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Bali: Blessing the Way

As I arrive in Bali, the change in climate is the first things to touch me, walking out of the airport the warm humid air caresses my skin and the sea of smiles of people waiting to welcome each person to Bali, feels so different already. As we are driving art, statues, and scooters are everywhere. The 1 1/2 hour drive from the airport to the beautiful village of Nyuh Kuning, is like a mental massage, my whole being relaxes, the cultures and pace of Bali begin to allow me to release and reflect on all I am leaving behind and all I hope to welcome and transform as Bali for me is always about transformation.

Arriving the the small, clean, green village of Nyuh Kuning my home in Bali always feels special. Each person welcomes you with a big smile and it’s not forced or fake, the Balinese smile with their heart and it will touch yours. My bed is covered in flowers as this tropical island gives us beauty all around and it’s even captured in the towels folded into a beautiful swan.

Relaxing & savoring Eat Pray Doula memories by the pool at Pelangi estate.
Relaxing & savoring Eat Pray Doula memories by the pool at Pelangi estate.

Soon the sounds of Bali – the Gamelan begin as it’s approaching Nyepi – the Balinese New Year and preparations are under ways to prepare for Ogoh Ogoh night, where giant statues are paraded thru the streets, the Gamelan band will play and all the evil spirits will be ushered away, it a time to reflect on what you need to release and replace as Nyepi the day following is a day of silent meditation and prayer. I love these traditions and rituals and each year Eat Pray Doula allows you to arrive early or stay late depending on which workshop you will attend to enjoy this colorful, traditional festival and make it your own time for reflection and rest.

I have purchased a sarong, Kebiah and sash as anyone is welcomed into their Hindu temple ceremonies if you wear traditional dress and are not on you menstrual moon and/or grieving. Ceremonies are blessings that include blessing with flowers, rice, incense and water. The Balinese is a culture of acceptance, and any religion or beliefs are welcome. You are invited to pray with them to your Divine and in your way as long as you honor theirs. If you would like to enjoy temple ceremony be sure to bring a t-shirt that covers your shoulders, a light scarf you can tie around your waist and we will be giving you a sarong or you might enjoy shopping at the market in Ubud for your own sarong and if you pick material you can have a kebaih made to fit in just a few hours, something I wear to nice dinners and events at home as they are so beautiful!

I was invited this year to my friend Congtit’s family ceremony to bless their new home and temple. Each family compound has it’s own temple. Each ceremony is started in the family temple and this day we go to their current home to their family temple to gather the spirit of the ancestors who are here and invite them to join us at the new temple. The older women chant for almost an hour as the priest goes into trance with his own chants and ringing of the bell, and different members take turns doing their blessings with flower, incense, water and rice. Although I don’t understand the words, I feel the sacredness and connect with my own ancestors. The women welcome me to sit with them, huddling close and the language of our heart makes me feel completely welcomed.

When this ceremony at the old family temple is over the women gather their baskets of fruit and flowers as offering onto their head to process to the next temple, followed by the village Gamalon and the family. I join them in walking thru the village to the temple of the deceased – the ancetory’s ground for more blessings form the village/family priest. After a shorter time here we process again to the river temple. more blessings and offerings and then onto the families new home. The Gamalon settles in the shade, the local priest blesses the ground and a high priest from a far away village has joined us and ascends to his seat high in the temple to begin his chanting, bell ringing, and prayers that look like a trance. The family and friend gathered begin a celebration, great food for all and soon men dressed in Balinese costumes with traditional masks entertain us, making everyone smile and laugh. this ancient tradition is to bring song, music, dance and happiness to the new home. The village has come out for this day to bless this new home for Congtit’s aunt and uncle.

