Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

As a spiritual person, I feel been blessed to learn and experience so many different religious practices and am always moved by the opportunity to pray, meditate and feel the divine around and within us all and honor the traditions that each culture has created to honor their own connection to divinity and love. Here is one recent experience that I want to share with you.

The Path of the Gods from Agerola to Positano is world famous for its views and inspiration but even with all I had read, I was not prepared for the experience that it provided me, (and my husband Jimi, my cousin Graziella, and her daughter Angela). We began our walk high in the mountains of Agerola with the clouds swirling around us. The fog provided a gentle breeze that felt good and cool as I knew the bright hot sun would soon be upon us. The cliffs of Agerola are unique- the views beyond anything words can describe and the smells of the wild mountain flowers, honey suckle, jasmine, lemons, rosemary, other herbs, and grapes are intoxicating. Every sense is stirred as you careful place your feet on rock pathways and stairs that date back to the 9th and 10th centuries. Homes built into the rock like caves that are still in use today, fill me with wonder as the only way to them is to walk these steep and narrow mule paths. We pass one beautiful well maintained home with a huge garden of sunflowers, vegetables, herbs and grapes to learn an 80 year old couples lives here. Three times a week they take the 30 – 45 minute walk up hill to get their supplies and other groceries. What a place to live, it feels like I am on top of the world, seeing further than I can ever see in the U.S, and where the sky meets the glistening Mediterranean Sea below, a feeling of infinity fills me as I can no longer see where one ends and the other begins the circle of sky, water and earth go on and on.

I am reminded of the song I sang with Angelika and the doulas of Austria Round and round we dance, we hold each other’s hands, we weave our lives in an circle. Our love is strong and the dance goes on…. For some reason the circle of life felt so powerful to me here.

We soon find a note that someone left to caution us for mating viper snakes ahead. Half way down we can see an old monastery on the side of the cliff, it looks like another canyon away, but in a short time winding down the trail we come to an archway and enter into the sacred gardens. The sun is glistening, birds are singing, the winds gentle breeze feels like a nice caress, calling us into silence and sacred space. Before us are two tables on a terrace overlooking Priano below with blue table clothes and 4 chairs, as if someone was waiting for us to arrive, but we don’t see anyone. I feel like I have stumbled into another time, quietly we walk and see the door to the Monastery is open; we enter into the old section from 1436 with Fresco’s still visible on the wall. I immediately feel a sacred presence and we move deeper to hear the chanting of monks, could it be? On closer observation we see it is a cd player calling us into the main chapel that has been renovated. Here candles are lit, and incredible fresco’s and art bring me to tears. I am called to the one red pew to pray in front of what I later learn is the Madonna de Grazia, the Madonna of grace and gratitude and thankfulness. As I sit before her, the alter is full of MotherBaby images, the whole cathedral is full of MotherBaby images and the circle of women.

I see a picture of a monk carrying flowers and a scroll in one image and learn he is Saint Dominica the patron saint of Priano where my Great Grandfather was from. He is the patron Saint of Astronomers and Astronomy and if you could see the night sky here you would know why they choose him to preside over these mountains that meet the sea. The twinkle of the stars are so vivid you feel as if you can reach out and touch them. Agerola celebrates a night in August each year with the stars are falling/shooting from the sky so much the village sleeps atop the mountain to see them and a band plays as the sun rises to honor the sky, the moon, the mother earth and all the incredible wonders of nature. I can only imagine how special this would be to attend, but today I can feel my own wonder with what is before me. There are so many hidden secrets in this region that are just asking us to take the leap of faith and allow ourselves to experience them. I am truly overcome with energy, emotion and the reverence that I feel in this sacred space.

I join my husband and cousins outside to have the lunch Graziella had prepared for us. Still no sign of anyone, but this entire Chapel, view and terrace just for us. We are offered the most beautiful lunch view. As we finish two other hikers come by, we learn from them that we had left the Path of the Gods and entered onto the Path to Priano- so without our knowledge we had been led to this sacred space. I walked between Agerola the village where my Great Grandmother, Angelina Milo was born and Graziella and my family still live, to the village my Great Grandfather, Louis Fusco was born in. In the middle I have been swept back in time to this sacred space with music, art, divinity and feminine grace and the wisdom of the Holy Mother fills me in a way I can’t explain and yet the feelings were so strong like nothing I have felt before. I am reminded how birth and life are one. When we trust our inner wisdom, when we allow ourselves to be guided by nature, to be lost in the music of our soul, this is a place that magic happens and in childbirth where we birth our babies and the part of ourselves that begins to understand the beauty and connection we have to nature as we are all one.

