Debra Pascali-Bonaro

Awaken Your Inner Wisdom

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A doula is born

There is something magical about watching participants arrive into a doula workshop and slowly blossom and open like a lotus flower as they become part of the special circle of doulas supporting one another in birth and life.  

As the her-story of female companionship in birth is told, the circle begins to form and I can see the oxytocin and calmness begin to rise as each person realizes not only is the doula role ancient, it is supported by research. The doulas learn the incredible benefits for MotherBabies and Partners when they have the support of a doula, as well as the fascinating hormonal research of the female stress response, “tend and befriend”. When women are together and connected, the hormones of calm grow and stress is reduced which is a gift we give each other in birth and in life. As this information is shared, I can truly feel the doula spirit emerging from each participant, as they realize their deep intuition that this circle is crucial to a healthy life and is supported by research.

Every culture around the world has rich traditions of female companionship in childbirth. In Japan, where I recently had the honor of teaching, I learned more about the history of women in their culture, gathering to offer comfort and support, singing and dancing thus bringing joy and pleasure to birth.

Japanese Image of Pleasurable Birth -giving birth naturally Childbirth stories
I received this beautiful gift from Matsuriko Natsamr of the True Sexuality School,  a copy of a 12th Century Artwork depicting the circle of women, singing, dancing, birthing upright with a midwife and filled with ecstasy.

It doesn’t not take long to remember and reclaim the traditional wisdom of our ancestors, as its deep in our knowing – within our circle of doulas the oxytocin levels begin to rise and we move, dance and share our stories. From each woman in our circle a doula is born, not only to support birth, but to support each other in life too.

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Read more about my visit to Japan as a doula trainer and the HerStory of birth there.

Magic Happens when Given the Chance

A Serendipitous Meeting with an IMBCI Gentle Birth Hospital

I’ve just finished an amazing doula workshop in Austria with my dear friend Angelika. The workshop was wonderful, and inspiring – and now I have a break before our next group of doulas arrive and I am able to spend some time working on other things. As Chair of the International Childbirth Organization (IMBCO), I get the opportunity to work with Doctors, Midwives and Facilities worldwide that are demonstration sites for the IMBCI 10 Steps of gentle hospital birth. Angelika has woken early to doula for a baby that is transverse and will have a planned cesarean birth. Since the site of the birth, Feldbach Hospital is one of the IMBCI Models, I’ve decided to come along. The Doctors and Midwives here have been a part of the IMBCI for many years, but being so busy caring for childbearing families they have not had as much time for meetings in the past- and were unable to book time with me this trip.

I decided to join Angelika feeling hoping that maybe this baby would create some magic and give me an opportunity to say hello to Dr. Hoffman and Dr. Huber – bringing us all together.

We arrive and Angelika goes into the birthing area as the woman is being prepared for a cesarean birth. I get my morning pleasure – a nice cup of coffee and sit in the waiting area in the hall. It’s not long at all and Dr. Hoffman comes by and sees me. He is surprised to see me and is quite busy, but is looking forward to meeting later when he has a moment break from caring for women and their babies. I am comfortable and waiting for a birth, as he is too, so we are all relaxed knowing it will come together. Soon after, Dr. Huber appears, also busy going to the morning meeting, we share big smiles of excitement and surprise seeing each other, and we plan to meet later after his meeting.

Before long Dr. Huber returns with another Doctor who is helping with the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative. They have some free time as today they will do one less cesarean. I smile… it’s not long and I hear that this is Angelika’s client! Before the cesarean began, a scan was done to confirm the baby’s position and the baby’s head is now down – no cesarean for her! The mother will now wait for labor and have a VBAC. I smile with tears of joy, this baby has really done magic to create it’s birth and also to bring us all together as without the opportunity to come to the hospital today we might not have all met – the baby truly created time and space for us to meet. A little later Dr. Hoffman is also available, and all of us – the Doctors and two doulas have important conversations about their work implementing the IMBCI and gentle cesareans. This hospital has lowered their cesarean birth rate by 6% and are as excited as we are to keep improving and being an amazing model.

Angelika and I leave the hospital sparkling with oxytocin! What a special morning, much more than we could have imagined on our drive over – not knowing if we’d even have a moment to say hi to the doctors since they were so busy, and instead having a productive and incredible meeting.

