, honor the sacred masculine and revel in my new Pussy-Yes Yes Yes!  My parting gift from Angelika is my own crocheted Pussy – with a secret – you will have to wait to see our next blog and video to see what she gave me and why I am so thrilled and excited.

By now I will have arrived in Switzerland – to join Michele and the doulas and parents of Zurich, Switzerland. Michele has invited me to share 2 days with a mix of doulas, parents and midwives – together we will explore the magic of birth, the body, mind, spirit and sexuality of pregnancy, birth and beyond as well as the pleasure that is available to us in birth and life.   Trusting and opening to life as we we trust and open to birth takes us on many adventures and only when we trust that even in the tunnel we will come to the light can the magic unfold. The snow capped mountains glisten as the sun peaks thru the clouds and the next tunnel appears. What will lie ahead- for you and for me?

If you have read this far – please let me know-  comment below and let me know how and where you are?  What magic is happening in your life? Would like to join me in reading Pussy: A Reclamation by Regina Thomashauer “Mama Gena” and discussing?

Magic Happens when Given the Chance

A Serendipitous Meeting with an IMBCI Gentle Birth Hospital

I’ve just finished an amazing doula workshop in Austria with my dear friend Angelika. The workshop was wonderful, and inspiring – and now I have a break before our next group of doulas arrive and I am able to spend some time working on other things. As Chair of the International Childbirth Organization (IMBCO), I get the opportunity to work with Doctors, Midwives and Facilities worldwide that are demonstration sites for the IMBCI 10 Steps of gentle hospital birth. Angelika has woken early to doula for a baby that is transverse and will have a planned cesarean birth. Since the site of the birth, Feldbach Hospital is one of the IMBCI Models, I’ve decided to come along. The Doctors and Midwives here have been a part of the IMBCI for many years, but being so busy caring for childbearing families they have not had as much time for meetings in the past- and were unable to book time with me this trip.

I decided to join Angelika feeling hoping that maybe this baby would create some magic and give me an opportunity to say hello to Dr. Hoffman and Dr. Huber – bringing us all together.

We arrive and Angelika goes into the birthing area as the woman is being prepared for a cesarean birth. I get my morning pleasure – a nice cup of coffee and sit in the waiting area in the hall. It’s not long at all and Dr. Hoffman comes by and sees me. He is surprised to see me and is quite busy, but is looking forward to meeting later when he has a moment break from caring for women and their babies. I am comfortable and waiting for a birth, as he is too, so we are all relaxed knowing it will come together. Soon after, Dr. Huber appears, also busy going to the morning meeting, we share big smiles of excitement and surprise seeing each other, and we plan to meet later after his meeting.

Before long Dr. Huber returns with another Doctor who is helping with the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative. They have some free time as today they will do one less cesarean. I smile… it’s not long and I hear that this is Angelika’s client! Before the cesarean began, a scan was done to confirm the baby’s position and the baby’s head is now down – no cesarean for her! The mother will now wait for labor and have a VBAC. I smile with tears of joy, this baby has really done magic to create it’s birth and also to bring us all together as without the opportunity to come to the hospital today we might not have all met – the baby truly created time and space for us to meet. A little later Dr. Hoffman is also available, and all of us – the Doctors and two doulas have important conversations about their work implementing the IMBCI and gentle cesareans. This hospital has lowered their cesarean birth rate by 6% and are as excited as we are to keep improving and being an amazing model.

Angelika and I leave the hospital sparkling with oxytocin! What a special morning, much more than we could have imagined on our drive over – not knowing if we’d even have a moment to say hi to the doctors since they were so busy, and instead having a productive and incredible meeting.

Afterward, we had to stop at my favorite chocolate factory to get a big endorphin high in celebration! Finding pleasure each day is a choice – even on the most terrible of days I still enjoy and appreciate a moment of something pleasurable. Today it chocolate with rose and marzipan, and it’s truly Orgasmic!

We smile as we drive thru the beautiful Austrian countryside – seeing castles on the hills, the sun shining and getting ready tomorrow to welcome another group of doulas to our workshop beginning the next day.

Living in the moment allows the magic to happen.Click To Tweet

Living in the moment allows the magic to happen. Waking today early with the sun has given us many blessing and time to feel our connection to nature and each other. Thank you baby – you truly have shifted not only your birth position and birth, but touched so many of us today creating a ripple effect. Your birth provided us the opportunity to meet with the doctors helping them enhance their dedication to the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative – providing respectful, quality to care with compassion and heart, shining their light far and wide -which is so needed today. Baby- you are touching so many lives even before you are born, you are being felt and held with love as I am thinking of you and wishing you a safe, satisfying and pleasurable birth.