I am so grateful that I found the Madonna De Grazia and she deepened my connection and daily attitude of gratitude continues to l lead me to amazing discoveries.

Salamat Hari Raya Nyepi, 2014

I am writing on the eve of Nyepi, the Balinese Hindu New Year, after a enjoying a day of silent reflection; the whole island of Bali is dark, no lights, no traffic, no planes and no sound.  The sky is sparkling with stars, often not seen, due to all our lights.  It is so peaceful.  I have the feeling that comes over me at a birth- the world stops and nothing else matters, the sacredness of new life, the connection to the divine in each of us can be felt.  I feel a deep sacred connection to nature.

Last night, like labor, the feeling was completely different and much more intense.  Over the last few weeks, each village made several large Ogoh-Ogoh statues made of papier-mache symbolizing negative elements and evil spirits.  The main purpose of the making of Ogoh-ogoh is for the purification of the natural environment of any spiritual pollutants.  The Ogoh-ogoh represents the Bhuta-Kala (Bhuta: eternal energy, Kala: eternal time), according to Hindu teachings. The imperceptible potentials of nature cannot be thoroughly explored by anyone. Philosophically, civilized men are required to manage the natural resources without damaging the environment itself.  What a wonderful thought to apply to birth, to honor and trust nature and not to damage it by overuse of technology.

As the sunset, groups of boys, teenagers, young and older men carried the Ogoh-ogoh on their shoulders.  A large and loud procession accompanied by tradition Gamelan music played as the entire village came out to join the procession and walk the village to ward off the evil spirit.  Several of the Eat Pray Doulas and their families joined in.  During the procession, the Ogoh-ogoh is rotated counter-clockwise three times. This is done at every crossroad of the village.  Rotating the Ogoh-Ogoh represents the contact of the bodies with the spirits.  It is intended to bewilder the evil spirits so that they go away and cease harming human beings.  After all the activity the island goes silent.  Like labor, lots of work and intensity and then the peaceful moment of holding your newborn in your arms, resting after all your hard work.  Just like birth it is important to ask – How do you ward of your fears and demons?  I love the Ogoh- Ogoh’s and all it symbolizes.  It gives us a chance to voice our fears and demons and to have a way to both symbolically and today in meditation and prayer to release and chase them away.  Wouldn’t it be fun to make our own dolls/puppets or item that could hold all our fears and negative things we have heard about childbirth?  To find our own way to release them, or as they do here to burn them and take a day to sit in silence and reflect as tomorrow begin the Balinese New Year, with new beginnings.  I am humbled to have shared in these sacred ceremonies and to look at ways we can reclaim our sacred rituals in childbirth too.

As I look at the sky sparkling tonight, I think of each of you around the world.  I hope you too can look at the stars tonight and feel the peace we feel in Bali on this sacred eve.  May the stars fill your heart with love and help you release your fears and demons.

How will you release your fears in childbirth? Please share your stories and ideas so we can reclaim sacred traditions and create new rituals in childbirth.

Join me at Eat Pray Doula

Fall 2014 or Spring 2015

I am writing as I listen to great laughter emanating from the Balinese who have gathered for the afternoon Laughing Yoga in the village of Nyuh Kuning.  Just hearing the laughter from my room I am smiling and can feel the change in my body.  What makes you smile inside and out?  What can you do to bring that feeling to you in labor and childbirth?  To laugh, releases our stress.  It’s hard to stay in the fear-tension-pain-cycle that so many women get stuck in during labor, when you smile and use laughter in labor.  It feels so nice hear the laughter.  I am drawn to go see them.  I join the crowd gathering as everyone smiles and laughs, it is contagious and feels so good!  I can feel the beta-endorphins, the hormones of pleasure flowing.

The effects of laughter are amazing including a reduction in blood pressure and significant drop in cortisol levels equating to a stress-free experience.  When we laugh, more oxygen ends up in the tissues of the body.  Laughter also encourages the body to produce oxytocin, the same hormones released during labor which relaxes the cervix.  Laughter has also been shown to reduce pain by blocking the message to the brain that pain is occurring. – Guardian Liberty Voice

What does it feel like when you change your hormones?  We all know that feeling when we are scared or stressed.  You can feel the change in your body as our stress hormones flow and tension takes hold of your body.  Check-in with how you are feeling at this moment….  Now watch this laughing baby:

How do you feel now?  Within 90 seconds you can begin to understand how there are many simple and subtle ways we can change our hormonal flow and transform pain to power and pleasure in birth.