Afterward, we had to stop at my favorite chocolate factory to get a big endorphin high in celebration! Finding pleasure each day is a choice – even on the most terrible of days I still enjoy and appreciate a moment of something pleasurable. Today it chocolate with rose and marzipan, and it’s truly Orgasmic!

We smile as we drive thru the beautiful Austrian countryside – seeing castles on the hills, the sun shining and getting ready tomorrow to welcome another group of doulas to our workshop beginning the next day.

Living in the moment allows the magic to happen.Click To Tweet

Living in the moment allows the magic to happen. Waking today early with the sun has given us many blessing and time to feel our connection to nature and each other. Thank you baby – you truly have shifted not only your birth position and birth, but touched so many of us today creating a ripple effect. Your birth provided us the opportunity to meet with the doctors helping them enhance their dedication to the International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative – providing respectful, quality to care with compassion and heart, shining their light far and wide -which is so needed today. Baby- you are touching so many lives even before you are born, you are being felt and held with love as I am thinking of you and wishing you a safe, satisfying and pleasurable birth.

Knowing you will have Angelika’s doula wisdom with you and your family at your birth really makes me smile. Doulas make a difference, because we hold the space for the magic to happen!

Doulas make a difference, because we hold the space for the magic to happen!Click To Tweet

Join me in Austria next year, or somewhere else around the globe for a doula workshop. See my schedule here for dates -(and check back often for more dates, as we are always booking more!)

Family Friends, Food, Wine, Passion and Fun!

debra-and-jimi-italyWe sailed into Portofino, Italy early one morning, just a short distance from France where we had spent the last few days. From the moment I stepped on shore, there is a completely different feeling – it must be my Italian blood as there is a different energy, a familiarity to me. I am ready for pasta, Italian music, and I can’t wait to eat our first Italian lunch in Santa Margherita.  Two days later we arrive in Rome, a place I have been fortunate to have visited many times before. I have so many stories from Roma from what seems like a lifetime ago – I had been a flight attendant or back then we were called “stewardesses” or “air hostesses”, and I would fly to Rome often and would spend a few days a week there. Since then, I have visited Roma to speak about doulas at the Ministry of Health, visited on my honeymoon, and even to spent a few days with a dear friend of mine, Father Peter who gave me a private tour of the Vatican and amazing art/history lessons around the city…a story for another day 🙂 

I love walking thru Rome’s piazza’s at night -Piazza Navona, Pantheon, and Trevi Fountain are my favorite nighttime walks in Rome but for me, nothing compares to heading south of Naples to Agerola and the Amalfi Cost to where my great-grandmother is from. As I have shared in other blogs, I work hard to find a balance between passion, work, pleasure and rest.  It’s not always easy but I can be sure that each year when I head to Agerola and the Amalfi coast my heart, belly, and soul will be filled with enough to take home memories of pleasure for months to come.  

italy-sunsetWinding up the mountain from Napoli the views begin to lift my whole being higher.  Coming thru the tunnel and seeing the sign of welcome to Agerola I truly feel I have come home, back to another time when life was simpler (which has some great advantages and it’s difficulties too). Soon we are pulling into the driveway of my family – Graziella and Agostino’s home with Nonna Maria, Nonno Antonio and their daughter Angela too.  What great hugs, smiles, kisses and soon the food..ahhh…Graziella is the best cook in the world! (I really mean that and can’t wait for her cookbook to be ready to share with you as I know you will love her recipes as much as I do!)

Although a year had passed I felt as If I never left.  After some concern over Nonna’s health as she needs surgery on a duct from her gall bladder and is not feeling well and also looking very yellow, we give her our love and prayers that the operation will happen soon and say good bye till tomorrow and head down the other side of the mountain. Agerola is called little Switzerland as it is  located at the  peak of the Amalfi coast looking down to the Bay of Naples on one side and the Mediterranean on the other- with spectacular views and a cozy mountain life of cows giving fresh milk in the morning – made into the best mozzarella and ricotta cheese by 9 am you have ever tasted!