Knowing you will have Angelika’s doula wisdom with you and your family at your birth really makes me smile. Doulas make a difference, because we hold the space for the magic to happen!

Doulas make a difference, because we hold the space for the magic to happen!Click To Tweet

Join me in Austria next year, or somewhere else around the globe for a doula workshop. See my schedule here for dates -(and check back often for more dates, as we are always booking more!)

My experience doula training with DPB

By Shawn Williams

[Tweet “Doula Training w/DPB = empowering, intense, global-focus, warm and welcoming, creates sisterhood, reminds us of the importance of service”]

When presented with the opportunity to train as a birth doula with Debra Pascali-Bonaro (DPB) I jumped at the chance.  I had previously been trained as a postpartum doula and knew that she was a highly respected doula and doula teacher.  Her reputation preceded her and is well deserved.  If you are fortunate to train with DPB this woman of deep wisdom will ensure that you learn what you need to know in order to be a caring, knowledgeable, community doula.

Each morning of training began with a warm welcoming smile from DPB, an informative video playing on the television, a table full of rebozos, books, and movies related to the miracle of birth.  There was always a sense that we should always be learning – there is always something to learn.  During our postpartum training there was certainly a lot of materials covered to ensure that we were thoroughly trained to instruct families in infant care.  Everything from helping moms process their birthing experience to the various characteristics of newborns and, of course, offering assistance with breastfeeding.  Our days in training were filled with discussions, role-plays, and lots of story sharing as those of us with varied birth-related experiences shared stories with our classmates.  Our training with DPB was also incredibly empowering.  Throughout the classes, stories, and videos the common thread on display is the strength of women from around the world as we give birth to, nourish, and care for our infant childbirth.

This sense of empowerment was very apparent during the birth doula course I took with DPB.  She made sure that we were reminded of the strength, beauty and wonder of pregnancy, labor and delivery of babies.  Additionally, as doulas-in-training she shared the important roles that we as doulas play for women as they transition into mothers or mothers-again.  The sense of family we share when we when we are there for women during labor and delivery is truly an honor.  As doulas we share our strength mothers-to-be.  They lean on us when they think they cant endure another powerful wave of labor or can’t push anymore.  We are there to let them know that they are powerful beyond anything they know and that they can do it.

Finally, doula training with DPB left us all with a great sense of community.  DPB was eager to learn from and encouraged us to share pregnancy; labor, delivery and early infant care traditions from our own cultural communities.  We laughed and shared old wives tales, beliefs from our grandmothers, tried and true research-based practices finding the commonalities, taking notes on differences and those things that work to care for the new mother, their babies and families.  We were trained to be culturally responsive, to at least ask what is important to families at the very important time in their life of family welcoming a new member.  It is this commonality that helps doulas build community with each family they work with and connect them to other families and resources in their neighborhoods.  Overall it was a pleasure to train with DPB.  I would recommend that all who are interested in doula work train with Debra Pascali-Bonaro.

Learn more about doula trainings and retreats with Debra- debrapascalibonaro.com/schedule

Woman who Coined the Term “Doula,” Saying Goodbye

On February 2nd, the birth community said goodbye to Dr. Dana Raphael- anthropologist, pacifist, philanthropist, ballet enthusiast, and the woman who coined the phrase “Doula.” My condolences go out to the family with deep respect for the amazing life and legacy Dr. Dana Raphael gave us.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr Dana Raphael in 1988 – 1989 when the doula movement was just beginning. A group of us, including Dr. Raphael, spoke about doulas and discussed how she coined the term “doula” to describe a female caregiver who “Mothered the Mother.” This was all prior to the establishment of DONA International in 1992. We held a gathering for what we called the National Association of Postpartum Care Services – NAPCS. We had some lengthy discussions as doulas were just beginning to organize and Dr. Raphael could see the ground swell of doulas, going from within the woman’s own circle, to that of a community of women who offered services as we now have them, all around the world. I remember her concerns, her vision and her passion. I have shared her book and work around the world as I train doulas with DONA International.

Below is the note Dr. Raphael’s family sent that I wish to share with you. Please share, do you like the term “doula” to describe women supporting birthing mothers? Please share in our comments your yes, nos, and whys.

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Pictured are Dr. Raphael & Margaret Mead. In 1975, they co-founded The Human Lactation Center, an institute devoted to researching patterns of lactation worldwide.