Recently I spent the day at the Water Temples in Bali with our Eat Pray Doulas.  Water is the element of emotion.  We could feel our emotions flowing with each sacred blessing, water flowing from deep within the earth poured on us.  Each fountain blessing us with it’s element as we held our intention, the water cleansing us and touching us in so many emotional ways. The cool water on our hot skin, we held reverence as we each connected to the divine energy within us in our unique ways.  Peace poured over us and again we changed our physiology and released our stress hormones, moving to calm, connection and the hormone of love- oxytocin was released with prayer and meditation.

As I lay by the pool, savoring the memories of our special week together, we talked about Orgasmic Birth.  The feelings of surrender, peace, joy and love that we have felt are exactly what is needed to bring us pleasure in birth too.  Take time to feel your body, understand what brings you comfort, calm, love and pleasure and find simple ways to bring this to birth is the beginning of transforming pain to power in childbirth and beyond.

Please share in our comments what tips, techniques, or tools have you used, or will you use, to move from pain to pleasure, to transform you hormones from stress, tension, pain to calm connection, love and pleasure?

Learn how you can join us at Eat Pray Doula this Fall 2014 or Spring 2015!

My journey to Bali began almost 30 years ago when Robin and I began our connection as passionate, young, postpartum doulas. Like many friends who hold a place in our heart, yet our lives take us in different direction, we went years without seeing each other, although I always followed Robin’s amazing work in Bali and felt our connection.

Robin and I both shared a special friendship with amazing midwife, Mary Kroeger. Mary kindled our connections and taught us each so much. Mary taught us both to be a birth warrior with love not anger as anger closes people’s hearts and if we want to transform birth we must open all our hearts. Mary’s transformational book Impact of Birthing Practices on Breastfeeding, with Linda Smith, was the first book that helped us understand- if we want to fix breastfeeding we must fix birth! Mary’s vision of creating an international version of the Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative began the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative where human rights, quality care for MotherBaby and love, bring the care of the Mother along with the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative for breastfeeding together. We continue the IMBCI in Mary’s memory, vision and wisdom as while she is no longer with us, she is always in our hearts

When Mary was passing she knew I loved her purple sarong. She gave it to me and shared that Ibu Robin had giving it to her. She asked me to do 2 things, 1) to chair and continue the IMBCI, and 2) to go to Bali to bring the sarong back to where it came from and reconnect with Robin. What an honor to have two such amazing tasks to do to fulfill her wishes. I have done both.

Coming to Bali the first time 4 years ago, I was not prepared for how much my re-connection with Robin would awaken a deep part of my passion and soul and take me to a place where I now call Bali my home away from home. Together we vision Eat Pray Doula as a way to share the magic of Bali and the wisdom of the birthkeepers with women from around the world. With a vision this big we knew we needed a third partner to birth our dreams. Another midwife Katherine Bramhall. Katherine had trained as a doula with me many years ago; she went on to become a midwife, connected with Robin and is now Chair of the Bumi Sehat Birth Center. The circle felt perfect, Mary working her magic in bringing us together so we can bring others together.

Today as I listen to Katherine teaching that time will heal, I look around our circle into the eyes of our amazing doulas from around the world. I feel the connections that keep growing knowing that reconnecting the circle of women, is the beginning of healing birth, healing women to birth their dreams and visions for their children, families, friends and planet.

On this day, Katherine teaches about breastfeeding after a challenging birth, step #1) “re-establish love.” Love will get the hormones flowing and re-empower the mother regardless of her circumstances. In the Philippines, Indonesia, Haiti and in any areas where there has been natural disaster, we want to protect the sacred time after birth for MotherBaby and must help re-establish love. This special quiet skin-to-skin time is essential in any situation. Dim the lights, create a sense of privacy and intimacy so the MotherBaby breast crawl will happen in it’s own time.

I listen to today’s Eat Pray Doula discussion and think again of Mary, how proud she would be that her knowledge and wisdom is being passed on.  She has connected a circle that grows and grows.

Eat Pray Doula Will you join us at the next EPD Workshop? Are you being called to join the circle of women around the world? We are women, mothers, teachers, acupuncturist, yoga teachers, educators, doulas, midwives, lactation consultants, nurses, grandmothers, sisters, and more. We invite you to join us to birth your dreams in Bali.