I was not able to join them the day before but that too had been a full day ceremony with Ganesha to remove any obstacles from the new Temple, and today the second day to bring in all they would like here. Two days of processions, praying at the village and home temples. I think about when we move home, when we have life events, what does our village and family do? How do we honor and celebrate life changes. I am humbled with the connection each person has to not only each other but how the past is honored to move to the present, and the value of joy, happiness, connection and love. My saying we birth the way we live, makes me think we need more rituals in our everyday life, or ways to come together and honor or past, remove our obstacles before we move forward.

oqRHgj0OI invite you to not only join me, Ibu Robin and Katherine for Eat Pray Doula, but maybe like me to learn about a new culture, to reflect within on what you would like to release and what you would like to bring forward to birth and life and give yourself the gift of nurturing your mind, body and spirit in Bali with us. I hope you will consider enjoying Ogoh Ogoh day and the silence of Nyepi to be a part of an ancient Balinese ceremony and at night on Nyepi when the island is dark, no lights, no car, no planes, make sure to look up at the night sky where you will see more stars than ever in your life, it’s as if you can reach up and touch them. I take time to lay outside and dream.

P.S. Another way to nurture you body and spirt is with Balinese massage. Massages in Bali are incredible and so reasonable – and if you enjoy a head massage and hair washing you must check out Cantika or for a more expensive massage in a magical location visit Taksu Spa. We will arrange massage therapist to visit our villa every day after our Eat Pray Doula workshop so you can book massages by the pool waterfall or in your room.

Join me, Ibu Robin and Ibu Katherine in Bali next year to experience for yourself and see the new Bumi Sehat Birth Center! Birth Doula Workshop and Advanced Birthworker Workshop are both are taking early registration now at www.eatpraydoula.com.

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Woman who Coined the Term “Doula,” Saying Goodbye

On February 2nd, the birth community said goodbye to Dr. Dana Raphael- anthropologist, pacifist, philanthropist, ballet enthusiast, and the woman who coined the phrase “Doula.” My condolences go out to the family with deep respect for the amazing life and legacy Dr. Dana Raphael gave us.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr Dana Raphael in 1988 – 1989 when the doula movement was just beginning. A group of us, including Dr. Raphael, spoke about doulas and discussed how she coined the term “doula” to describe a female caregiver who “Mothered the Mother.” This was all prior to the establishment of DONA International in 1992. We held a gathering for what we called the National Association of Postpartum Care Services – NAPCS. We had some lengthy discussions as doulas were just beginning to organize and Dr. Raphael could see the ground swell of doulas, going from within the woman’s own circle, to that of a community of women who offered services as we now have them, all around the world. I remember her concerns, her vision and her passion. I have shared her book and work around the world as I train doulas with DONA International.

Below is the note Dr. Raphael’s family sent that I wish to share with you. Please share, do you like the term “doula” to describe women supporting birthing mothers? Please share in our comments your yes, nos, and whys.

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Pictured are Dr. Raphael & Margaret Mead. In 1975, they co-founded The Human Lactation Center, an institute devoted to researching patterns of lactation worldwide.

Dr. Dana Raphael, well-known medical anthropologist, writer and lecturer, who was best known for her work in supportive behavior and breastfeeding, died at home in Fairfield, Connecticut of complications from congestive heart failure on February 2nd. Raphael is credited with launching the Doula movement. The term doula was first used by Raphael in a 1969 anthropological study to describe a female caregiver during labor and childbirth whose function was often associated with successful breastfeeding (in Raphael’s words, ‘mothering the mother’). A longtime resident of Fairfield, she was also an avid supporter of Connecticut Ballet and the Connecticut Audubon Society. Raised in New Britain, Connecticut, her family started a chain of department stores (Raphael’s) that were well known in northwestern Connecticut into the early 1970’s.

She obtained her Ph.D. from Columbia University, studying with anthropologist and mentor, Margaret Mead. As a newly-wed in 1953, she did her initial field work in India. Her marriage to soul-mate and collaborator, Howard Boone Jacobson, lasted 60 years until his death in 2013. In 1975, she co-founded The Human Lactation Center with Margaret Mead, an institute devoted to researching patterns of lactation worldwide. The Center is now a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) that has consultative status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations.

il_570xN.764901422_aw2mRaphael’s seminal book, The Tender Gift: Breastfeeding, published in 1973, extols the virtues of lactation and offers a number of tools and techniques to assure a successful breastfeeding experience. Many in the midwife and Doula community refer to it as the ‘bible of breastfeeding’ for mothers looking to overcome social stigmas, medical concerns or personal challenges around lactation.