Dr. Dana Raphael, well-known medical anthropologist, writer and lecturer, who was best known for her work in supportive behavior and breastfeeding, died at home in Fairfield, Connecticut of complications from congestive heart failure on February 2nd. Raphael is credited with launching the Doula movement. The term doula was first used by Raphael in a 1969 anthropological study to describe a female caregiver during labor and childbirth whose function was often associated with successful breastfeeding (in Raphael’s words, ‘mothering the mother’). A longtime resident of Fairfield, she was also an avid supporter of Connecticut Ballet and the Connecticut Audubon Society. Raised in New Britain, Connecticut, her family started a chain of department stores (Raphael’s) that were well known in northwestern Connecticut into the early 1970’s.

She obtained her Ph.D. from Columbia University, studying with anthropologist and mentor, Margaret Mead. As a newly-wed in 1953, she did her initial field work in India. Her marriage to soul-mate and collaborator, Howard Boone Jacobson, lasted 60 years until his death in 2013. In 1975, she co-founded The Human Lactation Center with Margaret Mead, an institute devoted to researching patterns of lactation worldwide. The Center is now a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) that has consultative status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations.

il_570xN.764901422_aw2mRaphael’s seminal book, The Tender Gift: Breastfeeding, published in 1973, extols the virtues of lactation and offers a number of tools and techniques to assure a successful breastfeeding experience. Many in the midwife and Doula community refer to it as the ‘bible of breastfeeding’ for mothers looking to overcome social stigmas, medical concerns or personal challenges around lactation.

Dr. Raphael never shied away from controversy, having taken on milk formula companies such as Nestle in the 1980’s, pushing them to be more aware of the impact they were having on infant mortality in the developing world. She worked with them to amend their practices, creating educational programs to help mothers better understand how to use formula as a supplement to breastfeeding.  Taking her work a step further, she also served as Executive Director of the Eleventh Commandment Foundation, an NGO which researched the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse on women’s experiences of pregnancy, labor, childbirth and lactation. As a long-time member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), she was called to struggle against the Vietnam War, for justice for survivors of sexual abuse, for gender equality, and against sexist depictions of the female body in the media and popular culture.

In the last 20 years, Dr. Raphael served on the U.S. Board of the Club of Rome, working on climate change issues and creating programs to educate world leaders on the impact of climate change. Dr. Raphael served as an adjunct professor at Yale University, School of Medicine, and as an invited lecturer in the United States, China, India and Japan. She received two Fulbright awards, chaired or participated in more than fifty conferences and symposia, and wrote or edited five books and numerous articles.

She is survived by her three children, Brett Raphael, of Stamford, Connecticut, Seth Jacobson and wife, Cindy Short, of Malibu, California, and Jessa Murnin and husband, Jim Murnin, of Fairfield, Connecticut. She also leaves behind six beloved grandchildren: Wynn Jacobson-Galan, Layne and Skye Jacobson, and Kevin, Katie, and Sean Murnin.   In lieu of gifts, the family requests that contributions be directed to the Dana Raphael Fund for Connecticut Ballet. A celebration of her life and work will be held on March 6th. Please let the family know if you would like to attend.

Dr. Dana Raphael, you will be deeply missed – thank you for sharing your passion with the world. My condolences go out to the family with deep respect for the amazing life and legacy Dr. Dana Raphael gave us.

[Tweet “Do you like the term “doula” to describe women supporting birthing mothers? Yes, no, why?”]
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Did they experience a Gentle Birth?

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As I sat on a flight from Singapore to Tokyo, Japan on my way home from our Advanced Eat Pray Doula Workshop in Bali, I was filled with so many emotions. My eyes welled up with tears, tears of sadness and tears of gratitude. From the news that Paris had suffered attacks to reaching my son and his girlfriend who were in Paris was only minutes- yet felt like hours. In my inability to comprehend the extent of the tragedy, I moved to get dressed in slow motion. Hearing my phone ring, my son’s voice – my heart expanded with love and gratitude. Yet, soon learning of all who were lost, my heart ached. I imagined how so many parents were not receiving a text and call back. How our lives can change in an instant.

Walking out into the hot sun, the Balinese smile at me with their whole heart, wishing me good morning. Life in the small village goes on and yet we all feel the connection continents away and send our prayers and healing thoughts to Paris.