scooters-italy Efesio our friend and trusted driver in this region takes us to our Villa with spectacular views of Positano and glistening sunsets.  It is wonderful to be with our friends from NJ and CA as I get to give them a tour of my favorite things to do on the Amalfi coast which includes walking thru the magical Valley of the Fairies – my favorite walk in all of the world – which goes thru a small rainforest with spectacular waterfalls, Roman ruins, lemon groves and down into the Town of Amalfi for the best lemon cream!  We also spent time walking around Positano -Priano where my great-grandfather was born, had a picnic at Pipo that Angela prepared for us with one of the amazing views in Agerola, and an incredible family dinner.  We also rented scooters and drove together along the Amalfi Coast, which is one of the best ways to take in all the sights, sounds and smells on these windy roads overlooking the Mediterranean sea.  The days are full and I savor every moment, every hug and every taste.  

italy-familyThe time goes by too quickly and l say each time one of these years I need to come and spend several months in Italy and learn Italian.  I know I am still a few years from this, but I do vision that one day I will make it happen! In the meantime, I will be in Italy again next year and hope to teach a workshop…if you’d like to join me, sign up to receive details as they become available. 

What is your favorite Italian food that fills you with pleasure? What about your favorite place in Italy?

Share you favorite Italian tweet or share mine – “Mangia bene e ama la vita! Eat well love life”

A True Life Red Tent

Returning to Angelika‘s and her amazing Red Tent Elysia is for me is truly coming to my other home.  It has been 14 years and almost 300 doulas which we have offered the doula wisdom to in Austria.  Each time I return to the singing, dancing and warm cozy womb like room that invites us each to calm, connection and to share our stories of the joys and challenges of life and birth I feel transformed.
Jaqueline our amazing translator and friend joins us and the three of us quickly share the events in our lives and our families since the last time we were together.  In 14 years we have shared births, losses, family challenges, joys and many orgasmic moments as our deep friendship crosses culture and language to a connection of our hearts and minds. With our friendship ready for the next group and next phase our lives we welcome the doulas into the red tent and begin 3 transformative days – inviting each person to explore their her-story, their beliefs about childbirth, to share their experience with birth both as a mother and how they were born.  With tears of joy and healing tears of release – all together we move and share our passion for birth and to unconditionally support women and their partners as we create safe, satisfying gentle births filled with pleasure and love!

I  am already looking forward to next time when I return to Elysia  in Austria with Angelika and Jaqueline in June 2017 for two doula workshops, I hope you will join us at one or enjoy the Austrian Doula choirs birth and circle songs and sing along with us.

Please see my schedule for upcoming workshops and dates around the world.

Spreading Oxytocin in Japan

by Kiyo Ito
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I cannot believe that it has already been two weeks since I returned to my home in NYC from my home country Japan.  I am still filled with oxytocin and love from the amazing experience I had there- An experience of organizing the first ever Birth Doula workshop in Japan featuring Debra!  

I participated in Debra’s birth doula training at the Birth Day Presence (NYC, New York) more than two years ago. It opened my eyes to a whole new world and changed my life forever. I totally fell in love with the idea of supporting women through pregnancy and birth as a Doula. During the first day of that life-changing training, I already knew that I was going to become a Doula.  I also knew that I was going to encourage women- not only those who want to become Doula, but any woman who wants to learn about the wonders and power of pregnancy and birth- to take part in Debra’s workshop.  By the end of the training, I knew that I want to one day organize Debra’s Doula workshop in Japan.

After the Birth Day Presence workshop, I quickly got busy with the daily juggling of work and life- starting a doula career, working on short-term overseas consultancy stints for an international development agency and finding time to spend with my husband, family and friends.  I quickly forgot my dream of one day organizing a Doula workshop in Japan.

14202607_10206072742132497_7691291795037344645_nThen it happened. I was taking Khalsa Way Prenatal Yoga teachers training in 2015 when I met Debra again- she was one of the speakers of the training at Khalsa Way. It reminded me of how much I enjoyed her Doula workshop and how I wanted women in Japan to experience what I had experienced.  It was a sign- it was time for me to get into action.

I quickly contacted my friend Rieko, who is most likely the only Japanese professor researching doula. I convinced her to work with me on organizing the Doula workshop in Japan. We made a plan, assembled a team of energetic volunteers, started fund raising, and started a search of the perfect location to hold the workshop.