Dr. Raphael never shied away from controversy, having taken on milk formula companies such as Nestle in the 1980’s, pushing them to be more aware of the impact they were having on infant mortality in the developing world. She worked with them to amend their practices, creating educational programs to help mothers better understand how to use formula as a supplement to breastfeeding.  Taking her work a step further, she also served as Executive Director of the Eleventh Commandment Foundation, an NGO which researched the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse on women’s experiences of pregnancy, labor, childbirth and lactation. As a long-time member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), she was called to struggle against the Vietnam War, for justice for survivors of sexual abuse, for gender equality, and against sexist depictions of the female body in the media and popular culture.

In the last 20 years, Dr. Raphael served on the U.S. Board of the Club of Rome, working on climate change issues and creating programs to educate world leaders on the impact of climate change. Dr. Raphael served as an adjunct professor at Yale University, School of Medicine, and as an invited lecturer in the United States, China, India and Japan. She received two Fulbright awards, chaired or participated in more than fifty conferences and symposia, and wrote or edited five books and numerous articles.

She is survived by her three children, Brett Raphael, of Stamford, Connecticut, Seth Jacobson and wife, Cindy Short, of Malibu, California, and Jessa Murnin and husband, Jim Murnin, of Fairfield, Connecticut. She also leaves behind six beloved grandchildren: Wynn Jacobson-Galan, Layne and Skye Jacobson, and Kevin, Katie, and Sean Murnin.   In lieu of gifts, the family requests that contributions be directed to the Dana Raphael Fund for Connecticut Ballet. A celebration of her life and work will be held on March 6th. Please let the family know if you would like to attend.

Dr. Dana Raphael, you will be deeply missed – thank you for sharing your passion with the world. My condolences go out to the family with deep respect for the amazing life and legacy Dr. Dana Raphael gave us.

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Attention Birth Doulas, Kindness & Knowledge are Not Enough

Create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth

By: Katherine Bramhall, CPM

12244702_10153719374516737_2146311270992143088_oI sat in my villa on a beautiful Bali Saturday with the sun luring me to the many beauties outside such as the pool, a great iced coffee at Three Monkeys, an invitation to the beach, etc… yet I resisted the seduction of Busy. Instead I drank instant coffee and sat quietly working all day, compelled to harvest all that just unfolded in the last week with 14 incredible birth workers from all walks of life and all stages of life. I didn’t want to miss the harvest.

As I sat, women came to my door to say goodbye to me with their eyes and hearts soft and wide and hearts generous, open and overflowing with awe and gratitude for the experiences they had just shared together and privately during their time at Eat Pray Doula.

Words like ‘transforming’ and ‘I could never have imagined’ and ‘like no other workshop I have EVER attended’ along with ‘sisterhood’ and ‘tribe’ were quietly offered. These feelings affirming that the effort and investment to come to Bali to study was more than worth the investment in Themselves and could never be quantified by words alone.

I understood, as the Group was one more of the Gathering of Women that comes together to create something bigger and stronger for the future of Women in Birth at Eat Pray Doula. As one of their teachers, I am humbled.

But with all their dreams of becoming and developing as the keepers of Birth, what I saw MOST in them over the week was this:

Compassion is necessary to work with families in birth, but it isn’t enough.

Kindness is also necessary, but even it isn’t enough.

Intelligence and a hunger for knowledge and knowing is essential in order to teach and empower  families, but it isn’t enough.

Wit and humor for both our families and ourselves is so important, but also, not enough.

Certainly these things are all common denominators in women who work with families in birth.

But what I am basking in tonight as I look back at the close of yet another Eat Pray Doula workshop here in Bali is that the piece that feeds ALL of those things…the Essence that makes it all WORK is COMMUNITY.