I am reminded why I have come to Bali, to support midwife Ibu Robin Lim’s work to bring gentle birth to all. To welcome our babies with respect, love and connection. It is so simple and yet eludes so many to come into the world with these 3 aspects and yet that is what we all long for all our lives- respect, love and connection.  Out of our desire to share the model, that Ibu Robin and the midwives of Bumi Sehat birth center created, we birthed our Eat Pray Doula workshop so that birth keepers around the world could come join us in Bali to  learn and  experience the beauty of gentle birth, to join our growing circle and be inspired to birth it forward in your community. This years circle of women did that and more as we laughed, cried, healed, shared, learned and transformed, celebrating a connection, sisterhood that will stay with us forever.

I can’t help but wonder if the young men who killed so many and then themselves in Paris had a gentle birth? Did they have the opportunity for love, connection and respect in their first minutes, hours, days and years? How would the world change if every baby was conceived in love, birthed in love and lived with love? I wish for all humans to be welcomed to the world into gentle and loving birth spaces.

What the worlds need now is Love. Love Heals, Love Nurtures and Love Connects us.

I have my ring tone for my phone set to the Beatles “All You Need is Love” as in my morning gratitude I am always thankful to my family, my friends and the circle of birth keepers, yes You for your love! I am sending you my love.

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 9.24.51 AMAt Eat Pray Doula, our circle spans the world of doulas, midwives, doctors, nurses, healers, mothers, fathers, partners  and all who share a passion to improve the world one MotherBaby at a time. We live in different communities, countries, cultures, speak different languages and practice different religions, but those difference slip away when we like the Balinese smile with our hearts, share our passion and our love. Together working to make the world a safer, gentler place thru gentle, loving, pleasurable birth.

Just thinking of each of you fills my heart with gratitude and love as we unite around the world with healing love.  I hope today you will  “Imagine – imagine all the people, sharing all the world, you may say I am dreamer, but I am not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one”

On this Thanksgiving – I am thankful for you!  Thankful for our connection, for our collective prayers and vision of One World filled with Love, Love for every MotherBaby, Every person to be respected, welcomed, loved and to feel your connection to those you love, to each other and to our circle.

Please share your love, write a sentence of your love and gratitude below.

Let’s spread love and healing, as love has no limits, love expands and expands.

Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving.

Amy Neuhedel of The Cord podcast illustrates well the Eat Pray Doula Bali Workshop & reveals the secret ingredient.

 

Attention Birth Doulas, Kindness & Knowledge are Not Enough

Create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth

By: Katherine Bramhall, CPM

12244702_10153719374516737_2146311270992143088_oI sat in my villa on a beautiful Bali Saturday with the sun luring me to the many beauties outside such as the pool, a great iced coffee at Three Monkeys, an invitation to the beach, etc… yet I resisted the seduction of Busy. Instead I drank instant coffee and sat quietly working all day, compelled to harvest all that just unfolded in the last week with 14 incredible birth workers from all walks of life and all stages of life. I didn’t want to miss the harvest.

As I sat, women came to my door to say goodbye to me with their eyes and hearts soft and wide and hearts generous, open and overflowing with awe and gratitude for the experiences they had just shared together and privately during their time at Eat Pray Doula.

Words like ‘transforming’ and ‘I could never have imagined’ and ‘like no other workshop I have EVER attended’ along with ‘sisterhood’ and ‘tribe’ were quietly offered. These feelings affirming that the effort and investment to come to Bali to study was more than worth the investment in Themselves and could never be quantified by words alone.

I understood, as the Group was one more of the Gathering of Women that comes together to create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth at Eat Pray Doula. As one of their teachers, I am humbled.

But with all their dreams of becoming and developing as the keepers of Birth, what I saw MOST in them over the week was this:

Compassion is necessary to work with families in birth, but it isn’t enough.

Kindness is also necessary, but even it isn’t enough.

Intelligence and a hunger for knowledge and knowing is essential in order to teach and empower  families, but it isn’t enough.

Wit and humor for both our families and ourselves is so important, but also, not enough.

Certainly these things are all common denominators in women who work with families in birth.

But what I am basking in tonight as I look back at the close of yet another Eat Pray Doula workshop here in Bali is that the piece that feeds ALL of those things…the Essence that makes it all WORK is COMMUNITY.

Community with our Sisters ties all the other components together…holds us together so we can continue to evolve this Birth Movement backwards- back to the time when giving birth was seen as natural and normal and part of life. Community has always been a huge part of my work and I am forever grateful to you and all my sisters, all around the world, for the mutual support we have shared.

Join me for Eat Pray Doula: A Gentle Birth Evolution for All Birth Workers March 11 – 20, 2016 in Bali Indonesia

Midwifery student and aspiring doula trainer, Kate, shares about walking into the unknown with women and being respectful, kind, and honoring each other. She ask birth keepers if there is nurturing that can happen in your own life to enhance your work?