It took close to one year of preparation, but we were finally able to secure the funding, sorted out the logistics, and welcomed Debra in Japan to conduct the workshop in a quiet and peaceful Japanese traditional house.

In the morning of September 6th, 20 enthusiastic participants- including 3 midwives and surprisingly two men- gathered at a traditional house in Tokyo to begin what will be a life changing experience for them.

I knew that Debra will do her magic at the workshop, but at the same time I was worried about the reaction of my Japanese participants, especially medical personnel as birth doula is a totally new concept in Japan. There are few postpartum doulas working in Japan, but birth doula is still unheard of to the Japanese public and pregnancy/birth is considered something for medical professionals to engage in.  Japanese, myself included, are also on the shy side and it usually takes some time for us to open up and BAGANAGOMU. 

2016-09-06-14-41-19But, it took no time for Debra to draw them into her world and the world of Doula.  I could see all the participants getting drawn into her and her message and enjoying learning to be a Doula.  It was a great opportunity for all of us, including me, to think about birth in Japan- how they were done in the past, how they are being done now, and how we can do them better for both the mother and the baby.

I sensed that the participants were enjoying the workshop, but I wasn’t certain to what extent.  So when I started reviewing the participant’s comments and survey that they had filled out, I couldn’t stop crying from joy. All the participants had many positive things to say and appreciated the workshop. I was so happy to be part of this successful birth doula workshop, which I believe is the beginning of the birth doula movement in Japan.

In addition to the workshop, together with Debra, I visited a birth house, birth clinic and hospitals in Nagoya and Tokyo.  It was a great experience to see the reality of birth settings and beautiful efforts of Japanese birth workers. It gave me a lot of ideas on how doula can work together with other birth workers in Japan to enhance the quality of birth in Japan.  I also saw the challenges, obstacles and long road ahead before Doulas are accepted and fully embraced by mothers, medical practitioners and hospitals.  But, all Doulas are optimistic and I am proud to be one of them. This is just the beginning of a revolution.  I am confident that doula will be mainstreamed into Japanese society and spread oxytocin and love.  Who knows, availability of Doula services may become the ultimate solution to young Japanese’ reluctance to having babies resulting in quickly aging society and shrinking populations.

Thank you Debra, you planted the seeds for wonderful birth in Japan.  You have trained twenty professional and caring birth doulas in Japan. I will do my part to see them blossom and grow. One day, we will see many Doulas in Japan providing options for women to have the best pregnancy/birth experience that they truly desire and deserve.

Read more about Debra’s time in Japan!

Interested in joining a doula workshop? Learn more about doulas, attend a workshop, retreat, or Pain to Pleasure workshop!

What’s it like to take a doula training?

Mothering PositionCurious about what it is like to take a doula training? What types of things you will learn, what the atmosphere is like? Read a recent testimonial that was shared with us from one of Debra’s trainings

The training exceeded my expectations. I now know how to be a great Birth and  Postpartum Doula. The information and literature was extremely helpful and invigorating.   I learned about the joys and challenges that may arise during the mother’s transition into motherhood when she arrives home from the hospital and how important my role is as a Postpartum Doula.

The instructor was awesome. She was knowledgeable, and explained everything in detail to us. Debra did various demonstrations and so did we, which made the class so exciting. Some nights we had homework and everyone was eager to present the next day. Our instructor shared her experiences of being a Doula with us, the good, the bad, the indifferent and we were just in awe at the stories she told us. She was uplifting and empowering. We also learned the Business aspect of being a Doula; such as ensuring our paperwork is accurate and in order and to take good notes at all times and over all how important documentation is. We also received marketing tips on how to present ourselves to the public. I have a clear understanding of how to obtain my certification, which I am looking forward to.

Lastly, I had the distinct honor and pleasure of being in the midst of such beautiful women of all cultures they were, kind, giving, talented, wise, intelligent, funny and grateful.  The room was filled with love. Love for the lives that we will touch as Doulas.  We shared stories of motherhood, recipes, resources, smiles, tears and laughter. We bonded and are now Doula sisters.

Again thank you I am truly Grateful,
~Patrina Owens

LET THE CIRCLE BE OPEN BUT NOT UNBROKEN

Interested in becoming a doula and want to learn more?