Community with our Sisters ties all the other components together…holds us together so we can continue to evolve this Birth Movement backwards- back to the time when giving birth was seen as natural and normal and part of life. Community has always been a huge part of my work and I am forever grateful to you and all my sisters, all around the world, for the mutual support we have shared.

Join me for Eat Pray Doula: A Gentle Birth Evolution for All Birth Workers March 11 – 20, 2016 in Bali Indonesia

Midwifery student and aspiring doula trainer, Kate, shares about walking into the unknown with women and being respectful, kind, and honoring each other. She ask birth keepers if there is nurturing that can happen in your own life to enhance your work?

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My First Doula Workshop by Catalina Glasgow

CATALINAHello!

My name is Catalina and I have just completed my first DONA Doula Training Workshop in NYC with Debra Pascali-Bonaro and am on my way to become a DONA International Certified Birth Doula!  I am a 200-hour Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) in Brooklyn and currently attend school as I work towards a Nursing degree in pursuit of becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM).

My calling to birth work came to me after a very dark time in my life when I was faced with the most difficult decision I have ever had to make thus far.  I found myself pregnant and alone in my early 20’s with a lack of support from the current partner, friends and family that I had at the time.   It was not the fear of motherhood that led me to the decision to abort, but rather the fear of childbirth itself and an extreme sense of doubt in my body and myself that was perpetuated by the people in my life back then. Had I known what I know now about Doulas and Midwives and the support that I could have had through the labor process I truly believe that I may have been able to make a different decision in my pregnancy.  I think about my baby everyday and reflect on her to give me strength to do this work for all the women who need the same kind of support that I wish I had in my life during that period.

However, there is no light without darkness in this world.  So out of the darkest of times after losing my baby I was able to clearly see the light that lead me in the direction of my true calling as a birth worker.  When this awakening occurred deep within my soul I felt so overwhelmed with emotion.  It was if the weight of the world was suddenly now on my shoulders . . . HOW CAN I HELP EACH AND EVERY WOMAN? WHERE DO I BEGIN? HOW DO I GET INVOLVED?  WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK? These were the types of questions going through my head daily as I spent hours reading and researching on birth and what I could do to make a difference while still in school studying to become a nurse on the road to Midwifery.

As I stepped into the room on the first day of our DONA Doula Training Workshop with Debra I suddenly began to feel a sense of lightness.  Simply by knowing that I was in one room with a likeminded community of women working together for a common goal the weight began to lessen. The circle of support in the room where we shared our stories and learned directly from Debra’s profound wisdom and experience became extremely significant for me. Here, in this group of women, I had suddenly found the support that I was desperately missing in my past and so deeply needed for my future.   I found something that day, a part of me that I did not necessarily know was even missing and I still don’t know exactly what it was.  All I know is that I felt complete for the very first time in my life and I knew that I had been healed.

Each day I continued to feel lighter, gaining more and more confidence with Debra’s insight and guidance on how to support women in birth.  There were so many beautiful take-a-way’s from Debra that will stay with me forever and are imprinted on my heart, for example, “We birth the way we live”, “Be like Wendy” and “Birth it Forward”, just to name a few.  But, it was at one single point in the workshop when Debra said, “We know what we need to know when we need to know it” that I instantly felt all of the weight lifted off of my shoulders and I knew that I was now a Doula and that that was all I ever needed to know.

Thank you Debra! – Catalina Glasgow

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Debra offers doula workshops throughout the year and throughout the world. Please check her schedule for an upcoming workshop near you! No workshops near you? Interested in hosting one? Please email info AT www.orgasmicbirth.com for more information about bringing a workshop to you!

EAT PRAY DOULA – March 22 – 31st 2015. This DONA approved Birth Doula Workshop is taught by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, LCCE, CD(DONA), Ibu Robin Lim and Midwife Katherine Bramhall. Nine days, not only to learn, but to also nurture your spirit!  It is the time to come and immerse yourself in the gentle, loving, heart-opening energies of Bali.

