Turning birth experience into expression

Submitted by: Krissy Shields

This was my first pregnancy. My first precious experience that I wanted everything to go perfectly. On my due date, my baby was carrying really high and I couldn’t imagine spontaneously going into labor in the next 5 days (the time limit for birthing in the birthing center). I also knew I wanted nothing to do with inductions.

By the time we inquired about changing our due date, they wouldn’t even consider it because of hospital rules or State law or insurance… So on my due date I got proactive, I got my “labor inducing” pedicure, spicy Korean food and some acupuncture. Nice and relaxed. Nothing was happening. At all. I mean, nothing. I continued trying to be cool and calm but I was freaking out by the day. Each passing day adding a new technique to move labor along. At about 5 days after my due date I went in for my “non-stress test” which is silly. It is anything but NOT stressful. I tried to convince the nurse that it was my irregular cycle that my date couldn’t possibly be correct. She kind of laughed and said, if you fail one of these tests you will be shipped up to labor and delivery now. Five days post date? We thankfully passed. I am not sure how because I have never been more stressed. My once calm attitude was moving into neurotic behavior by the day. Why? Because I was feeling the pressure of induction daily.

My freak out turned into action. Education is key. So, we googled. We googled “how to induce naturally”. Then, we asked around. And we tried everything. I mean, everything. Exactly two weeks after our due date, my midwife said you must come in to the hospital for induction. It is NY state law, she said. So, reluctantly, I went, after trying to convince her that I had plans tomorrow. She said, yes you have plans, you are having a baby.

I got there at midnight, after exhausting all possible ideas for a natural induction. They gave us cervadil, which is a synthetic inducer that is tampon like that softens the cervix. After 12 hours it was taken out and I was told to wait for 2 hours before the dreaded pitocin was to be administered. At this point I was furious. I stormed the halls and literally was about to leave when my best friend showed up. We sat (I bounced) telling stories and laughing our heads off. It happened. I started feeling these cramps and continued laughing, talking and bouncing. My boyfriend got word from my doula to calculate the times and length so we had a system for about 45 mins before my midwife came in and said lets start pitocin. Thankfully my team was there and said that I had started labor and didn’t need pitocin. My midwife said lets monitor this and that’s when it happened… I thought, I thought, imagine you are in labor. Imagine so hard that it happens. About 4 hours later our baby girl was born. Our instincts were correct…our conception date was wrong.

It took me a long time to forgive my midwife. I felt robbed. I felt no one was listening to me. After a few years and a successful home birth I bumped into her on the street. I had a moment of true resentment towards her but decided to talk to her. There was a reason why I chose her. I told her about my birth (she remembered almost nothing) and how it sparked an idea in my boyfriend to make a short film. We laughed and I explained my story. My anger was lifted as I knew she was just following protocol. It doesn’t mean I have to agree with it or like it but for me I was finally able to let it go. Laughter has a way of doing that.

For your free digital download of Krissy’s film please click here and look for Overdue at bottom of page.