Community Doulas Equal Positive Birth Outcomes

by Gabriela Ammann, MPH, LCCE, CD(DONA), Director, By My Side Birth Support Program

“I commend these women. To be able to be so passionate, available, and helpful in a time that could either make a woman crumble with fear or grow with empowerment is amazing.” (1)The first thought I had as I prepared to write this was wow, the By My Side Birth Support Program is 6 years old! I had to take that in for a moment – six years providing free doula support to hundreds of women in Central Brooklyn, and still going strong! Back in 2010, Healthy Start Brooklyn developed By My Side both to complement our other maternal home-visiting programs that did not offer labor and birth support, as well as to address the lack of accessible doula support for women living in high-poverty neighborhoods in our program area. To date, By My Side doulas have supported over 560 families and have attended 433 births. Outcomes for the program are promising – rates of cesarean section, preterm birth, and low birthweight are all lower among program participants than the overall rates in the neighborhoods we serve. And because we’re based in the New York City Department of Health, we have support from a great network of colleagues.

Data and statistics aside, none of this would be possible without our amazing team of doulas, some of whom have been with us since the beginning, and two who were themselves clients in the program! They are an incredible group of women who are deeply dedicated to supporting women and families during their childbearing year; I am honored and grateful to work with them.doulas

One of our former clients recently wrote a blog about her experiences with the By My Side Birth Support Program. You can read the full blog here, but below are excerpts that I think exemplify doula support and its profound impact on birthing women:

“She fed me, bathed me, massaged my back, held my hand, made sure my husband was taken care of and fed, and held my head up out of the tub so I could nap between contractions during transition. She would make low moaning sounds with me to help me focus. She lay in bed with me and my husband and supported us through a 24 hour long home birth with back labor.”

“I commend these women. To be able to be so passionate, available, and helpful in a time that could either make a woman crumble with fear or grow with empowerment is amazing.”

gabriell

Gabriela Ammann, MPH, LCCE, CD(DONA) is the Director of By My Side Birth Support Program, a The Healthy Start Brooklyn Program (HSB) funded project. HSB seeks to improve the health and wellness of women, infants, and their families in Central Brooklyn. Rates of infant death, premature birth, and illness in the neighborhoods of Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brownsville, Bushwick, East New York, and Flatbush are far higher than elsewhere in New York City and the United States. To enhance the lives of families in these neighborhoods, HSB supports services, education, and training. To learn more visit HERE or contact 718-637-5231

Interested in becoming a doula?

Join Debra Pascali-Bonaro for an upcoming workshop or retreat. 4

 

Community Doula Program

rotondi+birth-1by Regina M. Conceição, BA, CD(DONA), CLC

My first doula experience happened when I was 13 years old, although I didn’t know it at the time. Every day after school towards the end of my aunt’s pregnancy my mother would send me over for a couple of hours to help her with chores around the house.  I remember Titi Manda being so big and swollen and unable to bend down and dust her living room end tables.  My job was to take care of the dishes, help her with the cleaning and just make her feel more comfortable in general.  When my cousin was born I still loved helping. I changed diapers, kept the baby entertained and helped by putting him to sleep. I loved it so much and my Aunt loved the help so much that when she was pregnant again four years later I willingly took the chance to be by her side and help out.  Despite the fact this was my own family, these experiences ignited a lifelong commitment to serve and support mothers during their time of need.

Fast forward to the end of my junior year in college I discovered midwifery and doula care in one of my Women’s Studies courses. Learning about midwifery struck a chord with me and I made the decision to become a doula after doing a little more research on what exactly a doula did. I enrolled at Hands of Light a traditional midwifery and healing arts school in Fitchburg, Mass that offered one weekend a month classes on becoming a doula and DONA doula training as well.  I traveled from CT one weekend a month for a year and received my doula certification.  