The Birth Doula Workshop covers all of the basics of doula care before, during and immediately after childbirth. The workshop has been approved by DONA International and counts toward three steps toward certification (The DONA Workshop, Childbirth Education, Lactation Requirements). www.eatpraydoula.com

 

 

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10 Things I Wish All Pregnant Women Knew About Labor & Birth

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By: Aviva Romm, M.D.

When I was pregnant, I seemed to be a magnet for birth war stories – cords around the neck, emergency cesareans, and more. It took a lot of inner conviction to believe in birth as a natural, beautiful event that my body was capable of, rather than a “disaster waiting to happen,” as one obstetrician warned me it was.

But inner conviction I decided to have, and my four children were born at home, peacefully, and without drama or trauma. I made sure I was in awesome health throughout my pregnancies, eating an organic, plant-based diet. I did yoga daily, spent time in nature, and meditated on the type of birth I wanted to have.

And then I surrendered to the forces of nature. The power I experienced as a woman has given me confidence in so many areas of my life and I so wish this for other women.

Sadly, however, natural birth is becoming endangered! About one in three women in the US will have their babies by cesarean section. Maybe that sounds like no big deal – but actually, it’s major abdominal surgery and increases your risks of complications over natural birth.

Cesareans are grossly overdone in US hospitals. And they often make recovery and breastfeeding much more challenging. They expose your baby to an antibiotic (all moms having a cesarean are given antibiotics at the time of surgery) before she or he is even born. And most of the ones that are performed turn out to be unnecessary.

Also, many more women will have their labor induced or experience some form of obstetric intervention. The downturn in natural birth is so significant that a group of researchers wanting to study the natural course of labor couldn’t find a large enough group of women birthing naturally in any one place to study them!

But we can’t let natural birth go extinct because it’s way more than just a romantic ideal. Babies born vaginally (and without medication) have many health advantages. For example, just being exposed to mom’s flora on the way out of the birth canal decreases the lifetime likelihood of developing digestive problems, allergies, and even obesity.

While we can’t fully control what happens in our births, and of course, sometimes interventions are necessary (though often they aren’t!), you can embrace core beliefs that will increase your chances of having the birth experience that is optimally healthy for you and baby.

Here are the Top 10 philosophies that helped me have my babies naturally and that I have used to support thousands of women in their birthing experiences, and that can help you have an optimal birthing experience – maybe even the birth of your dreams!

1. Birth is a spiritual journey; it’s also primal.

Birth is, to say the least, an intensely physically and emotionally demanding experience. Approaching the challenge as a spiritual journey can help you dig deep into your core for the resources to persevere, and to learn about yourself and your innate strength and power.

Though a spiritual journey, it is not all incense and candles. It asks us to call upon our primal instincts – and sometimes even to get primal – making animal sounds, assuming poses that have us buck naked on our hands and knees, moving our hips in deep sultry belly dancing undulations.

Planning to take a deep dive into your subconscious and intuition to let your primal self emerge can allow you to open and birth your baby with a raw strength and power you might not now even realize lives within you.

2. Birth should not be taken lying down.

Lying down simply doesn’t let gravity do the work of helping baby come down and out! Walking, moving your hips like a belly dancer, and generally staying active facilitates a more physiologic process for baby than lying on your back in a hospital bed, which increases your chances of a cesarean.

3. Contractions are amazing sensations that get your baby born.

During my own births I used my imagination and awareness to dive deep into the sensation of my muscles working to help my baby get born. This focused awareness transformed by perception of the pain of birth into the power of birth.

I even used the term expansions rather than contractions to help me think about the sensation in a new way. It did not make them less intense, but it made the sensation my ally rather than my enemy. As I welcomed each new wave of labor, I knew I was closer to bringing my baby into my arms.

4. Fear stops labor.

Mammal mommas have powerful instincts that allow us to keep our babies safe from harm. For example, momma giraffes on the savannah will spontaneously stop labor if they sense a predator in the area, rather than dropping a helpless newborn to the ground. We too, have hormones that can stimulate labor (oxytocin) and those can stop labor if pumped out early because of fear (adrenaline).