Midwifery Today Honors Author & Pioneer Midwife Elizabeth Davis

“She has been our ideological heroine, our legislative pioneer, our practicing-hands-on-let’s-get-birth-right-kind-of-midwife, and a teacher for many future generations of midwives who understand what it means to attend birth with their hands and with their heart because of Elizabeth Davis.” – Robbie Davis Floyd

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Cheers to Author, Midwife & dear friend, Elizabeth Davis!

Did you hear that at the 2015 Midwifery Today Conference in Bad Wildbad, co-author of Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience and author of the classic midwifery text, Heart & Hands: A Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy & Birth, received Lifetime Achievement Award for her accomplishments as a midwife? I felt such joy when Jan Tritten of Midwifery Today approached me to say she wanted to honor Elizabeth Davis. My heart was singing as Elizabeth is a true hero; educating and advocating for midwifery care in California; leading the way for professional midwives in the US; and touching, educating and inspiring midwives around the world (and even a few physicians!).

Watch the video and listen to Robbie Davis Floyd as she presents the award to Elizabeth Davis and explains how Elizabeth was instrumental in creating the certification that we now have, which is the CPM, and by advocating for state participation to ensure that the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) certification process would be truly representative of grassroots midwives and their practices. A pioneer midwife honored for her lifetime of work.

Elizabeth Davis also served as a “representative to the Midwives Alliance of North America for five years and as President of the Midwifery Education Accreditation Council for the United States. She holds a degree in Holistic Maternity Care from Antioch University, and is certified by the North American Registry of Midwives.” www.elizabethdavis.com

I was overcome with emotion as Robbie shared Elizabeth’s many accomplishments. I am so honored to call Liz a dear friend, sister and colleague as she inspires, supports and offers me so much wisdom, insights and love as a true mentor in my path to bring more pleasure love and orgasmic joy to birth and life. Tears flowed as I witnessed Elizabeth receiving this award for her dedication and determination to create a profession of midwifery in California and beyond, and for her years of teaching and inspiring all to see the fullness birth holds in the lives of women, families and for caregivers.

Courage to Birth Video Chat with Roanna Rosewood

“Thank you! You have given me so much to think about, and the idea that without challenging our fears we cannot be courageous, going towards uncertainty, made my perspective totally shift.” – Olive

OB Conf. CouponRoanna is the bestselling author of Cut, Stapled, & Mended. She’s an international speaker, co-founder and host of Birth Plan Radio, and the executive action chair of Human Rights in Childbirth. Roanna joined Debra for the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference to discuss having the “Courage to Birth.” In the video excerpt below, Roanna discusses her quote “we cannot numb ourselves to fear, pain and death without also numbing ourselves to courage, pleasure and life.” To view the full discussion and full conference, please visit http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/orgasmic-birth-virtual-conference/

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Here is what Ashley wrote in response to Courage to Birth…

“Thank you so much for this video! I am currently in the 22nd week of my 3rd pregnancy and trying to prepare to be in the birthing mindset. My other two kids are 12 and 9, so it has been a while and this was a surprise. My first birth, I thought I was prepared. At 22 I was pretty naive. I thought doing the classes was enough. My son’s birth was pretty traumatic. A very long labor, he was face up and with a narrow pelvis birth became very stressing on him and me. He was at a dangerous point in which fast action was needed. It all ended up with a ton of interventions. Including a 4th degree episiotomy, failed vacuum and forceps. It was so traumatic for me.

“I ended up finding a doula to help with the next birth. To bring focus and calm. Again, I thought I was prepared. What I hadn’t prepared for was the FEAR of getting to the point of delivery. I was doing so well, then at 7cm working with my two support people and then I panicked about delivery and it being a repeat traumatic situation. I asked for the epidural, not because I was not handling the pains of labor…. not because I couldn’t do it anymore, but purely because of the fear. Her birth was so much better but there were still some unnecessary interventions that go around all because of my fears.

“I have to be honest with you. I never even really thought about that much until watching this video. Now I’m realizing that there are a whole handful of fears that I had during each that were holding me back. One simple one that you mentioned, the gown! It kept me from going into positions that would have felt right to me and probably helped progress labor in a better way. This whole pregnancy has been much different than my others. I’ve had this positive mantra going through my head and I think it has really helped. I’m starting to get just as much excited about the labor and delivery side of things as I am for seeing my sweet baby!

Thank you again for sharing this videos. It has definitely inspired this momma.”

We hope you enjoy this clip as well as all the conference videos. Enjoy your savings until December 21st!