In 2004 I was hired by Columbia University Early Head Start’s newly formed Perinatal Support Program (PSP).  At PSP I assisted with organizing our program’s doula training with Debra Bascali-Bonaro.  After receiving my second DONA doula training I worked towards my certification.  At PSP I was able to provide doula services to pregnant mothers living below the poverty line and living in under-served communities.  Providing doula services to PSP participants I was able to hone in on my skills on how to support mothers and their families.  I learned how to provide education, logistical planning, and social support to help reduce stress associated with preterm labor and connect families to community resources.  I officially became a certified DONA doula in 2007 and established my doula business, A Passion for New Beginnings, Inc. (APNB). After 5 years at Columbia University Early Head Start Perinatal Support Program I decided to leave and focus on APNB’s growth and development.

A few months after leaving PSP, I began to feel a huge void in my heart.  Although I enjoyed working with private clients I deeply missed my community doula work.  To help fill the void I would occasionally volunteer and teach a class to PSP.   Then one day while reading The Metropolitan Doula group email digest there was an inquiry about forming a community doula program in Brooklyn to help improve maternal infant mortality rates.   I immediately responded to the email and shared my experience with PSP and connected the sender of the email with my former supervisor.  In December 2009 By My Side was born and I along with 3 other doula colleagues started to provide doula services to low income women in Brooklyn.

My involvement with By My Side has been filled with many amazing and intense moments. When the father of one family was deported, leaving the pregnant mother alone with two other children under the age of five, I decided to reach out to one of my former clients and asked them to post on their parent list serve that I was looking for donations of gently used baby items, clothes and toys for my client’s other children.  A few days later I made arrangements to pick up the items directly from the donor and learned that she was a former attorney who wanted to start a nonprofit organization to connect families to donations of essential baby and children’s items.  I eventually connected the donor with By My Side’s program director and from there she gave birth to her nonprofit organization, Little Essentials.  That encounter also provided an additional blessing as the donor ended up hiring my client after she had her baby to clean her house!

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I have had By My Side clients decide to become doulas after they have worked with me.  Mothers have been inspired to start small doula businesses, provide cooking classes, artisanal craft shops, etc. within their community.  One mother is now a By My Side Doula. A family By My Side was blessed to have a second time was a mother and father working on creating their small marketing and branding business.  I spent 2 hours of pushing in various positions with this couple.  Pushing looked like a game of Twister; my body bending, and arms stretching.  My body still remembers that birth, but I wouldn’t change that experience for the world.  Two weeks after that birth my client’s small business picked up and now they are running it full time and they recently helped with By My Side’s doula campaign!  My other experiences are bearing witness to families advocating for themselves, owning their birth stories and watching sometimes reluctant partners help mothers in labor.  

Being a By My Side Doula hasn’t always been easy. I have encountered many difficult experiences which have made me contemplate continuing my community doula work.  Thankfully, By My Side has a team of gifted, amazing, and talented doulas available whenever you need them.  They have literally “doulaed” me back to life and my life purpose.  Through my work with By My Side I am able to hold space for laboring clients.  It is an honor and privilege for me to be allowed into such a sacred time and space.  I consider myself blessed to be a part of a community doula program making such a difference improving birth outcomes one birth at a time.  By My Side is truly by your side.  

[Tweet “It is an honor and privilege for me to be allowed into such a sacred time and space. I consider myself blessed to be a part of a community doula program making such a difference improving birth outcomes one birth at a time.”]
“Birth must be honored and given every opportunity for the growth that is inherent in its potential.”  – Raven Lang

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Regina M. Conceição’s passion is rooted in the women’s studies movement – A woman’s strength is staunch, resolute, and purposeful. Her unwavering fervor for life is exuberantly demonstrated in her work guided by this women’s studies conviction. Inclusive, Regina is an avid advocate of midwifery and the integrative approach promoted by the midwifery model of care. She is the force behind A Passion for New Beginnings – learn more.

The Healthy Start Brooklyn Program (HSB) seeks to improve the health and wellness of women, infants, and their families in Central Brooklyn. Rates of infant death, premature birth, and illness in the neighborhoods of Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brownsville, Bushwick, East New York, and Flatbush are far higher than elsewhere in New York City and the United States. To enhance the lives of families in these neighborhoods, HSB supports services, education, and training. By My Side Doula program is a (HSB) funded project. to learn more visit: http://www.fphny.org/media/pdf/HSB-Brochure.pdf or contact 646.253.5700

Interested in becoming a doula?

Join Debra Pascali-Bonaro for an upcoming workshop or retreat. 4