So learning to transform fear into power and confidence is essential for a smooth birth. How is this done? Make sure you feel safe where you are birthing, that you have good support in labor, and that you have talked with your birth provider about any fears you are harboring or repressing about your health and safety, baby’s health and safety, or the birthing process. Being educated and informed can help you to dispel fears.

5. Question Authority (or Nice girls can ask questions – and say, “No”).

Obstetrics practices are not always based on the best science. The September 2011 issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology, the official publication of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), reported that only one third of all obstetrics guidelines in the US are based on good scientific evidence, one third are based on limited or inconsistent evidence, and the remaining third are based on expert opinion, which is “subject to bias, either implicit or subconscious.”

So just because a doctor (or midwife) tells you something is required (lying down in labor, having a vaginal exam, wearing an external fetal monitor for your entire labor, having an IV drip routinely), doesn’t mean you have do it unquestioningly — or at all. As girls and young women, many of us learn not to question authority — just be a “good girl,” and don’t be the geek who asks questions. Many of the procedures done in hospitals are done “just because” they are routine but often not necessary.

So if something is recommended or expected that makes you uncomfortable or you’re not sure of the reason, ASK! And if you’re not comfortable with the explanation, you can decline. Having an advocate there who can help you sort through decisions, especially when you are otherwise occupied doing the work of labor, is especially valuable.

6. Women should eat and drink during labor.

Current scientific evidence has demonstrated that low-risk women who eat and drink in labor are not at significantly increased risk of food aspiration in the event of a cesarean, which has been the much-feared reason for keeping women on an ice-chips and fruit-pops-only regimen in labor for the past few decades.

In fact, keeping up your energy with light and nourishing fare has been found, by many midwives and mamas, to facilitate labor and reduce the likelihood of labor petering out, or needing Pitocin or a cesarean.

7. Your body is a marvelous, perfectly crafted force of nature.

Believing in yourself is powerful medicine! Yet most of us go into labor believing our bodies might be lemons – the reject in the batch that just doesn’t work properly and needs to be sent back to the factory on a recall!

The reality is, nature is amazing at creating powerful systems that work. Setting intentions and learning to have confidence in the birthing process – and your body – are among the most powerful tools you can use to go with the natural flow of labor and birth and gain some self-enlightenment in the process.

8. Obstetrics is BIG Business.

There is a whole system of medicine out there, called obstetrics, making a fortune off of your body! In fact, there is enormous financial incentive for obstetricians to do ultrasounds (in my community, a doctor’s office charges the insurance company $700 per ultrasound), offer endless tests, and big bucks when it comes to doing a cesarean rather than supporting a natural, vaginal birth.

Want to avoid unnecessary medical interventions? Then make your body your business by getting educated. Read about birth. Some good places to start: Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, Henci Goer’s The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, and my book, The Natural Pregnancy Book.

9. Birth is something you do, not something that is done to you.

Whether you dance, groan, or hypnobirth your way through labor, it ain’t called labor for nothing. It takes work, focus, and sweat to get a baby out. Powerful muscles move a 6 to 8 pound being (on average) a short distance through a relatively small space. This means EFFORT is required.

Just as with any hard task, being realistic about what’s involved, setting your mind and heart to it by getting psyched ahead of time, and then having strategies to call upon when your energy or determination wavers will get you to the other side of the finish line with power and pride.

10. Birth can be ecstatic.

While there might be some huffing and puffing, grunting and groaning, and even a holler or two if you need to vocalize the intense energy moving through you as you bring your baby out into the world, birth can be an ecstatic experience, particularly when you appreciate yourself for the accomplishment of a hard job done with determination and experience the ecstasy of holding your new baby in your arms.

As you get closer to your baby’s birth, and even in labor, here’s a simple mantra to tell yourself, “I’ve got this!”

Wishing you an ecstatic birth,

AJR-Sig

 

 

 

 

 

For more of Aviva’s wisdom visit her at http://avivaromm.com/

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